TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[outrageon]

Oh, just the same ol' thing I did alive!

I'm a pop star, you see.

It's a shame you couldn't have heard of me before, but I'm Velvet— of the duo, Velvet and Veneer.

[saltwatertraffy]

[Law watches her display and quirks an eyebrow.]

Yeah, it really is a bit like an unending party, obnoxious and unnecessary.

[He huffs a weary sigh.]

Well, if that’s what you’re into then you’ll probably have a blast.

[hookersandblows]

[ Cue an eyeroll. He's not even fazed by all this, not the least bit intimidated even if he doesn't have Angel to intervene this time. ]

Newsflash, your highness. These aren't your people.

[ He's rolling his shoulders, cracking his knuckles. Just squaring himself off to prepare for another brawl. ]

They may look like your people, but take a look around. This isn't our hell. If anything, you should be fucking PISSED at the fuckwads who thought this poor excuse of hell is ANYTHING compared to what we got back home.

You feeling angry, princesa? You wanna do something about it?

[princess_of_hell]

I am the Princess of Hell, in Hell, and I will decide if they are my people.

[She just holds her ground, for the moment. A fight is what he wants, and she's not going to give him that.]

[succinainteasy]

A lot more. Why would they come to a show if they could just wait for the film to drop? If they wanna see what's under this, they're gonna have to earn it. The ticket price is steep, I'm not one to settle.

[ Why should she? The last time she gave in she got burned, it's the reason the bar is set so impossibly high now. It purposefully roots out the people who are only interested in her fame and money, meaning she chooses her partners rather than the other way around. This isn't strictly for her sexual encounters either. Fool me once. She lets the hand rest on her thigh, leaning in to meet him part way. ]

What's the price? [ Finally paying attention to the hand, she drags the tips of her fingers along the length of her leg until they brush across the back of his hand. Carefully tracing out the shape of each finger, she looks up at him with eyes half-lidded. Her voice comes out as a purr, her fingers continuing to tip toe from his wrist to his forearm and up the length of his sleeve. ]

Are you gonna treat me right? Treat me as sweetly as you treat your other girls? Whisper promises into my ear that you won't be able to keep? Mmm. I'm a lover, not a fighter—are you gonna be my knight in shining armor when shit hits the fan?

[ Just when it looks like she might close the gap to kiss him she pulls back with a laugh, tossing her hair over a shoulder. ]

I'm in.

[succinainteasy]

[ Not long after he looks to her glass, she begins tracing the lip of it with a nail. ]

Ouch. Looks like they let you keep your claws but took your teeth, how am I supposed to look for your tell with that kind of distraction? Hang on—

[ When one of the staff walks by, she leans over in her chair and get his attention rather quickly. She might not be good at cards but she's damn good at pulling attention, the imp is starstruck and seems to hang on her every word. ]

I'll take another, and one for the angel. He's a friend of mine, don't fuck with his drink. Got it? [ Her well-trained smile remains in place until the imp has disappeared into the crowd, then she straightens up in her chair and crosses her legs with a hum. ]

Speaking of, what's the probability that he's gonna listen to me?

[succinainteasy]

Is that a trick question? I'm a lover, not a fighter.

[ And she pays people to fight for her, gosh. No riot is worth screwing up her manicure but, without said people here, she's having to improvise—and she doesn't like it. ]

I don't know if you've noticed but we're in bargain brand Hell, if it's between watching these guys continue their pissing contest or walking with you? No contest. You guys really fucked those angels up, didn't you? I saw the news.

[ Wings twitching behind her, she folds her arms and purses her lips for a moment. ]

So tell me, Princess, what're you gonna do if they show up here looking for revenge?

1/3

[princess_of_hell]

...Uhhhh...

[Give her a moment.]

[princess_of_hell]

We'll... show them all of the sinners who have been redeemed here! --So, your princess better keep up the redemption effort!

3/3

[princess_of_hell]

[Well, now she has the real princess who led that effort and saved all of hell from the extermination smiling at her and offering her hand.]

...You haven't thought about it, have you? It's never too late.

[succinainteasy]

Why not? After what we did, you'd have every right to get even.

[ Of course she is instantly suspicious, fueled by her raging hate boner for Blitzø. But she's also not rushing to apologize for manhandling him in the studio. The likelihood that she will couldn't be any closer to zero than it is now.

Sorry, little guy. Also, what is small talk?]

I take it she isn't here? The wife.

[succinainteasy]

Not a chance.

[ She looks at the hand like it just sprouted a set of teeth, only holding up her own hand to decline. The question does give her pause but not for the reasons one might think. ]

That place couldn't handle me. Besides, I'm Hellborn, I'm not going anywhere.

[succinainteasy]

[ Become her sugar mama, Vel. It's the only correct course of action in this instance. ]

Only the best for us, I wouldn't touch an ugly car with gloves on. Who else could make me look this good but my sugar mama? I'll get back to you on your new pet name.

[ Let them eat cake on social media, just because it's fake Hell doesn't mean they need to settle on being irrelevant. Everyone has a phone here and, judging by the people she's run into, they're as thirsty as the deviants back home. ]

Are you gonna tell me what you've been up to or do I have to beg?

[princess_of_hell]

[She retracts it, with a soft little sigh. The 'Hellborn' revelation makes it not sting as much, at least.]

Well... 'Everyone is hot,' up there... Though, that's hardly a virtuous motivation.

