heckinooc | TDM 004: BACK TO SCHOOL

TDM 004: BACK TO SCHOOL

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A: Garden Level - Fall IN!
[The garden is full of fruits and overflowing with milk and honey as usual, truly a paradise. But gasp, what's this? A PALLET CHANGE? Instead of the typical lush green, it's taken on more Autumn colors for Aesthetic^TM. It's still pleasantly warm as usual though, for current denizens and newbies alike, and it's gosh darn nice to hang out in.

But speaking of newbies and passerbys! If you pop in, you'll find yourself landing in a pile of colorful leaves. But these ain't no normal leaves!! Depending on the color, you may experience the following:

Yellow- Get energized nerd!! Despite just dying, you're suddenly filled to the brim with joy, and far more amicable to the first people you see.
Orange- Ever heard of love at first sight?? IT'S HAPPENING NOW. You may become absolutely smitten with the first few folks that help you out of your pile.
Red- Or the complete opposite! You're filled with the POWER OF AGGRO and ready to argue or fight with whoever you see first!

Or maybe you fall in a pile of mixed leaves that give you a combo of effects, or nullify the effect so nothing happens! Up to you. ]

B, Hell Level: Spooky Scary Skeletons
[Down at the HellRaiser hotel, it's already practically halloween 24/7, but now even more so! The standard hellish hotel amenities are available--massages, hot saunas, all the booze and drugs you could ever want, room service, etc!

But the perpetual night life is where it's at. In celebration of the most unholy season of the year (citation needed), the clubs are HOPPING and playing music loud enough it could raise the (un)dead. . .literally! You could be walking on your way back from getting a burger, and skeleton or zombie bursts from the ground! They might attack you or. . .try to get you to dance with them. Weird. Either way, don't linger too long, or they'll try to get you to go back further into the depths with them. . .

Alternatively maybe you're just accosted by some normal party demons/imps and dragged into a club. Have fun!]

C, Heaven Level: The Holy Spirit Halloween
[Heaven-side, the heavenly hotel is its normal, pampering self, complete with every luxurious amenity you could imagine. However, it seems some parts of the hotel are decorated with more. . .demonic accents??

It's not just the hotel either. Outside, spot angels in all sorts of costumes, ranging from black cats to silly godzilla rubber suits. That's right, TIS THE SEASON, and it's the only time angels get to indulge in more silly ~sinful~ desires! Is this cultural appropriation?? Don't worry about it.

As for you, if you're not chillin' at a cat cafe or the gorgeous beach or a coffee shop, you may find a cherub stuffing you into a silly costume. When in Rome!! You may also come across huge golden depots full of costumes, so feel free to shop around! The cherubs within will also see to your every need, as if they're extensions of the hotel as well]

OOC NOTES:
-"Ash this TDM seems kinda half assed" i don't have any excuse this time i'm just tired
-This TDM is open to all! You do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open!! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Bear traps, wow, that's one I haven't done.

[Nobunaga is... thoroughly un-fucking fazed because he's a sadist, Klaus is a masochist who freaks out those who kidnap him with being a little too into their torture, and Nobunaga's friends have repeatedly begged him to learn SOME SENSE of privacy since the would-be demon king never had that luxury, and just leaned into freaking people out instead.]

[That said, he's a little lowkey impressed because sure, Klaus regenerates (kind of) and Nobunaga is ridiculously creative, but still it's very rare for someone else to come up with things he hasn't done personally -- and he probably voices a few suggestions of his own including fireballs (the candy) and spices, whips (Nobunaga loves whips, especially given the lack of leather in his time of Japan), ties, and incorporating Klaus' levitation which perhaps Stolas could do in flying.]

And then if you dislocate fingers -- [Nobunaga will even "helpfully" demonstrate just this because it's a trick he uses to escape from cuffs/being kidnapped] -- but you put them back in at the exactly right timing?

[But it does mean Stolas probably WOULD be a little jealous over BJ's being attacked by cleaning -- ] I've got another friend Noi. She regenerates too, and bouncer with Greed. She threatened to throw BJ in the laundry washing machine. [Hand wave hand wave.] If you prefer men, BJ won't be your type, but if you can go either way, just not harpies then Noi is very sweet, but also kind of a bruiser-crusher. She takes people's arms out and beats them with them. [Laughs.] She's huge. Bigger than me. If I wasn't married? I'd definitely consider it. [Because regeneration is his new thing okay. It means he can go all out on this insane shit.] Oh, but you'll definitely get along with Klaus.

