TDM 003 - SUMMER

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]


A: Garden Level - OOPS YOU DIED
[CONGRATS YOU DIED. Sucks for you!! But Abe and Lucy are DETERMINED to get paperwork done and to do that, they need to get to know YOU.

So as soon as you appear, no matter if you're going to heaven or hell, you get slapped with a "HELLO MY NAME IS ____" sticker by one of the sheep. Said sticker has two possible effects:
-The sticker may say your "True" name or a nickname you don't like, or an alias, etc. How did it get there?? Paperwork. There is a chance it's blank and you can write your own name too.
-Whenever they see a person, they will be compelled to shout "HELLO MY NAME IS [their name] AND I LIKE [something they like.]"

We speed therapying this shit. ]


B: SUMMER HELL
[Whether you're a demon or an angel, eventually you may want to visit the HellRaiser hotel below! Hell is where all the HIP HAPPENING THINGS are after all. Want a lava bath? Go to a club? Gamble?? Just get fucking drunk? Hell's your place.

However, despite being the afterlife, even hell is not immune from the heat of summer. And it's taking the whole flames of hell thing literally. So!

-You might be minding your own business, and suddenly part of your body or clothing just, fucking ignites on fire. Good luck with that!
-You may get badgered by demonic vendors, trying to push various summer t-shirts on you.
-You might get roped into some demons fucking EMBRACING THE HEAT. Ever been tied to a giant fire spit oven an open flame?? YOU HAVE NOW. Maybe someone will help you, or you can handle yourself just fine.

Or you might get lucky and none of that happens and you're just vibing. Good on you!!]


C: Heaven is Central Air Conditioning
[Heaven-side, the heavenly hotel is its normal, luxurious self except for one key different. . .A/C. That's right, only the hotels in Heaven have working air conditioning. Fucked up!! So chilling up here might be the right call. You can always go visit the beach too, or any of the delightful coffee shops. Heaven also is the only place to get caffeine. Wack.

Of course, even heaven is prone to wackiness. Newbies may be prone to:
-Like hell, there are plenty of vendors up here, but instead of cash, today they ask for payment in...jokes? Better give your best one.
-Cherubs may be especially pushy and try to get you dressed in extremely stuffy/heavenly clothing. Enjoy your corsets and such.
-At the beach, if you sun bathe too long without protection, oops! You may find your skin (fur, scales, whatever) turning not red, but another ridiculous color.

OR AGAIN, JUST DO WHATEVER. WHOMST CAN STOP YOU?? You have a phone just text strangers do what you want.]



OOC NOTES:
-"Ash this TDM seems kinda half assed" IT'S SUMMER AND I'M TIRED also with July having no themed event I wanted this TDM to be pretty generic so people can hop in without worrying about timelines!
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open!! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Comments

c. have we got a show for you

[grumpface]

[Hell is one thing. Someone bumping into you in hell is another. The person that bumped into you in hell being an ANGEL of all things should top it all off. An angelic white-and-gold Husk wearing a black top hat, black pants, and a red bow tie turns around, emitting a questioning cat growl, then opening his mouth to instinctively toss out a casual apology.]

...

[Unfortunately, Husk is just staring at you now, looking like he's seen a sentient piece of asparagus talking. Which he just has.]

...What the ♠♣♥♦ are you supposed to be? ♠♣♣♥in' asparagus?

[Husk's voice may indicate that he's so done with this shit.]

[hesbritish]

Why I-- [Angry, impotent sputtering as he tries to get a grip.] Yes I am an asparagus! [He leans in hard and angry every time he enunciates.] And you'll notice that I'm not asking you what you are and why you're here because I know better than to ask rude and silly questions of complete and total strangers!

[So maybe he's a little out of breath from that outburst-- so sue him.]

[grumpface]

[Husk crosses his arms as he looks down at the Asparagus, shrugging a little.]

I don't mind.

[hesbritish]

Oh well... hm... [He's processing it in his not-robot brain. He settles on being a bit standoffish.] Most people do, you know. Vegetables included.

[grumpface]

[Husk huffs a little, taking a couple gulps from the bottle of booze he's got in one of his hands.]

I'm sorry, but it's not like I see somethin' that makes me think my vodka got spiked. Sort of wish it was at the moment. Better than thinkin' that there's a place out there that actually contains sentient talkin' food.

[hesbritish]

And what if there was, hm? [His eye bulges judgmentally at you from behind his monocle.] Perhaps there is a place where you can talk tomatoes and a squash could make you smile, as it were-- would that not be in God's plan?

[TRICK QUESTION!!! HAVE WE GOT A SHOW FOR YOU!!!]

[grumpface]

[Yeah, that judgemental look is now being mirrored back at you, crazy asparagus guy thing.]

And how would you know what's in god's plan? Even the angels ain't havin' any clue what gets people into heaven. And I'm one of them here.

[hesbritish]

[Oh!! Oh he's been waiting for this moment!! Archibald can hardly contain himself but he clears his throat.]

Well now-- ahem-- have you heard of the Bible?

[grumpface]

Back in the hell I'm supposed to be in, I work for Lucifer's and Lillith's daughter, Charlie. A small group of angels are named Exorcists, and was lead by Adam, the first man. I know of some of the other angels in heaven, but with bein' a sinner, I ain't particularly interested in the politics of heaven. I ain't even allowed in any of the other six rings. Only the ring of Pride.

So yeah, I experienced a thing or two from the bible.

[hesbritish]

You don't say! [He laughs and clears his throat. Usually Archibald is the one saying a series of preposterous words that go way over everyone's head! Oh how the tables have turned! If he had died with a pocket bible he'd be flipping through it casually, very "that's not in the script"-type behavior.] Yes, I do recall the seven rings of Heck-- fascinating!

So you're a... [raises his eyebrow and gives Husk a once-over] demon?

[grumpface]

I'm supposed to be one back in my hell. I'm not one in this cheap bootleg copy, obviously. You better get used to bein' here. I've been here for months.

[Husk takes another swig from his bottle of booze.]

And be careful if anyone brings up contracts.

[hesbritish]

Copy? Bootleg-- [Archibald closes his eyes and shakes his head to loosen those sticky thoughts. This whole affair is enough to wrap his head around.] You're making absolutely no sense-- and put that away!

[After he huffs, he straightens himself up.]

Fret not, I never consider contracts without an attorney present.

[grumpface]

Pfft.

[For the first time, Husk is smirking a little.]

Hell usually finds a way around attorneys. Coercion, bribery, some even prefer torture. But there are many that play into your wants and needs, your greed and pride.