TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[outrageon]

[During Verosika's verse, Velvet does her best not to show much of a reaction, but those big ol' eyes of hers make it easy to read her admiration. There's something about the way Verosika moves that Velvet can't look away from, that makes her jealous and awe-struck all at once. She bites the inside of her cheek to keep her expression from changing too much. What's so pretty about some girl-shaped imp anyway? That... is all Verosika is, right? Some kind of regular demon popstar?

Velvet's eyes narrow at that last line— but she forces a yawn, eyes shut tight as Verosika's tongue graces her teeth. Time to show off.]

Oh! I'm sorry, did you say something?
I couldn't hear all that mumbling
over the sound of my own perfection
I'm distracted by the reflection
of myself in your eyes!
I'm not competing; I am the prize
When you're as expensive as me
it don't matter that nothing is free
cos I've got the budget, baby!

[She walks backward as she sings, to give herself more room to dance— a spin and a twirl on her high heels. At her final spin, she simply turns a full circle around at the hips, her bottom half turning independent of the top. Velvet smiles wide at Verosika, batting her lashes challengingly.]

[technicaldifficulties]

Of course.
I'm re-building an empire.
But I'm sure we can work something out...
Tea?
Sure, tea's fine.
I'll even let you pick the place.

[ so he can feel ~safe. ]

[technicaldifficulties]

[ he snaps his fingers to summon a business card. ] And I imagine that retirement is going to get real boring real quick. Just... think about it. It's not like we have to set anything up now. It just kind of sounded like you were interested in going in a different direction. Something new and exciting... [ but he's not going to force the issue. ] Keep the card. Call me if you change your mind.

Heh, you'd think, ...

But this is a new hell, and it seems like not everybody's crossed over, so to speak. Apparently my companions have been here since the start of this craziness, so I'm a little late to the party.

[hookersandblows]

[ There's a chuckle as he faces Vox, his fingers lightly trailing over the bottom of his screen to tip it up slowly with the smallest purr. ]

Not to mention you're here now... Maybe I'll find some other way to distract myself, no...?

[ He's an easy bug to please. ]

You wanted to see the new place? Still getting work done so I'm still slumming it back at the hotel.

[deerlisteners]

[he hands her the bloodied baseball bat (for protection!) and places the flyers inside his jacket. Time for a stroll!

Thankfully they're not far from Al's newly acquired radio station -- an older but classy art deco building. There's definitely some sort of charm on the building, because the doors and windows swirl with Alastor's glowing green symbols.

He opens the door and allows Charlie in first. The building looks to be in a state of renovation, with two of Alastor's bulkier shadow minions moving things around]

My office is the first door on the left, darling. We'll have quiet and privacy in there.

[technicaldifficulties]

For fun, hah, ...he's not going to be able to make it on fun. Maybe he'll change his tune [ heh, get it. ] once he sees how much fame you've accumulated.

[technicaldifficulties]

I wouldn't know. [ sometimes having a tv for a face has its perks. ] ...yeah. [ vox grumbles under his breath, because, while that makes sense, he still hates it. val does tend to get fixated, and he doesn't feel like dealing with another explosive outburst, but that also means sharing, and he hates having to fucken share him. ]

...several, fine, whatever, and maybe we can off Angel Dust while we're at it too. [ fuck that guy in particular. ] But you've got a point. We need a new empire, and that includes having tens of hundreds of minions under our control.

[dj_dedf1sh]

[ They nod at the "Disc-Jockey" thing. ] Would make more sense. I mean, you are hiring personnel to help you with the radio station, right?

[dj_dedf1sh]

[ No response back, either. Just a moment or two of silence until Acht breaks it with a reassuring pat on the back. ]

Don't worry about it too much. This'll get sorted out somehow. Eventually.

[dj_dedf1sh]

[ A part of them wants to correct the weirdo for getting their species wrong, but ya know what? That's less important than getting him off their back. So yeah, nodding. ]

Sure, I'll let it slide. [ One arm goes to their side, another goes to their hip. ]

So... Any idea how you might have wound up here, or did you just show up all of a sudden like I did?

[infernosonata]

Hm... Perhaps I shall tell you later. We might spoil the mood if we rush.

[ May as well play hard to get. Should be fun. ]

What brings you here, signora?

[infernosonata]

[ You are excused, Antonio was going to let the censorship slide until it happened twice in a row... ]

Hm. First of all, I suppose you could say this [ He twirls the bow a bit with the hair it's held in. ] comes about as naturally to me as that strange beeping noise is coming from your mouth.