There's this book literally called "wholesome living," but Klaus made it all about trying kinky sex things. [AND Nobunaga has NO PROBLEM mentioning the various things he and Klaus did and how it was also a pretty much of "where," because they had roommates on the ship so the two of them would just fuck everywhere they could.] How the hell someone can un-purify THAT? Beats me! [Another happy chirp!] Completely fucked my head up the first few months I was here without them though! I got into this habit that whenever I was annoyed and wanted to behead people or stab things, I'd haul Klaus off and bite them, and here I couldn't even bite Greed without risking it getting into things. [Handwave handwave.]

So, Greed, Nanami Kento, Noi, Klaus, BJ if you're daring, but only so you can see it's ... not something to worry about. Oh and Michael! You should definitely talk to Michael too. [Maybe Charlie and Lucifer if curious about redemption. Definitely Tayrey when Oda can figure out how to ANYTHING, but maybe he should let them do it on their own??? ANYWAY--]

[Nobunaga goes to check his wrist for a set of watches. Weirdly, he started making a habit of it on the ship, since it was the only way for him to have even a tiny bit of sanity and army regularity -- but then he remembers this isn't the ship, even though the bar scene is SERIOUSLY like the ship. So he checks his phone for the time instead.] For now even night owls should get some sleep, and I need to check in with my partner so he doesn't worry. Come on Prince. How steady are you feeling? No lying, I always guard my own.

[Stolas miiight be taking notes on some of those suggestions having to do with candies, spices and whips just to try things that he hasn't done yet. Stolas even watches curiously as he dislocates his fingers.]

Oh I can do one better, twisting your head completely around tends to freak people out.

[He then goes on to demonstrate as only an owl can before righting himself. And...don't ask him about the last time he was kidnapped. He spent most of it antagonizing his captor and ended up with several stab wounds and a broken leg. Unfortunately the wounds were inflicted with angelic weapons so they were a bitch to heal from and he still feels the aches on occasion...

As for his preference though, Stolas looks a little sheepish.]

Sorry to say but, I'm pretty sure I'm only into guys so please, no women? I'm rather sure Stella ruined that completely for me.

[As for how drunk he is, Stolas protests a little at calling it a night.]

It can't be that late! I can still drink some more..

[And yet he's a little wobbly in his chair still and when he goes to stand up, he's pouting because he's not exactly steady.]

I'm feeling fine.

[Yes he's lying.]

Nice! Make sure you show Klaus sometime, he'll love it. [Nobunaga loves it! And is VERY VERY CAREFULLY trying not to imagine things he could do with it. AHhhhhhhh.]

Hey, nothing wrong with that. My emperor, more like my ward, you understand, is completely only into men. And I couldn't be more grateful. Makes handling him way easier. [Noi gets mistaken for a man a lot, but ehhhh... Stolas can find out on his own.]

Up you get~! [Nobunaga carefully picks Stolas up, and onto his shoulders like it's nothing. He usually reserves this for Klaus, but he's been known to do this for a few others. His "oni kidnap" (~~cultural appropriation!!!~~) but it's well-meaning and only with people he loves okay okay!]

One moment~ [He normally doesn't leave tips, but two demon kings (well prince + king, so 1 & 1/2) getting a little verbose is the kind of thing you shouldn't take for granted, especially when you have to set the gold standard (however much Nobunaga insists he's setting the bottom line, he does recognize he's doing better than his contemporaries, just wants everyone to do still better than that!!!) for how you expect others to handle themselves. So a small note too as thanks, and off he goes~!]

How's the view pretty bird?

My father raised hawks for hunting. I was on my 23rd breeding pair. Haguro is gorgeous, black wings, [Hence the name] and wild. He was injured with a broken wing so I took him back with me one time. Now Ieyasu's got my breeding pairs, since I wanted to travel. Ieyasu was rescued by my father too, so it's the one thing we were raised together with.

