TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[youbeautifulidiot]

[Veneer claps in turn, because if there's one thing he loves, it's approval. Yaay, she liked his idea.]

If there's one thing everyone loves, it's sooo seeing their name slapped on anything. He'll love it. Just...when you give it to him, tell him I helped? I like to feel included.

[prodigalgun]

[Fearless was pretty content to ignore it— it's not his place to get into other people's business when he isn't asked. But then Seras looked his way, and, well, that's an invitation.

So Fearless starts sauntering her way in his black suit, far-too-long tail slithering beh—]

Oh, shit—

[Oh man. That guy's face is IN the pavement. Fearless can't help but laugh incredulously.

Well, that's hot. Does this chick actually need help?]

You keep doin' that and you might leave a mark.

[outrageon]

[Okay seriously— people act like Vel and Ven are weird, but this guy has a TV for a face?

...Okay it's kind of cool in a freaky way, definitely giving Style, but Velvet looks him up and down, assessing him apprehensively. ]

Velvet. As in, of Velvet and Veneer.

[wow they're both so good at talking like the other should already know who they are!!]

[visualgags]

Hey! Watch the merchandise, wise guy!

[ he flicks his tail out of the other juice's hand, still looking down at him, then seems to consider. ]

Though... It does mean you have pretty good taste...

[princess_of_hell]

Sure! In fact, why don't you actually help? You can do one half, I'll do the other!

[bugbeverage]

Of course I have good taste, I'm me! Who the hell'r you, wiseguy?

[ He doesn't have a tail to lash but his wings DO get poofy. ]

[darlingdraculina]

Yes!! All of that!

[This guy looks kinda how she ended up, right? Fuzzy-faced like some kind of cartoon or toy animal… But like, prettier. Shinier.]

You must be an angel, right? Or something like that?

[Since demons aren’t typically pretty and shiny after all…]

[bbbrightside]

[!]

Sure! [The light never leaves her eyes, but it's a bit more vibrant now.] Gosh, I've never been friends with a real princess before. You're really the princess of this place?

[darlingdraculina]

…beautiful!

[Her long tail whips behind her excitedly as she circles the angel, enamored with her being. She’s just like what she imagined angels to look like…]

Your wings are just incredible! They’re so big! And look so soft…

[Sorry Tiffa, but she’s struggling to restrain her desire to pet them… That look on her face says “please please pleeease let me pet them!!” Luckily she’s keeping her hands busy by gripping her plate for dear life.]

[youbeautifulidiot]

What gave it away~?

[Yeeessss, he loves this, and he makes sure to give a little twirl just to show off his wings. And halo. ...And tail, even if it's not exactly an angelic trait. But look at it, it's so long and luxurious, how can he not?]

Nice, right? Y'know, they say these changes are based on your soul or whatever, so I must've done something right.

[Or just got really, really lucky.]

I mean...look at you! You're not that much different from me, so we probably have a lot in common. ...buuuut definitely not a mink, either. ...Well, whatever, I'm sure it just means you like a different coffee than me, no biggie.

[youbeautifulidiot]

Ooh!! Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah!! Ohho, you are going to LOSE your mind, I bet I can find all sorts of expensive looking beads in Heaven!!

[darlingdraculina]

[Oh no, this one is so small…

Is she a child? An angel child? Or a cherub perhaps? She can’t say she really understands how this all works… She only paid so much attention in Bible Study, okay-

Either way, it kinda makes her… sad to consider how this one may have gotten here, even if she’s an angel!]

You’re so precious— [Wait that’s a weird thing to say to a stranger, isn’t it? Why has she been so talkative today? And saying the strangest things!]

I— I mean, you’re just… so cute! [Stop!!] Like a little doll! [Quit saying weird things!!]

[darlingdraculina]

[Growling, she rips the guy’s head up by the hair to get a good look at him. …She’s pretty sure he was already missing that tooth before she made him eat cement.]

Good! He needs to learn to keep his feelers to himself!

[Releasing his hair, his head drops back to the ground as she settles her weight on his back to keep him from running off just yet.]

