TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

Seras Victoria | Hellsing Ultimate | A Bat out of Hell

[darlingdraculina]

[A]

Oh, wow…

[This big-eyed bat girl is suddenly hovering near and admiring your whole look! From incredible horns to your majestic wings to the tip of your tail, Seras finds herself in awe of all the strange visages of those that have arrived in the garden alongside her. Aaand after taking a bite of one of those weird pies earlier, she’s apparently having no trouble at all letting others know how that makes her feel!

Oh, no.]

You’re so…

[B]

((CW: Implied nonconsensual touching.))

[You just witnessed this chick practically suplex a gross bug man onto the sidewalk and then wrestle him into a headlock! If you were around a few moments prior to that, you saw what he did to deserve it. Some people should really keep their way-too-many nasty hands to themselves!

When she realizes she’s caught someone’s attention, she calls to them with a polite (but firm) request:]

Excuse me, d’you happen to know where the nearest police station is? I’ve got this sticky-handed pervert here-

[The grody fly demon bursts into laughter.]

We’re in hell, toots. You think the cops give a shit?

[Sneering, she slams his head into the pavement and grinds his face into the sidewalk.]

Fine, I guess I’ll have t’take care of you myself-

[Somebody should probably stop her. …Or cheer her on? Help her kick his ass? Yanno, whatever the powers that be compels you to do.]

A

[youbeautifulidiot]

[Having been a famous person, Veneer isn't unused to people just...staring at him like a weirdo. He almost seems to revel in it...]

Fluffy? Adorable? Stunning? Stylish? Heh, yeah I am.

[He's so used to being the hype man, so this is kind of nice. More compliments, please.]

[darlingdraculina]

Yes!! All of that!

[This guy looks kinda how she ended up, right? Fuzzy-faced like some kind of cartoon or toy animal… But like, prettier. Shinier.]

You must be an angel, right? Or something like that?

[Since demons aren’t typically pretty and shiny after all…]

[youbeautifulidiot]

What gave it away~?

[Yeeessss, he loves this, and he makes sure to give a little twirl just to show off his wings. And halo. ...And tail, even if it's not exactly an angelic trait. But look at it, it's so long and luxurious, how can he not?]

Nice, right? Y'know, they say these changes are based on your soul or whatever, so I must've done something right.

[Or just got really, really lucky.]

I mean...look at you! You're not that much different from me, so we probably have a lot in common. ...buuuut definitely not a mink, either. ...Well, whatever, I'm sure it just means you like a different coffee than me, no biggie.

[darlingdraculina]

[Blinks those big gold and blue eyes up at him as he spins, his words echoing in her mind.

It seems that awe has become mild distress.]

Wait… our souls? Really?

[She glances back at her wings— fleshy like a bat, bony… nowhere near as luxurious as his. What did she do to deserve this?]

Th-then why am I—?

A

[anatani_chikarawo]

...oh?

[ What a cute bat girl. The state of the post-apocalyptic world she's from has, tragically, left her underexposed to cute anthro characters, but the furries here are so exciting and have her endlessly curious.

Tiffa herself, however, is more of a classic angel; slender, white-feathered wings form an X behind her, and her halo emits rising strands of glowing moonlight.

Hopefully that doesn't keep her from sleeping. ]

[darlingdraculina]

…beautiful!

[Her long tail whips behind her excitedly as she circles the angel, enamored with her being. She’s just like what she imagined angels to look like…]

Your wings are just incredible! They’re so big! And look so soft…

[Sorry Tiffa, but she’s struggling to restrain her desire to pet them… That look on her face says “please please pleeease let me pet them!!” Luckily she’s keeping her hands busy by gripping her plate for dear life.]

[anatani_chikarawo]

[ Tiffa gasps, and blushes softly. This is a lot of sudden positive attention - it's not unwelcome at least.

Her wings move slowly and awkwardly, tensely, as Seras circles. ]

I... can't easily reach them.

[ So, she's not sure how soft they are. It's kind of a weak answer, she feels - and it invites the cute bat lady trying to touch her. ]

[darlingdraculina]

Oh— I guess you can’t, huh?