Anything catches your sights up there, let me know, okay? [Be it threat, or just interest.]

[Next thing Stolas knows, He's being picked up and placed on Oda's shoulder. And well, bird boy really doesn't weigh much. He's a skinny thing that's pretty much feathers and bones. How he's managing this with an eight foot tall owl with Stolas's legs...

Somehow it works and he's not sure what to think of the view.. or moving around right now. Though his attention did turn to the talk of raising hawks.]

I think.. I might have some cousins who are hawks. Most of the Goetia are bird demons..

[He rubs his tired eyes and groans after a moment.]

Just.. never mention peacocks please. My brother-in-law is one and he's an asshole. [A moment later...] The view isn't bad.

[Klaus is taller than him too! Nobunaga knows what he's doing.]

Makes sense.

Hah. You got it. I was never much a fan of them anyway. They're a pain in the ass in my hell. They think they're dragon and phoenix offspring, you know?

That sounds like Andrealphus. I wouldn't put it past that icy bitch to think of himself that way.

[Stolas groans and rubs his eyes...well, at least the main set anyway.]

You know, he's beneath me in the hierarchy of the Goetia but, father chose HIS SISTER to marry me. Why? I have no idea what my father was thinking! I get my job is important and I needed an heir but, why her? Why her of all the Goetia Demons in Hell did it have to be her!?

[Money, politics, looks.] Tell me more about your daughter.

My father was human, my mother is a demon. She went after my father, completely decided she wanted him, snuck into his bed, and then arranged for him to become a daimyo after all. She knew he would have a very tough time with the other demon kings and royalty, but he was a genius at battle strategies and proved himself already in wars against the Mongols.

Saitou Dosan underestimated his children, and definitely his nephew. I don't miss Kichou, but I got the better part of the bargain in keeping Mitsuhide. My kitsune left hand is the smartest genius of our time. Kichou's a genius too, but luckily it's languages and economics, and economics is my father's forte, and foreign languages is my own knack. So even though I failed in my studies as a child, that's the few things I can still handle well enough on my own. But Saitou Dosan meant for them to assassinate me. I don't know how your demon kings are, but mine were always like that.

[He perks up when asked to talk more about his daughter. It's pretty obvious that she's a point of pride for him.]

She's the best owlet a father could ask for! Thankfully she took a little more after me in looks than her mother, but, She's smart, a bit negative and morbid, but, I'm sure she'll grow out of that eventually.

My little starfire has been interested in the stars since she was little so, I'm sure that if she ever takes over my duties that she will do wonderfully. She's already started to study magic and I an quite happy that she's learned quite a bit already.

[He smiles and puffs out his chest a little. Stolas really is proud of his daughter.]

[A lot like Lucifer.]

[Goth, or just morose? Or maybe it's a phase? It's not like Nobuanga would know. He's never had kids -- part of why he gets so touched that Stolas and Lucifer openly gush about theirs. It's... impossible in his Hell. Truly thoroughly IMPOSSIBLE even for the demon king who was DOING the impossible. HAS DONE the impossible. Moved Japan out of the crossroads of Hell, and into Earth proper, exiled magic, the works. And yet... If he had a child, he could risk dividing his country all over again like England. Which apparently... wasn't??? Ugh European history is weird.]

[But there's a definite tiny inner pang over the nickname. Starfire. That's so perfect. He called Tayrey his Starlight. It's a weird feeling with them at odds now.]

[He smiles happily too.]

You sound like a good father too.

[But he definitely can't see what might be in there for why Stolas' father would have picked Stella. Politics? It's hard to see when he's SO far removed from it all.]

It's almost funny. For all that the religions of my Hell talk about the Celestial realm as a real place and stars, no one even tries to study them. They're too scared to go out in the dark where they think demons might lurk around every corner and swallow them whole. It's so opposite. They focus so hard on digging deeper and deeper holes into the ground while saying they want the opposite: to climb past mountains and trees and into the skies themselves, but never set up the means to do it.

[Only almost though, because it kills him a little inside.]

I sincerely hope so. I've tried to give Octavia the best childhood I could, even if it did mean staying with Stella until now. But, she's seventeen now so I hope she can handle the divorce better at this age than if she were younger.

