heckinooc | TDM 004: BACK TO SCHOOL

TDM 004: BACK TO SCHOOL

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A: Garden Level - Fall IN!
[The garden is full of fruits and overflowing with milk and honey as usual, truly a paradise. But gasp, what's this? A PALLET CHANGE? Instead of the typical lush green, it's taken on more Autumn colors for Aesthetic^TM. It's still pleasantly warm as usual though, for current denizens and newbies alike, and it's gosh darn nice to hang out in.

But speaking of newbies and passerbys! If you pop in, you'll find yourself landing in a pile of colorful leaves. But these ain't no normal leaves!! Depending on the color, you may experience the following:

Yellow- Get energized nerd!! Despite just dying, you're suddenly filled to the brim with joy, and far more amicable to the first people you see.
Orange- Ever heard of love at first sight?? IT'S HAPPENING NOW. You may become absolutely smitten with the first few folks that help you out of your pile.
Red- Or the complete opposite! You're filled with the POWER OF AGGRO and ready to argue or fight with whoever you see first!

Or maybe you fall in a pile of mixed leaves that give you a combo of effects, or nullify the effect so nothing happens! Up to you. ]

B, Hell Level: Spooky Scary Skeletons
[Down at the HellRaiser hotel, it's already practically halloween 24/7, but now even more so! The standard hellish hotel amenities are available--massages, hot saunas, all the booze and drugs you could ever want, room service, etc!

But the perpetual night life is where it's at. In celebration of the most unholy season of the year (citation needed), the clubs are HOPPING and playing music loud enough it could raise the (un)dead. . .literally! You could be walking on your way back from getting a burger, and skeleton or zombie bursts from the ground! They might attack you or. . .try to get you to dance with them. Weird. Either way, don't linger too long, or they'll try to get you to go back further into the depths with them. . .

Alternatively maybe you're just accosted by some normal party demons/imps and dragged into a club. Have fun!]

C, Heaven Level: The Holy Spirit Halloween
[Heaven-side, the heavenly hotel is its normal, pampering self, complete with every luxurious amenity you could imagine. However, it seems some parts of the hotel are decorated with more. . .demonic accents??

It's not just the hotel either. Outside, spot angels in all sorts of costumes, ranging from black cats to silly godzilla rubber suits. That's right, TIS THE SEASON, and it's the only time angels get to indulge in more silly ~sinful~ desires! Is this cultural appropriation?? Don't worry about it.

As for you, if you're not chillin' at a cat cafe or the gorgeous beach or a coffee shop, you may find a cherub stuffing you into a silly costume. When in Rome!! You may also come across huge golden depots full of costumes, so feel free to shop around! The cherubs within will also see to your every need, as if they're extensions of the hotel as well]

OOC NOTES:
-"Ash this TDM seems kinda half assed" i don't have any excuse this time i'm just tired
-This TDM is open to all! You do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open!! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

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Klaus looks insulted for a minute. "We could have been sexy partners fighting evil together and I could have gotten to eat my food!" There's a pout there even as he pushes the zombies back again with telekinesis. Their gaze settles on the burger on the floor.

"See if I let you be sexy with me now."

"Awwww babe!" all the whining protest! "I'll get you another. And a strawberry milkshake. I couldn't help it, you were so gorgeous, I didn't want to end it too fast. Please?" a small pout.

Klaus frowns even more. "NO! NO SEXY FIGHTS ANYMORE! And you still have to give me new food and a milkshake."

"Haaaaai. What if we get attacked along the way or coming back? Want a ride, or is that banned too?"

Nope still cute! Like a tiger playing with a pumpkin. A grumpy tiger mad at the humans for seeing him fall out of the tree.

Klaus continues pouting, arms crossed over their chest. "Burger and shake first." And then they'll make a decision. They are fully prepared to not be useful.

"Okay okay Princess. I'll be your regal bodyguard!" he's getting into it, dashingly letting the cape unfurl and once again dual wielding, gun in one hand, katana in the the other as he starts the forward march (????) to White Castle or whatever. He's tempted to ask how the burger was before the zombies ruined it, but maybe that's adding fuel to the fire? THEN AGAIN SINCE WHEN DOES THE DEMON KING HOLD BACK?

"How was the burger anyway? Any good?"

Nobunaga is insanely picky after all.

"Thank you. I am a princess. And you're a terrible knight." Said with as much petulance as they can muster. There's a part of them that is considering just eating the burger off the ground, but that's what having a husband is for: getting you new burgers.

Klaus follows after his husband, still looking disappointed. "It was so good. I don't get why people think meat should only be in Hell. That's so dumb." That conversation with Tayrey has definitely stuck in his brain.

"Yes!" He's fine with this. How can he be a good knight if that's not a fucking thing in his hell or Japan??? Please. But Oda's having fun pretending all the same. Do not eat off the ground Klaus, he will definitely get you more ffs.