[Her smile is apologetic, like it’s her fault this poor girl can’t reach her own wings. But still, she hovers near, beginning to reach out to pet them.]

O-oh! Sorry— [Pulling her hand away and gripping her wrist behind her back.]

May I? Touch them, I mean.

A

[bbbrightside]

-Oh!

[My, you are a big bat. Nothing like the meager Scaredy Ruby knew. Had the little angel girl done something to earn this woman's attention?]

Yes?

[darlingdraculina]

[Oh no, this one is so small…

Is she a child? An angel child? Or a cherub perhaps? She can’t say she really understands how this all works… She only paid so much attention in Bible Study, okay-

Either way, it kinda makes her… sad to consider how this one may have gotten here, even if she’s an angel!]

You’re so precious— [Wait that’s a weird thing to say to a stranger, isn’t it? Why has she been so talkative today? And saying the strangest things!]

I— I mean, you’re just… so cute! [Stop!!] Like a little doll! [Quit saying weird things!!]

[bbbrightside]

[She's indeed small. And something of an angel if the wings and halo are to be believed at least. No second pair of eyes right now though. The main ones are big enough as is.]

R-really? You think so? [She's not put off. Far from it! Instead, she does a lil curtsy.] D'aww, thank you! It's not the first time someone's told me that.

[darlingdraculina]

Of course I do!

[She giggles, relieved that she didn’t make it weird. Crouching down to be at this sweet little thing’s level, she wraps her arms around her knees and smiles with a tilt of her head.]

And of course you have. I bet you get it all the time, yeah?

[Extending a hand in greeting.]

I’m Seras, by the way! What’s your name?

[prodigalgun]

[Fearless was pretty content to ignore it— it's not his place to get into other people's business when he isn't asked. But then Seras looked his way, and, well, that's an invitation.

So Fearless starts sauntering her way in his black suit, far-too-long tail slithering beh—]

Oh, shit—

[Oh man. That guy's face is IN the pavement. Fearless can't help but laugh incredulously.

Well, that's hot. Does this chick actually need help?]

You keep doin' that and you might leave a mark.

[darlingdraculina]

[Growling, she rips the guy’s head up by the hair to get a good look at him. …She’s pretty sure he was already missing that tooth before she made him eat cement.]

Good! He needs to learn to keep his feelers to himself!

[Releasing his hair, his head drops back to the ground as she settles her weight on his back to keep him from running off just yet.]

So, will the police really do nothin’ around here, or was he just sayin’ that to try an’ throw me off?

[prodigalgun]

I don't know about you, but, uh, I wouldn't wanna find out.

[He stalks up to the guy, taking a good look. God, he wasn't sold on this not-looking-human thing, but there's something about this cute little...

...what is she, actually? He's not sure, but she's like some plush toy, taking down a guy like that.

His tail swishes like a cat's as he squats down.]

Now, are you breathing enough to tell the nice lady "sorry?"

[darlingdraculina]

Eat shit, pretty boy—

[Before he can finish, she’s popped him in the back of the head again.]

That doesn’t sound very much like “sorry”! [Huff huff.]

Well I ain’t apologizin’ to some dumb broad-!!

B for BOOBS

[orkin]

Hehehehehe! Get the bugs, kill them so they can't make a mess!

[ There is a triumphant squeal from somewhere behind Seras before she finds herself plus one tiny Sinner, who takes the opportunity to scurry up along her back and drape herself over her shoulder like a mentally unstable parrot. The whole thing is done quite casually, like the two of them are the best of buddies and this happens all the time. ]

His hands won't be sticky anymore if we cut them off!

[ Looking at her like.. can we please? ]

[darlingdraculina]

[Seras shudders at the feeling of tiny hands and feet skittering up her back, her eyes widening and body briefly going still in shock. This is a brand new and decidedly distressing sensation and frankly it’s taking everything in her not to toss this tiny person into space.

At least this one seems to be on her side in this altercation?? And maybe even perhaps a kid, since she’s so small… But jeez what a suggestion either way.]

W-well, I wasn’t going to go that far… [Even if it would be satisfying to know this guy couldn’t go around groping folks anymore…]

C-can’t we just lock’im up somewhere for a while?

