TDM 006: OUT WITH THE OLD

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]


A, Garden Level - Ice Breakers--Literally!
[It's winter in the Garden of Good and Evil. . .but still a beautiful garden! Despite the snow and frost, all the fruits are ripe and delicious, and any flowers peaking through the snow are fragrant and bright. However, any new souls showing up, temporary or permanent, may stumble upon some patches of ice. . .in fact, they're ice floats!

If you're lucky you may just raise an eyebrow and easily jump back to solid ground, easy-peezy. But if you're UNLUCKY, the ice float grows and expands, trapping you on the float. . .until some frost appears on the ice.

Break the Ice with some conversation!

That's right, the ice won't break until you strike up a convo with someone else! The ice is nearly see through, so you can easily catch the attention of passerbys, or maybe someone else trapped on an ice float! Any convo is fair game, and eventually your ice prison will melt away.

That aside, explore the garden or the other levels! And maybe see if your form has changed a bit.]


B, Heaven or Hell - On the Spot!
[While you're here, you're free to explore the cities in either heaven or hell! There's a light powdery snow that sprinkles over the Heavenly gates, emphasizing the sparkling gold and white architecture of the landscape. Coffee shops and bakeries may lure you in with the aroma of warm treats, or cute animals for you to cuddle up and pet. Or maybe you just want to be pampered at the hotel--it's swanky as hell! And speaking of hell, while it's MUCH colder down there (hell freezing over and all that), it's still lively as ever. New Years parties will be popping off all month, and bars offer endless shots for first time visitors! There's something for everyone.

Also in both areas there are an abundance of hot springs right now. What's that about?? Don't worry about it.

What you SHOULD worry about are the sheep-like imps or cherubs that descend upon you suddenly, poking a mic in your face!

If you're in Heaven, a cherub asks: We're polling our temporary guests! Do you think those in hell are SCUM who DESERVE TO BURN FOR ALL ETERNITY or like, nah?

If you're in Hell, an imp asks: We're polling our temporary assholes! Do think think Heaven is full of holier than thou HYPOCRITICAL PRICKS that deserve a holy GUILLOTINE to humble their asses??

Also: your answer is broadcasted! Or the mic just makes your answer echo out, so anyone is free to badger or agree with you back. Or a cherub/imp steals your issued phone and sends your answer as a mass text. THEY ARE SLIPPERY.

Of course, you can just walk away. You're trying to enjoy your afterlife, dangit!]

C, Wildcard
[Bring your own prompts here!!]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! You do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-This will be the TDM for Jan/Feb, but you're free to use old ones if you prefer, or make your own prompts!
-As a reminder, THIRD CHARACTER APPS are now street legal!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open!! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current or new potential players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish! It's optional! You can do a whole thread and then decide it's not canon if you want!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Comments

Blitzø | Helluva Boss

[blitzno]

I

While normally Blitzø would be all over talking to new people, he's cold, and he fucking hates the cold, and being trapped on an ice float is making him flash back to some very unpleasant penguin interactions and he is generally NOT ABOUT IT.

So instead of trying to just talk to someone like a normal person he's trying to chip away at the ice with a knife. It's... not very effective. "Ugh, Satan fucking dammit!" He hurls the knife at the wall and slumps against the wall, then veers away from it with a hiss, tail sticking straight up. "I hate the cold! This is such bullshit!"

II

Blitzø has not stopped hating the cold despite being no longer trapped in ice, and now hell is frozen over which is the BIGGEST BULLSHIT OF THEM ALL. Heaven has snow still, but at least it's not as cold.

More importantly, among the cuddly animals available, he's found a pony. His tail lashes back and forth excitedly. This is officially the greatest day of his life. After an appropriate amount of time cooing over how beautiful she is and how much he loves her, he settles down and starts braiding her mane.

"I'm gonna call you Staple Gun. A perfect horse name for a perfect horse."

When a cherub catches up to him and asks about people in hell deserving to burn, he smiles wickedly, sharp teeth gleaming. "I really think you should try."

He isn't expecting his words to echo around the way they do, but fuck it. He stands by them.

...for real, though. At least then he'd be WARM.

III

Heaven gets lame after a while even though his new best friend Staple Gun is there. So it's back to hell, which feels way more like home. Especially once he finds one of those bars with endless shots. Those help warm him right up. It's not long before he hits the dance floor and the press of bodies helps warm him up even more.