"Ah." Nobunaga loves Tayrey. It's not his Tayrey. But it's still Tayrey. His feelings are complicated, confused, and this was the kind of thing he wished to express, but she doubles down on her culture and who is Nobunaga to say that's wrong when he more than triples down on his culture -- the difference being he doesn't express moral / values judgements even if he can't stand the heaven vibes... well no there was one thing. "I hate coffee so much I'm glad it's stuck in Heaven."

Wait for it, there's a reason behind this non sequitur, though can he even begin to explain it?? "Do you want a shoulders ride?" That sounds lewder than he meant for public -- though it's hell so no one really cares.

"She loves coffee. I don't know. She..." he loves her. It's so complicated. And it hurts. And he can't untangle it. "You know how I hate slavery. More than anything else I can think of. And Americans get really touchy about it, no offense." For understandable reasons. If Japan's civil war had been over it, Nobunaga expected all of Japan would be that way too. Ironically what with conquering and religion being the reasons for Japan's civil wars, both those tend to be why Japan gets touchy(ish?) about those in the future.

"Some things I know. Tirva, tyranny, military -- sure. Easy to follow. Meat is just --" SIGH. "There is no meat allowed in my hell normally. It's banned socially by the castes and religious traditions. In practicality, people hunt, because you must, but livestock, dairy, chickens, cows, sheep, leather, all of this does not truly exist in my Hell the way Earth in my time has it, or your future in America certainly does. It takes so much more land, plant food, and water to raise meat than just... rice. Vegetables. I have heard from foreign traders, western religions even believe eating meat makes you violent. Aggressive. Like the difference between bears that eat plants or when they eat meat -- or fish. Some religious monks believe that it's cannibalism, because we could all be reincarnated as animals, and either they don't want to be like the untouchables themselves, or they think it's their kindness, morality." A quiet hum.

"Space can't afford animals. And she's never had any pets. None at all. Horses, giant rats, hawks, tigers, not a thing in space. Every plant is precisely accounted for. All nutrition is math. Eating for luxury is not a thing with her world - I do not mean planet, I mean sector of whatever universe and that part of their timeline. I can explain about luxuries. She's a merchant, that she gets. So even though it's more expensive in resource to make sake, costs more rice, costs more labor, more time, more everything, it also is the only way to make it valuable enough for trade overseas, and we can get back more in food than we use for making it. But convincing people around me that it could work, would work, was worth even trying so they could see in practice, was a fool's errand only an idiot demon king with extreme arrogant stubbornness would ever attempt."

He puffs a cheek out the side. "Honestly it strikes me as odd that heaven has meat too." He just laughs. "I know it's not there because heaven is literally raising cattle up there in their tiny pocket. So are there farmers? Are the meat sapient? Are they reincarnated hellbound? But it's the magic thing. Both hers and my brains can't ignore the physical realities about it, because cargo space is such a big deal for her spaceships, and for me, trying to change the world so that my lands wouldn't starve. I would eat only meat if I thought it would make me stronger." A beat. "Okay, that's a lie. Also konpeito. No. All candy." Where was he? "So obviously I don't have a problem with meat, but she's not going to smack it out of your hands. She just--" SIGHS and pinches the bridge between his eyes. "She's culture shocked, and can't express it and obviously I know what that's like, because at least I'm halfway from Earth, but so far removed everything I expect isn't what happens and --"

SIGH! "Everyone thinks she is like what they know. I know a fuck ton of religious zealots who are militantly against meat consumption, and would force children to starve rather than let them eat meat. Tayrey isn't telling anyone else what to do with themselves, that's a big value of hers, what she gave me a speech about, but there's no right way for her to say to an Earther, 'Wow that's incredibly revolting and barbaric! Your whole planet should be quarantined in case you spread your disgusting sociopathic mores,' that isn't incredibly offensive. Even if she carefully waters it down to "No one in any place I trade with would ever eat flesh of anything that was once derived from an animal," it still sounds judgmental even if she's just at a loss for the correct words to express what she means. You should meet Megumin though. Her vegetables are stronger than all the meat-animals. And she will eat anything that won't poison her."

"Tayrey did try to water the sentiment down so it didn't seem like a morality thing. But even saying 'it seems weird, like eating mud' still sounds incredibly... cold?" See? His vocabulary isn't always there either, and Nobunaga is probably the most chatterbox person Klaus knows! "And at a point, she and I just stop trying to explain, because it is either understood, or not. And whatever we say will likely confuse others more."

It still hurt though. At least... Nobunaga wanted to be understood so desperately that when he wasn't, when he couldn't figure out how to explain his MEANING because the words became obstacles not bridges, he could not feel more alone or lost in a world all his own that no one could join even when he tried to build them paths and ways to reach him there. He didn't, DOESN'T want her to compromise herself, but there's a difference between that and just being open to understanding others and not pushing them away because you deemed them unworthy. Maybe they were unworthy. So what? It's part of her value that you couldn't decide what was best for another person, right?