So, will the police really do nothin’ around here, or was he just sayin’ that to try an’ throw me off?

[prodigalgun]

I don't know about you, but, uh, I wouldn't wanna find out.

[He stalks up to the guy, taking a good look. God, he wasn't sold on this not-looking-human thing, but there's something about this cute little...

...what is she, actually? He's not sure, but she's like some plush toy, taking down a guy like that.

His tail swishes like a cat's as he squats down.]

Now, are you breathing enough to tell the nice lady "sorry?"

[darlingdraculina]

[Blinks those big gold and blue eyes up at him as he spins, his words echoing in her mind.

It seems that awe has become mild distress.]

Wait… our souls? Really?

[She glances back at her wings— fleshy like a bat, bony… nowhere near as luxurious as his. What did she do to deserve this?]

Th-then why am I—?

[youbeautifulidiot]

Hm?

[Then why is she what? How would he know? He barely knows math.]

[darlingdraculina]

Eat shit, pretty boy—

[Before he can finish, she’s popped him in the back of the head again.]

That doesn’t sound very much like “sorry”! [Huff huff.]

Well I ain’t apologizin’ to some dumb broad-!!

[prodigalgun]

[Fearless sucks in a sympathetic breath through his teeth, shaking his head.

Shouldn'ta done that.

He stands up straight and circles around Seras and her target with a lazy stride, clicking his tongue.]

I keep forgetting we've gone back to the stone age.

[Doesn't the toe of his shoe look so pretty poised over this guy's nuts? It must be so shiny, pressing down against them.]

I don't really wanna be here all day, was kinda hopin' to go get a drink, so, the sooner you get your words right the better.

[princess_of_hell]

That's even more perfect! Half from hell, half from heaven! Together in harmony...

[Her eyes are welling again.]

[darlingdraculina]

[She watches the dragon as he slithers so smoothly around them, brows furrowing curiously. What is he… gonna do?

But then he’s got his foot between the guy’s legs, and those big blue and gold eyes widen into saucers.]

Oh— right to business then, huh.

[Flinches with the fly-guy’s sudden screech, but doesn’t make any move to get off of him yet. She frowns, whipping her head back around to face him.]

Well! You heard the man!

Agh— y-you dirty bitch—

[princess_of_hell]

You are now!

[she nods.] Dad and Mom loved humanity, and wanted to give them the knowledge of good and evil... but, Heaven didn't approve, so they sent them as far away from Heaven as they could, then punished them by sending him all the souls of the people in the world who abused the knowledge and chose evil. --That's why I want to help demons redeem themselves. To show even if people made mistakes in life, and live in bad circumstances in Hell, they still have good inside them.

...But, it is hell. So, you really have to look.

[prodigalgun]

[Fearless sucks his teeth.

He swishes side to side, looking around. Well, if no one's really gonna do anything...

Fearless presses his foot down harder, driving the heel of his shoe in.]

Hey. Watch your language.

Doesn't sound like an apology to me.

[darkweb]

Hmmm...

[Ah. This situation seems even worse, when this is supposed to be the place this stranger is from, and yet it's clearly not. Taranza imagines if Heaven, the knock-off moralistic version of Floralia, actually claimed to be Floralia, even without any trace of its history or former queen... Ugh. It feels dirty even to think about.

He keeps most of that mental tangent to himself. What he actually says is:]

I guess that's worth triggering the censorship so much, if it's like that. Sorry you got stuck here.

[darlingdraculina]

[Again the creature shrieks, his arms and legs flailing, trying to drag himself away. Unfortunately for him, Seras is pretty solid. He’s not going anywhere.]

Rrraagh!! Fuck, fine! Okay, shit, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, fuckin’ call’im off!!

[Seras grins proudly, crossing her arms beneath her chest.]

That’s more like it~

[prodigalgun]

[Fearless relieves the poor guy's nuts, keeping an eye out. He offers Seras a hand to help her up, mindful— but making sure it looks like all his attention is on Seras.]

There we go.

Hope he wasn't too much of a problem for you, miss.