"DANCE WITH ME, BITCH!" he yells over the music when he finds a promising partner. He snags their arm and starts to pull them onto the dance floor.

II lmfao

[ahew_kha]

Oh good grief, of course there's got to be some sort of drama in Heaven and Hell at this point and she's huffing out a breath when she hears this newest broadcast. Does she agree with any of it? Of course not, Heaven and Hell is still a weird concept for her given how ancient Egypt tended to work in general. So, well, hopefully the imp isn't going to be too bothered.

Bothered by what? The fact that there is a 5'9" woman casually making her way over, wrapped up in a light blue jacket that only shows her draconic wings tucked to her back, the tail swaying behind her, the scales that peak out from just under the collar of her jacket, and the stupid-ass halo. Once she's there she's going to just casually scoop him up from the cherub with a smile with a hint of fang showing. "How about we don't threaten our guests, hm?~" Her tone is soft and seemingly sweet if one doesn't pay attention to the clear threatening undertone of it all.

Sorry, Blitzø, you're going to have to deal with the weird dragon lady for a little bit.

[blitzno]

He isn't sure what he's expecting, but an... angel? Dragon? Dragon angel? Picking him up like he's nothing is not it. He flails and hisses like a cat, trying to simultaneously wriggle out of her grip and also turn and bite her or scratch her, tail angrily lashing from side to side. It's not a very coordinated counter attack.

"Hey, fuck off, bitch, that was barely a threat."

[ahew_kha]

Dragon angel is close enough. Luckily she's... sort of familiar with how cats work given she's seen too many of them in her short life to not know how all of that goes. And his flailing and hissing isn't too much of a big deal and probably not the best that his scratching and biting actually gets him to hit scales that... are not the most pleasant to be hitting with either of those things.

"Do you want them to leave or not?" She manages to hiss back at him, how she's not slipping into her native tongue while doing this is anyone's guess. Though she's certainly letting him scratch and bite at the blue-white scales that are covering her arms. It's fine, she's fine, don't worry about it.

[blitzno]

This is getting him nowhere. Time for Plan B. He stops struggling and instead shoots her a sly smirk. "Why, trying to get me alone? I didn't realize this was that sort of pick up. Okay, I can get behind this... Mommy."

[ahew_kha]

A pick up? Mommy? That might work on other people, but it's just utterly confusing to her instead, such is the perks of being from a time before those words were really a think. And she's immediately furrowing her brow at him with a frown, but also not letting him go for the moment.

"Why would I want to get you alone?" All the anger in her voice, the annoyance, is entirely gone to pure confusion instead. Barking up the entirely wrong tree, Blitz, sorry about that.

[blitzno]

The Cherub gets it. The Cherub is hightailing it out of here immediately before this demon can scar their pure innocent angel mind.

Blitzø gives her a flat look cause wow, usually that gets some sort of reaction, at least. "For fucking," he says, tone dry. "You know, sex?" He makes a ring with the fingers of one hand and pokes the finger of his other hand through it. "Is that... not a thing people do up here?"

[ahew_kha]

At first the "fucking" comment doesn't seem to quite parse, but sex seems to and she just rolls her eyes instead. "Not something I got to do before I died, unfortunately." Though she is absolutely going to let him down, but she's being nice about it and making sure he gets his feet on the ground before letting him go properly. "From what I've been told, the last time I was alive was... considered "ancient" compared to most of the other people here."

[blitzno]

He takes several steps away once he's on the ground, still eyeing her warily. She doesn't seem to intend harm, but that doesn't mean he's gonna go around trusting her.

"And you haven't tried it out now that you're dead? Wow, Heaven is boring." It's a good thing there's no risk of Blitzø ever ending up there permanently.

II

[begaydocrimes]

Dude, Staple Gun is such a sweet ass name for a pony!

[Here comes a cat person with tiny devil wings and two little horns sticking out of her skull. Mae seems in great spirits despite the freezing cold.]

I think I saw a goat earlier! I wanted to take him home.

[blitzno]

Thanks, I've been brainstorming good horse names since I was a kid. And also pony names.

[Congrats, Mae, you're officially Blitzø's favorite. Besides Staple Gun, of course.]

...don't let a goat into your house. Those little shits are worse than any demon I've fought, fucked, or been.