[orkin]

[ The fact that Seras keeps composure is impressive, she has already been backhanded off of someone's shoulder here and it delighted her, so she might be a tad disappointed. Just a smidge.

The knife that she produces from her apron probably won't help her case much. ]

Why not? Bad boys need to be taught a lesson!

[ Niffty meets her gaze for a moment, her eye squinting a bit as if she's actually thinking about it before she shrugs. ] 'kay! He can go! But if he does it again, I can fix him!

[ As if on perfect cue, she swivels her eye back in his direction. Her pupil dilates and her smile becomes downright terrifying. ] Run, bad boy! Or else!

➥ B

[nestingdevil]

[Where Heaven may have its good, its rights, and all-around sunshine, Hell's got the opposite. It's the grime of the world given a place to stick to. And with it, comes all the ugliness that it brings: the twisted, the violent, the sick, and those that have a real hard time taking no for an answer.]

[Greed isn't shocked when he stumbles across someone putting a demon right in his place.]

Oi, oi, oi - [The Sin's tone drops down into his chest. He's no better than the rest of them, true enough. But even he has standards, and considering what the woman is saying, the pieces of the story he missed out on all fall into place. The fly extended his hand too far and got a face full of pavement in return.] - think you should probably apologize to the lady, don't you?

[And now, he's close. A little too close in fact. The Sin circles around the scene, the steel cuts of his heels snapping and pinging off the pavement like spent tin from a gun.] Sorry sweetheart, but I don't really think they've got much of the law down here.

[Doesn't mean that others can't enforce their own justice though, right? Greed's tail twitches on the pavement - the spikes at the end unfolding to rattle slow, slow, slow.] Looks like you got a handle on the whole thing, but - [He trails off while he lifts one toe up to try to wedge it under the fly's gnarly chin.]

- think this one could give you a bit more for your trouble, hmn?

[darlingdraculina]

[It seems both she and the fly demon are somewhat… apprehensive about the slithering sinner that has begun to circle them, but at least it seems he’s taking Seras’s side here.]

Ha— [She sits back, the fly too preoccupied with the talons threatening his face to make a move.]

I was just thinkin’ I’d just tie’im to a street lamp and start handin’ out rotten tomatoes or somethin’. Y’know, like that old fashioned public shaming stuff.

I take it you might have a better idea?

[nestingdevil]

[If he's noticed the change in attitude towards him, he doesn't show it. Instead, the Sin falls violently down into a crouch; his attention fully trained on the fly.] Not a bad idea, lovely. Not a bad idea at all. And while I think a whole lotta people would get a kick out of it, I don't know if it's enough to stop him next time. Isn't that right, friend?

[Greed's tail chimes in for him, opening up and buzzing like a flower with needles to share. He lets his hands sink between the spread of his knees.] Got something in mind. Killing him would be a waste - [His voice hisses through his teeth.] - but there's a local I know that just may be interested in having a chat.

[Only one comes to mind. One cold, cruel, and particularly ready to sink some sense into someone both physically and emotionally.] I can bring him there, if you want. [The smile on his face is all razors and sharp points.] Or you can come along with me. Seems to me you're the type of gal who can handle herself.

[He looks back up at her and his sunglasses shine bright with a streak of lamplight.] What's your name?

a

[livalil]

[ small child here, with horns and a forked tail! waving shyly. because she is very pretty and looking at him ]

Um... hello...

A

[tequila_sunset]

This one is strange, large and made of thick dark writhing tentacles in the shape of a person. With only an old fashioned trench coat to cover its bulky body. The sleeves end in hands, or at the very least gloves. A blank eyeless mask covers where the humanoid silhouette suggests a face, lesser tendrils forming a kind of ‘hairdo’ that undulates like its feeling the air. A living mullet.

When it hears Seras’ voice it’s whole mass flinches and curls in on itself, the hands and tendrils working together to grip at the mask, pressing it harder against whatever is behind it.

“Fuck…I know it’s bad. It’s really bad.”

The voice is muffled but clearly warbly with a sense of shame.