[He really, really hopes so.]

Hm..Well, they're missing out on a whole lot by not studying the stars! I've seen some beautiful meteor showers and amazing galaxies in my time studying it! It's why I have such unlimited access to the human world.

[He tilts back a little, just peering up at the sky at this point and hopefully won't fall off..]

There are things beyond the stars humans aren't meant to see. So maybe they were right to fear the demons in the dark. Some of the things I've seen could drive a human mad.

[Nobunaga tosses a wry grin over his shoulder at Stolas.] You're not like most demon royalty in either of our Hells, I'm sure I don't need to tell you. [Back forward.] I could never do that. Stay with someone else for any reasons other than my own. Another reason I can't be a father I suppose. Fuck. Most demon kings treat their children as -- pawns. Low value for game numeric point chess pieces. Potentially useful, but individually? Only if manipulated by the board as a whole. Another thing I always hated about chess, the hierarchy. I greatly prefer Go, where everyone is equal and equally monumental.

What's a meteor shower? [Why has NO ONE TOLD HIM About these words before?! His two best friends are an astronaut and Spacer damn it!?]

Oh believe me... I know. [Snorts.] I've been there. Often. [Reaches a hand up to scritch the side of Stolas' neck and top of the head kind of like a cross between Haguro and Klaus.] It's all crossroads. My Hell was Japan in crossroads. The far east of the world, as you know, demons able to cross the barriers at twilight. I took my madness and used it to pull us out of hell, but it cost a lot to do it. Fear can't save the country, and a person trapped by it isn't free either.

[He's so tempted to mention Tayrey, the closest he ever had to a daughter, (not counting Oichi who he basically raised when his father died and he had to exile their mother) a spacer, an *L-Spacer* astrogator. But he's not sure if he should. It's painful right now, but that's on him to get over, isn't it? Maybe he can tell her first. Let her decide.]

So what if there's demons? There's ways to deal with them too. [Ah, the good old impossibly large ambition surpassing all of humanity, the dream to have humanity surpass gods, of course demons were included with it.] Don't underestimate how disturbing humans can be either. Sometimes madness is a greater gift than fear can ever be.

Ha! You just described my father in a nutshell! Nutshell.. what a funny thing to say! How can you fit anything in a shell that small??

[Whether he preferred Chess or Go would really depend on if he's ever taught to play Go. And he's right. Stolas really isn't like the other nobles in his Hell or any other as far as he's aware.

And before Stolas could go on a tangent about meteors, their composition and how pretty they look burning up in the atmosphere, Oda had to go and scritch his neck. Stolas seemingly melts at the touch and make happy owl noises. He is going to be SOO EMBARRASSED later when he's sober.]

I see disturbing Human shit all the time. Sinners are literally the worst of the worst as far as humans go.

[He huffs and miiight be wanting more of those scritches tyvm.]

And don't even get me started on what they do to summon me to the mortal plane! Human sacrifices! Honestly! An invite and a promise of cake would be better than being splattered with blood and entrails! And it's always around Halloween..The barrier between realms is thinner but... seriously! Candy! It's RIGHT THERE.

[Nobunaga chuckles too. Truly relatable! And no worries Stolas, Nobunaga's got you covered with pretending forever it didn't happen. Of course, he usually has to maintain the typical demon king super evil reputation so he can get away with it, but he's definitely known to be ridiculous with those he likes!]

Sure. I'm not messing with Alastor... but he's still got nothing on my time period. [Hence why Nobunaga calls it hell. Then again the lunatic is all for cannibalism, so his sensibilities are not to be deemed a high bar by any stretch.]

Human candy is the greatest invention they've ever made, even more than space travel. That was what Klaus and I did for our wedding. All candy themed, everything decorated with giant candy canes and lollipops, just piles of candy, and ridiculous colors. One day I want to see Candy Land for real. And fight them as they try to eat me.

Too unimaginative. That's the worst some people can think of, and they don't even try to be their best, just give up without trying. Someday though, they'll get there. But that's why I say I'm the floor. So they have to do better than me. You can't tunnel through this kind of floor without literally doing better, so they start trying to build up instead. Path of least resistance and economic efficiency. How much that works? No idea. Sometimes more than I expect.