[begaydocrimes]

I have a friend who named a possum "Rabies" because it's the thing all possums are afraid of, but I don't think that would make a good pony name. Since ponies can't get rabies.

[.... Can they??]

Wait, really? But they're so cute! Well, except for their eyes. But it's not like they can help that.

[blitzno]

Rabies... is that like hellbies?

[He doesn't pay attention to Earth diseases there are too many of them and he can't actually use them for assassinations.]

If you think "cute" means "not capable of grisly murder" then I have a bunch of friends you should hope never to meet in a darkened alley at night.

[begaydocrimes]

Maybe? I don't know what hellbies are but they sound similar.

...

Are you implying that you have cute murder friends??

[blitzno]

I mean, I am an assassin. If I didn't have any cute murder friends, I'd be pretty lonely.

[begaydocrimes]

Really?? So you like kill people for your job?

I never killed anyone. [She pauses.] -I mean on purpose. I did hospitalized a kid when I was in school though.

[blitzno]

Nice. We all gotta start somewhere!

[He flashes her an encouraging thumbs up.]

Yeah, and I run my own business. IMP--Immediate Murder Professionals. Wanna hear the jingle?

[begaydocrimes]

Oh uh - sure! Let's hear it!

[Should she be worried?

She should probably be worried.

...

She's not gonna worry about it.]

[blitzno]

[ He starts to sing, wiggling his fingers like he's conducting an imaginary orchestra. ]

When you want somebody gone and you don't want to wait too long
Call the Immediate Murder Professionals
Hand grenade or cyanide, we'll make it look like suicide
The Immediate Murder Professionals
We do our job so well because we come straight up from Hell
We'll kill your husband or your wife, we'll even let you keep the knife
We're the Immediate Murder Professionals!

[begaydocrimes]

Damn, that's pretty good! So you just like, kill people and get away with it? I mean I guess you do because it's Hell and all.

[She wonders if it's bad that she's become more desensitized to this kinda stuff since she landed herself in Hell.]

Question - do you only kill people's exes or do you like, know how to kill bigger stuff. Like maybe a cosmic horror?

I

[astrogator]

A young woman with a blue military uniform, a futuristic energy pistol clipped to her belt and a shiny silver halo above her head has taken notice of him. She doesn't have the excuse of being a newcomer, but she's logically-minded, and she wants to help.

'I can try to melt it?' she offers, genuine concern in her eyes. Tayrey once led an expedition to an ice planet, and while she can't say for certain if angels and demons can suffer from hypothermia, she doesn't want to take any chances. She steps closer, pulling her warm wool coat around her.

'You'd have to stay very still,' she cautions him. Going from freezing to burning probably wouldn't be much fun.

[blitzno]

"Eh, go nuts. Earth fire can't hurt me." Though he's not actually sure if that's what this woman is using. Not least because she's yet another angel, and he's pretty sure heavenly fire would sting like a bitch.

III.

[admonish]

What in the world? It isn’t enough that he is grabbed without warning, but it happens to be by someone who left this place recently. He places a hand against his chest to stop him, giving him a calculating glance.

“I will, but I’m going to ask you to refrain from making any sexual innuendos until the dance is over. You may not remember me, but I remember you, Blitzø. My name is Michael.”

Not that ever adhered to using to using it before, plus he thinks his stipulations might be a big ask for someone like him. Nonetheless, he lets himself get pulled along and, once they have found their own little spot on the floor, he offers him his hand to take.

“If the terms are acceptable, lead the way.” If Blitzø has ever seen Lucifer before, Michael and him are nearly identical save for his angelic nature and more muscular frame. To make it easier to move, he lets all six wings disappear behind him but the halo remains.

Why is an angel in Hell, in a bar? No worries, he asks himself that constantly.

[blitzno]

...Blitzø is too drunk for this.

He's pretty sure he'd be too drunk for this even if he was completely sober. He stands there blinking at Michael as he tries to process exactly what's going on. The idea that someone remembers him that he doesn't remember isn't that surprising--he doesn't give enough fucks to remember most people--though he's pretty sure he'd remember meeting an angel. On the other hand, he was just almost executed on live TV. Who's to say how many people know him that he hasn't even met?

And also negotiating a dance like it's a business contract makes it immediately less fun.

"So what, I can make as many as I want after the dance?"