"You said she's just less reliant on me here. Obviously, you're correct. But I'm still... scared(?) worried maybe? For her because... she's going to get hurt like this. I want to help her. And Greed's like, 'just ask what she wants.' But no, that's not the fucking problem. She doesn't like pain." Nobuanga doesn't quite say she's not as strong as Klaus. Out loud. In public, but in some ways.... no, IN ALL WAYS, he's thinking it. "Watching her get hurt when I can't help hurts me worse than anything coming at me directly." And it does hurt. He's seen her get hurt defending him, defending her morals, fighting against a mob, as Klaus knew.

A shrug. "She can manage a lot of things better than I can. Certainly better than I can help her with. Those aren't the times that worry me obviously. It's the others. Things like this. I can't MAKE her understand, and I don't want to try. I only want to give her the opportunity so she can do with it as she wants. And yes, like --" HUFF and runs a hand back through his hair. "How do I make that viable when--?" He squeezes red eyes shut a moment. "It's as you said. The difference in her relying on me. She doesn't now. So maybe I should just.... wait?" A head tilt. "But if she could protect me from it... I'd want her to." He looks up at the sunless sky of Hell. "Maybe it's that I'm still relying on her more than I should or need."

Klaus made a face as Nobuanga went on a very long conversation. For once they just want to be irrational and complain and not get any advice about it. They understand and can get why Nobunaga is talking about things. It's just that they don't feel like listening, so they don't. Which is probably just him being petulant about losing food...again. "Those are a lot of words and no. I don't want a shoulder ride."

They want to walk on their own for once. "Do they have good shakes here?"

Nobunaga just goes quiet then.

"I don't know." He hasn't tried them. Life without Klaus is less colorful and exciting, and he hadn't even felt much like trying the various candies. Just focused back on his vision for the future. "Guess we'll find out." He quietly gets three or four burgers though and a couple of shakes. And then smacks his forehead and gets fries too.

He really wonders what it's all made of, but probably 'm a g i c' or something.

Klaus seems a lot happier once the food comes out and settles next to Nobunaga. Maybe the hangry and the upset that they were is starting to cool off and they're casually pretending it's fine.

"Surprised you haven't eaten all the things here already. It's been three months!" Klaus would have eaten a lot of bad stuff and had to fight against the desire to self destruct. But that was just the way of things.

"...........Sorry."

"Don't be," Nobunaga cheerfully steals Klaus' hand to hold. Ah! So lewd! In public!!!

"The choice was mine," he is assuming the apology was for Nobunaga not trying all the foods ever. Because of course everyone can read his mind, right? "I tried pop-sickles," literally says it like the weapon, "But Akechi made it sound like it might have poisons. So I got a bit more leery than I was on the ship. And being back in Hell reminds me of the starvation fears, so until I can ensure soil enhancements, pride -- my own pride, not Lucifer the person -- got in my way."

And Nobunaga impishly steals a sip of Klaus' shake! Fufufu. Indirect kiss!

There's a moment when Klaus squints at the response before just letting it go. The hand holding makes them smile a bit. They know just how big of a deal it is. In public, too.

"I'm confused why I would assume Lucifer the person, but I got you. Also popsicles aren't poisoned. Usually. They just are cold and sugary." Unless there was something weird with them that made people feel something abnormal or something. "I'd say maybe he said that to keep you from eating more sugar, but that would be Hideyoshi more than Mitsuhide..."

There's a soft, "Hey!" As their drink is sipped from. "Rude."

"Oh, because Greed, and I'm trying not to have an army for those two," a groan, "And I don't want anyone else confusing me for Lucifer. It's hard because -- well, I don't have to explain it to you," Nobuanga smiles to their spouse. It was hard because Nobunaga wants to the fun parts of his evil reputation, and he's not used to EVER sharing... anything. Territory, power, dreams, ambition, it's all either his way, or don't expect to survive the chaos and Hell.

And laughs. "Yeah that's the monkey, not the fox usually. Sometimes Akechi tries to be like the mother hen, but he can't keep it up long term." A cheeky smirk about the drink, and Nobunaga slides his own to Klaus' side. "Love you."

"Because you always call yourself the demon king?" Klaus snorts softly. "But if you were talking about Pride as a person, I would assume you meant the sin. Since you said Greed was a person, so that's one of the sins. But now I gotta wonder if the Virtues are also people." Not that Klaus remembers what the virtues are exactly. Society likes to talk about sins instead. Weirdly.

Klaus rolls their eyes before taking sip of Nobunaga's drink to make up for it. "Hush. You still left me to fight alone! So rude!"