I want hell to have its own candy, way better than heaven can ever do, because heaven is for workaholics who don't have fun. So we should have all the fun, and make them jealous. Or at least make them have to work harder, even though that's what they really want. So it's doing them a favor, just they can't see it until it's done.

Alastor...that name sounds familiar but I don't know where.

[Then again, Stolas doesn't really deal with Overlords and Sinners often so, he might have heard the name in passing??? Maybe. His attention goes back to Candy before he really can think about it.]

A candy wedding?? That sounds a lot more fun that the grandios, stuffy affair that my own wedding was. It was all for showing off my family's wealth. It's not every day a Goetian Prince gets married.

[He might be a little jealous about Nobunaga getting a candy wedding. Just a little.]

I think Hell candy would be very spicy. Like...cinnamon spicy like..like those little heart candies that you find on cookies!

Radio guy.

[Oda hears that about the stuffy wedding. That's what he thought they were all like!] Right? I assumed they were all like that. But Klaus was a cult leader before, so he can officiate his own weddings, and did his brother's, so I asked what ours would look like. And I was constantly throwing him surprise parties for his sobriety markers, so he wanted to do that one for me. I was pretty surprised! [Laughs, and he's all giddy.] You could probably do another one sometime. Just the way you want it.

Yeah exactly! That's my favorite! There's these cinnamon spicy candies called fireballs! I also like cotton candy and pop rocks though. It's like swallowing fireworks.

Radio...? Nope, Still don't recognize the name!

[He's still pouting over Oda having such a fun wedding even if it had been a surprise by his significant other. That's just adorable and he wishes Blitzy would do something like that for him..

...Or anyone really. Stolas makes a soft, distressed owl noise when it's mentioned that he might be able to have another wedding his way sometime.]

Doubt it.. would need someone to marry first.

[He huffs and doubts that will ever happen again.]

Oh! I do like cotton candy. I love how sweet it is and how it melts in your mouh! Not sure about poprocks... don't think I've ever had those before.

[Shrug.] Don't worry about it.

Give it time. You never know. Klaus was like that. That's why I wanted to. To prove someone would, could, and did.

Yeah, exactly! Oh fuck, you gotta try it! Another demon got me trying Dr. Pepper Peeps. They're so fucking weird. But that place has got to have pop rocks too. I hate relying on heaven for anything, but there's this thing where you can electric shock the soil to prime it with nutrients, so even without sun we can make our own sugar and tea, and stop relying on Heaven for anything, and outdo them in this too!

I don't think Blitzy is the marrying type.

[At least, that's the impression that he has. Stolas would be happy just to know he means something to the Imp in question and that he's willing to be with him. But, even that Stolas is unsure of...

His mood seems to tank pretty quickly and even the talk of candy doesn't seem to be distracting him from his sudden funk.]

That's nice...maybe we can play with that sometime. Hell doesn't usually rely on Heaven for anything back home.

[Nobunaga struggles to imagine that too but...]

Then make it happen under your own power. I don't mean just kidnap him [Tempting as Nobunaga makes that sound with how he "kidnaps" Klaus constantly.] Figure out what's the obstacles and obliterate them. And when you're stuck, find people who can help with that too. [Always trying to encourage ambition even on the most inane things...]

Good. They shouldn't. I mean, I know that's because you couldn't, but it's here's not that different, just you don't have to and they use it to act superior while not doing much to earn it. [Then again, they are doing the things Nobunaga desperately wants more of... so good!]

Ugh...Kidnapping. Don't get me started on how annoying that is! Especially when it ends up with you stabbed...with angelic weapons and a broken leg.

[More distressed Owl noises. He might.. not be completely listening in his drunken state.]

Heaven is stuck up! Like.. Superior. Yeah, that's right. Like..Like my father when he's around anyone without money. He's super obnoxious and insulting.

You've been kidnapped too, huh? I assume they think your father would pay? Tch... in my Hell, they don't even kidnap me for that. They know they can get more money working for me than anyone else. [Demon King after all.] It's just politics. If they kill me straight away, they know they'll get killed before they can get away, so sometimes it's trying to get near to port first, other times it's politics, it never works well.

[And then he's distant again, thinking of Tayrey.]

