[Archibald Asparagus loves a party, he fucks it up at a church ice cream social, and don't even get him started on the discotheque-- but right now he's being a real fuddy-duddy. Far be it for him to say so about God's plan but maybe, just maybe, there's some wiggle room to kvetch about this little mistake here; Abe and Lucy's words NOT HIS! He's elated to have made it to Heaven, don't get him wrong, but did this really have to be on the busiest week of his year? The shooting schedule for the new special is nearly 24/7 at this point and here he is, yucking it up with all of you. Sipping punch, shuffling his-- not feet; his stalk-- wearing a little "HELLO MY NAME IS ARCHIBALD" scribbled in sharpie and laid evenly across his sweater vest. Not feeling much at all like small talk, but he'll give it his best. He always does!]
Excuse me! [A little British voice calls out-- at a reasonable volume, of course. He clears his throat, second-guessing if that was too loud or not.] Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Archibald Asparagus and I enjoy talking about Jesus from time to time! [He leans in and waggles his eyebrows] But I have quite the appreciation for a jukebox musical as well!
b. up and down the produce aisle
[After the initial nerves of arrival are shaken off, Archibald is pleased as punch with this arrangement. Speaking of punch—don’t mind if he does! Ol’ Archie is going to be kicking back with some punch up on Heaven’s finest white-sand beaches (which I'm sure is normal punch with no strange catch), in a gawdy Hawaiian shirt and some sunglasses. Oh, and a little coconut levitating at his side and occasionally floating up toward his mouth in an approximation of what it must be like to have arms. If you were to approach him, he would lower his sunglasses and smile up at you.]
Oh, well hello! Another day in paradise, as it were!
[How neigborly!]
c. have we got a show for you
[Hell on the other hand. As you can imagine, a vegetable who has dedicated his life to being in God's good graces and spreading His word isn't happy here. In fact he looks lost and terrified. Like Snow White running daintily through an evil forest, Archibald Asparagus is stumbling around desperately in search of purchase.]
Oh! [He exclaims, nearly whimpering.] Oh dear. This is simply dreadful!
[And then someone bumps into him and suddenly Hell really is breaking loose. He turns around to face his assailant, mouth-slack jawed and monocle threatening to pop off of his face the way his eyes bulge at you. Archibald straightens his halo through what must look like psychokinetics.]
Now you see here! [One angry hop toward said assailant, leaning into their business.] I have had about enough of this foolishness! I can tolerate rowdy behavior but I simply must draw the line at bad manners! Apologize!
...Please.
d. WILDCARD
assumed CR encouraged! make it insane please and thank you (i'm at liveralone if you wanna run it by me lmao)
Archibald Asparagus | VeggieTales (yeah) | Heaven-Bound 🥦
[Archibald Asparagus loves a party, he fucks it up at a church ice cream social, and don't even get him started on the discotheque-- but right now he's being a real fuddy-duddy. Far be it for him to say so about God's plan but maybe, just maybe, there's some wiggle room to kvetch about this little mistake here; Abe and Lucy's words NOT HIS! He's elated to have made it to Heaven, don't get him wrong, but did this really have to be on the busiest week of his year? The shooting schedule for the new special is nearly 24/7 at this point and here he is, yucking it up with all of you. Sipping punch, shuffling his-- not feet; his stalk-- wearing a little "HELLO MY NAME IS ARCHIBALD" scribbled in sharpie and laid evenly across his sweater vest. Not feeling much at all like small talk, but he'll give it his best. He always does!]
Excuse me! [A little British voice calls out-- at a reasonable volume, of course. He clears his throat, second-guessing if that was too loud or not.] Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Archibald Asparagus and I enjoy talking about Jesus from time to time! [He leans in and waggles his eyebrows] But I have quite the appreciation for a jukebox musical as well!
b. up and down the produce aisle
[After the initial nerves of arrival are shaken off, Archibald is pleased as punch with this arrangement. Speaking of punch—don’t mind if he does! Ol’ Archie is going to be kicking back with some punch up on Heaven’s finest white-sand beaches (which I'm sure is normal punch with no strange catch), in a gawdy Hawaiian shirt and some sunglasses. Oh, and a little coconut levitating at his side and occasionally floating up toward his mouth in an approximation of what it must be like to have arms. If you were to approach him, he would lower his sunglasses and smile up at you.]
Oh, well hello! Another day in paradise, as it were!
[How neigborly!]
c. have we got a show for you
[Hell on the other hand. As you can imagine, a vegetable who has dedicated his life to being in God's good graces and spreading His word isn't happy here. In fact he looks lost and terrified. Like Snow White running daintily through an evil forest, Archibald Asparagus is stumbling around desperately in search of purchase.]
Oh! [He exclaims, nearly whimpering.] Oh dear. This is simply dreadful!
[And then someone bumps into him and suddenly Hell really is breaking loose. He turns around to face his assailant, mouth-slack jawed and monocle threatening to pop off of his face the way his eyes bulge at you. Archibald straightens his halo through what must look like psychokinetics.]
Now you see here! [One angry hop toward said assailant, leaning into their business.] I have had about enough of this foolishness! I can tolerate rowdy behavior but I simply must draw the line at bad manners! Apologize!
...Please.
d. WILDCARD
assumed CR encouraged! make it insane please and thank you (i'm at