[succinainteasy]

You're kidding me, right? They have dicks and you have holes.

[ Gesturing at him from the top of his head to his feet, clearly flabbergasted that she is even having to explain this. As if explaining to a child she holds up three fingers, dropping them as she rattles off the list of traits to him. Knowing him and Blitzø have a thing going on almost makes her feel bad for him. Almost.

Is he really this naive? ]

Hot, Goetia, Prince. You didn't get shot, stabbed or bludgeoned—need I say more? I could get more graphic if you aren't convinced. What're your thoughts on BDSM and double penetration?

[ Excuse her amused look. ]

[succinainteasy]

Oh? So, you think I'm hot. Are you hitting on me?

[ Okay, she can't resist a little teasing. She could have just walked right past her earlier, but her curiosity got the best of her. So, this was the infamous Princess of Hell, looking like she's about to start crying because she accidentally stepped on a bug. Since she's indulged her question, she is repaying the favor by distracting her in the best way she knows how.

Flirting the pants off of her. ]

I normally don't kiss on the first date.

[princess_of_hell]

No! [She lifts her arms, twisting her body.] No, no, no. [Her hands twist again.] No, thank you!

I'm in a happy committed relationship with my partner. A monogamous one. And... that won't change.

lies, 2/2

[princess_of_hell]

If she was here, I'd gladly introduce you! We love each other. ...Dearly.

[succinainteasy]

[ ... yep, she's just going to laugh.

The reaction was so worth it but it also tells her this girl is going to get absolutely demolished by some of the other inhabitants. If only she was an altruist, surely other people are here that she knows who can babysit. ]

You never know, she could show up. I'm Verosika, by the way.

[princess_of_hell]

[Verosika gets a small confused head tilt at the laughter, but then she brightens up again when she offers her name.]

Nice to meet you Verosika! My name's Charlie! Charlie Morningstar! Daughter of Lucifer and Lilith! Oh, but you know that. I don't need to repeat. Not to you. Anyway, it's great to meet you! I'm really happy to meet someone else. Someone who only knows me from 'the news'. I mean, the TV is only going to show what the Vees want it to show. I'm super, duper excited that you're able to meet me, and see me, for who I am! "Judge for yourself," as they say! Though, if there's one thing the news report got right, it's that ending extermination day through rehabilitation has always been my goal. And when the first mortal soul redeems himself or herself, heaven will want to take him or her in, and beg for more! --I'm big on second chances, that's what I'm trying to say. Or third, or even fourth! So, don't doubt your princess, okay?

[she takes a moment to breathe.]

Oh, but please, just call me Charlie! And, I'll call you Verosika. By the way, I know you said you're hellborn, but if you ever want to sit in on any of the activities I'll be organizing, we'd never turn you away.

[she finally trails off into happy little 'eep' sounds as she tries to suck in excited breaths and nears hyperventilating.]

[succinainteasy]

Aw, too close to home?

So, rather than pick him up, you'd take his spot. That's ice cold, maybe you're better than I thought. If I'm going to have competition here, I at least want them to be worthy of toppling. If you want to get to the top, you have to be ruthless and not be afraid to get some blood under your nails.

So. Tell me, how do the kids of dentists become singers?

[ Boom. Bombshell. Her turn to look at her own nails, buffing them occasionally. ]

Uh-huh, we've met. If you don't want him, maybe I'll see if he wants to become part of my crew. We'll save you a seat at the show.

[succinainteasy]

They must've been hot dentists; you don't see that topside. Usually, they're dirty old men who breathe too loudly or kids who don't know any better.

[ Look, she is more than happy to rev his engine at any time, he is the first person she's come across that not only looks good but also carries himself well. With their power combined they'll be unstoppable. ]

It's a date, Veneer, let's make things interesting..

[ In true watch me work fashion, she untangles their arms and winks at him before wading into the water just far enough for her feet to be covered. Here's where the magic happens, adorable mink! The woman knows all her best angles, so she bends down and scoops up some water with both hands before letting it trickle between her fingers and down across her face. Gravity does the rest of the work by sending the water droplets inching down the curvier lines of her body.

With what little water that remains in her hands, she runs her fingers through her hair and glances over a shoulder before blowing a group of angels playing volleyball a kiss. There's a sharp thunk as the ball hits one of them in the head, causing Verosika to shoot Veneer a smile. ]

Oops.

[bbbrightside]

No, no! It's okay! It's just, you see, that there's so many things I could wish for!

Like, I guess I would wish for something that made my friends happy. Or something like that.

[not_a_possum]

[His eyes narrow and he responds in an icy tone.]

Oh, it's not for your sake. And I am not above getting even. I just don't want to be the one to tell Blitz that there's a horse here he can't ride.

[Okay, sure, he hadn't planned to mention Blitzo's potential disappointment, but he can not let her think he's being nice to her. Besides, with how humiliated she seems, he doubts she'll tell him herself.]

And I don't see why it matters to you whether my wife's here or not.

[grumpface]

That's kinda the point. You ain't supposed to. If I have one to begin with.

[Neener neener. Of COURSE Husk isn't going to let his tell be found so easily. Once done looking at his cards, he places them down on the table and sets a hand firmly down on them, smirking because he was ordered a drink unprompted.]

Your celebrity status don't mean s♠♣♥ here, but you're still a hellborn. And a succubus at that. Chances are pretty damn high.