Hah! Annoying. I heard Hell's royalty was a little similar in yours to mine. But if that's the case, you're still like me. [Well... only a little. Since Stolas was more like Klaus with the masochism/regeneration and rich debutante thing. And hadn't waged a war to get rid of the classes or upend the castes to make it more meritocratic.]

Edited 2024-09-05 02:10 (UTC)

Hardly! My wife paid the asshole to kidnap, torture and kill me because she's still pissed I had the NERVE to have an affair with an Imp! She's such a bitch and not very smart. When I die, she gets nothing! Via gets everything cause she's my heir.

[There have been many MANY unsuccessful attempts where they might have thought of making his father pay for his return...but, usually Stolas can handle those himself. His garden always needs a new statue or two...

Striker was just the exception to the normal attempts.]

At least I'm like somebody. No one's like me.. or even likes me back home.

Definitely a bitch. And not a smart one.

You have contingency plans for Octavia, right? It wouldn't be easy for your ex to manipulate your daughter or guilt her? Or... the rest. [There's only so delicate one can be mentioning such things.]

Tch.... [#Relatable.] Tell me about it... Well there's a reason I'm never going back.

I promise you, Klaus will adore you. And I like you. Well, I've always been a little narcissistic. [SCRITCHES THE GIANT SAD BIRDIE!!!!] How would you feel about changing Hell around a little here and there? [Maybe a lot. Because Nobunaga is incapable of doing small.]

She was never smart. Just.. empty headed! Too concerned with status and and .. PARTIES. So many PARTIES! She threw one for our anniversary just called 'Not Divorced Party'. But.. I got her back. I told her we are getting the divorce the very next day!

[Scritches mean soft little hoots from the sad bird.]

Via..via will be fine. She's stronger than she looks and..as much as I don't like the idea, Father will make sure she's ready to take over my duties. Duties come first because Hell forbid there's no one to interpret the stars for them!

[HUFFHUFF.]

Really? Only one to ever adore me is Via and. and Blitzy! But I don't know if he really does or if it's just my book! [He starts sounding distressed again.] I-if it means I can do what I want.. maybe?

Ew. I can't trust people who like parties that much. [... He says like he trust people ever.] I mean success parties of "yay we all came back alive" [Except the ones who didn't that get etched onto his FUCKING SOUL and bind him] are really important. But the parties for no reasons, or parties because rich people don't know how to use resources to fund their world and improve it so just chase a quick drug fix? That I can't stand. I liked Sharky & Klaus' parties though. [And constantly surprised Klaus with parties, but that was much more "yay we all died, and we're STILL HERE" which is uh... a mess.]

Yeah, I get it. I had to train my two successors too. And keep it secret until I basically finished so no one would think to kill them instead of me. It made the assassination attempts a little funnier. Because Hideyoshi isn't royal-born. So those who would execute me for wanting to undo the castes, will just get an actual farmer and outcast as their ruler instead. Morons.

[Nobunaga DOES NOT have an owl neck.]

[He does, however, know birds and Klaus VERY WELL and maneuvers Stolas enough to kiss the top of their head, and scritch that too.] Yeah buddy, I promise.

That's the plan! [He looks upwards like he can see where he wants to go. He can't from here, in Hell, but--]

The stars. I'm going to make Hell stable enough. So big, so grand, so stable that I can leave again. I'll find the best people to take care of it. Who love it, who don't undervalue it or want it to go to waste just because they can't imagine it getting better. And then I'm out of here, under my own power. I can't rely on Heaven for anything. [Maybe Yato, but it's fine, he's also a wolf in sheep clothing. A dark calamity God.] I want it to be so much fun no one views Hell as a punishment ever again. It's just a different style. And that way, even Heaven has to do better. If they want to be seen as the best, they have to earn it. They'll have to constantly keep working to outdo me, because they'll have to have even more pride, even more diligence, even more stubbornness, or else they'll have to concede I win.

[Glowing red eyes back on Stolas.] What do you think, Prince?

TDM 004: BACK TO SCHOOL

extreme (but mostly vague) BDSM talk because these two are destiny or something insane

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Cw: candy vore???? I guess????

Re: Cw: candy vore???? I guess????

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