"Well, there's Lust." Nobunaga shrugs. "I only know the demon side." So virtues are a mystery to him. "Is Michael one of them? Because Lust has like... 3 names. They prefer gender neutral like Ozzie, like you."

Nobunaga can't help but grin impishly. "But I wanted to see you do your best. And I knew you could handle it. I didn't leave you at all. I stayed nearby to intervene if you got overwhelmed. I thought if I just rushed in and tossed you my cloak you might get mad at me for underestimating you when I know better?" Nobunaga kisses their cheek! "You were very cool and sexy and I didn't want to steal your fun." He should learn to say sorry. "I am sorry about your burger though." A nod to the others. "This make up for it?"

"So Lust is here, too? Huh." But Klaus is gonna keep that in mind. Ozzie and Lust prefer gender neutral. He doesn't mind male-gendered, but he also likes the gender neutral more.

They pout slightly. "But we could have been fighting together in a cool and sexy way that meant I didn't lose my burger." Said as he messily eats his new burger. Mostly in that he has stuff all over his hands...and maybe on his shirt. "I guess it does."

Ozzie is Lust. And same for him. Not Lust like Greed's sibling. That's Envy. See where this gets wild already?

Nobunaga gently kisses Klaus' cheek, and then licks some sauce off. "I promise you, there will almost definitely be more chances for that. And if I knew you wanted it, I would have taken the chance right away, but you've always fought separate from me, so that's what I thought you preferred, I'm sorry. I want to sexy fight back to back with you. Next time, okay?"

Klaus stills as his cheek is licked. This is something that most people would feel weird about in public, but not Nobunaga. It was hand holding and dancing that would be embarrassing for their husband.

"But like that's cause we get separated when we're fighting...which isn't fair." Cause like they could be like Rick and Evie in The Mummy. Not that he knows who would be who in that pair. Klaus is not smart enough to be a librarian. He also doesn't like books that much. But he's not...exactly Rick either.

It doesn't matter.

"Promise?"

"It isn't." But Nobunaga also greatly worried about treating his spouse like a weapon that way, the deepest promise he made them pre- marriage vows. If Klaus wants this however, then so does Nobunaga!

Klaus is definitely smart enough to be a librarian and archeologist! And would very sexily fight with two knives in a filmy lingerie. He should make sure Nobunaga gets to see the movie.

"Hai. I promise." And Nobunaga offers Klaus a pinkie finger to promise with! "Entwine our red threads of fate." To explain the gesture, but as dramatically as fucking possible.

Choosing to be their own weapon was one of the things that Klaus took on well enough. They didn't like being used as a weapon by someone else, but if they were their own weapon, that was fine. They could be their own weapon while fighting with someone. Especially since Nobunaga is someone that they trust.

"Good." They take their husband's pinkie finger with their own. "They're already entwined, you weirdo." But he laughs all the same. Klaus really doesn't know what he'd do without Nobunaga most days. Logical brain knows he could figure it out, but emotional brain isn't so sure.

Fortunately, that is exactly what Nobunaga took it to mean. That Klaus trusts him, and wants to direct himself for as much chaos as willed, not that Klaus wants to be a pacifist, nor necessarily prove he can fight alone, which he already knows, but doesn't want to.

"Good. Then let's entangle them further so no one can separate them, like having sex." Nobunaga gives Klaus a hard tug, and an even harder kiss. Ah yes, Klaus' stupid Demon King husband who thinks holding hands is more intimate than sex.

Unfortunately he knows exactly what he would do without Klaus, and he hates it. Klaus makes everything better. Like candy.

Klaus laughs, shaking his head slightly before they kiss. It's not surprising when your husband has a weird understanding of intimacy. Or at least a different one. Tayrey's understanding is also different, but they are getting used to the idea. "Well, I think we should probably take that to our rooms. Or like...at least not in a public place where we could get attacked by zombies."

Cause nothing's worse than being mid sex and having to run, most likely naked, through Hell because a zombie tried to bite someone's ass. It's probably safer to be somewhere less open.

"Right, yes," a quiet hum. "Michael and the others keep begging me to learn a sense of privacy." This too, is a struggle since obviously he never had it as Fool of Owari or Demon King ruler of Japan.

"We could probably kill zombies at the same time as sex, couldnt we?" See this is what they meant. Alas.

"I'm surprised how well bullets work on them. It seems like the kind of thing that wouldn't." How he can hold both trains of thought simultaneously is better left unanswered.

Klaus snorts softly. "Yes. Well, you know things are different here. On the ship, it was a matter of finding the easiest way around it. I haven't figured out this place yet." So it's harder to know where they can go without it being a problem. "But that does seem like a thing people ask."

There's a blank stare at the question. "No. I'm pretty sure it's an either or situation, babe."

And Klaus isn't trying to fuck while shooting at zombies anyway. "It's a zombie thing. To the head and they're out."

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