Second of all... [ He leans in, putting a finger to his chin. ] If I had to guess... The fact that you haven't met him by now must mean you are no longer with him. Separated, if you will. My condolences if that is the case.

[princess_of_hell]

Wow... this is amazing! I had no idea you had something like this already!

[She can't stop staring. At the architecture, and the demons working. She almost loses track of where she's walking.]

First door on the left? Right!

[Wait, she gets herself confused at the last minute.]

Wait, left, or right? You said left, right?

[helluvamess]

Uhhh... [Well that's an awkward topic that he'd hoped they wouldn't be covering!]

Like a month I guess? Barely any time at all I'm sure it's fine.

[He lets go enough that it's less hugging desperately now and more just casually having his arm around Fizz's shoulders.]

It'll be like no fucking time at all and you'll be out of here.

[helluvamess]

What kind of pay we talking about here? Cause I got fucking bills and shit to pay too.

[It's a tempting deal though, and as much as he would deny it, there's a bit of him that's thrilled to hear that his art is recognised on some level, even if it's only for getting stuck in people's heads.]

[helluvamess]

[Blitzø fires without looking back the way he came, a round of shot that would dispatch most things and if anyone was caught in the crossfire... well they should have ducked.]

You're not getting away that fucking easy!

[He's racing down the hallway after the imp, but as they round a corner, Blitzø leaps up onto a table, springboards off it to hit a wall, grabs for a hanging light fixture, and uses the momentum to propel himself in a spin through the air to land right in front of the fleeing imp.]

Lights out, shitbrain.

[The shot takes out the imp, and he sweeps Stolas up before he properly hits the ground.]

Come on, lets get the fuck out of here before they heal.

Re: Hell

[helluvamess]

[Blitzø whistles a tune and shoves a handful of chips in.]

The fuck is an angel doing gambling anyway?

[helluvamess]

[Oh Satan he's gone from the most confused boner to a hard nope. Thanks buddy.]

THAT'S IT. I'm ventilating that skull of yours!

[nestingdevil]

[A sultry expression pulls at his upper lip, exposing a bit more of his teeth.] Sounds like she knows her stuff, then. I wonder which one you ran into - [Trailing off, the Sin places the cigarette back into his mouth and immediately takes a nice, long drag off it, causing the tip to fume to a crispy red.]

[When he exhales, it's through his nose this time, forcing the smoke to rush out in a cloud like a dragon releasing smog.] I'm sure it's a bit confusing, what with another Hell to worry about. Sounds like a real pain in the ass. [Because for him, at least, he had no other Hell to worry about, no other afterlife to compare it to. Instead, it had been the white-hot promise of nothing. An oblivion that would have stripped him bare, leaving behind only an emptiness.]

[And thing about avarice? Well, the notion of nothing is about as close one can get to a real sort of Hell.]

[The cigarette eats itself away on his lip and Greed quickly makes short of the rest before flicking the butt onto the street with his finger.] Mammon, huh. [He repeats the name, his tone dropped and humming. There's a second where that smile on his face almost gets dark. However, it's gone again, disappearing as sure as the last dregs of ash in his lungs.] Doesn't sound like I was wrong. People like that - they've got the whole wrong idea. Greed isn't just for money and power.

[But he'll skip the speech for now. There's no need for it and really, Fizzarolli probably has enough to deal with already.] I am sorry about that, though. If you end up sticking around, this place will be open soon. [He thumbs over his shoulder towards the building in question. A soft, pink light teases through where the boards had once been.] Stop by sometime. First one's on the house. Think you deserve a little after all that huh?

[But then, the imp goes on his introduction, and the Sin's chin tilts up just so. He watches with a kind of innocent intrigue; his eyebrows all raised up high on his forehead.] Oh - ? Hell's greatest clown, huh? Ha - ! That's pretty impressive! [A whistle traps itself in his cheek.] Shame you retired. Could use some more folks down here who know how to have a little fun.

[grumpface]

[Wow, raising that much that early, huh? Ballsy move. Husk does notice Blitzø making a nuisance of himself, but if doing so is an intentional distraction, Husk isn't fazed all that much. It takes a moment for someone other than the two to fold and another after that for the fourth person to call on the bet.]

I was a sinner before comin' here and I don't give a s♠♥♣ what I look like on the outside. I was never lookin' for redemption.

[Husk shall call as well.]

[respectless]

[She lightly pats Vox's arm. Val's fixations aren't ideal for Vox, but they are what they are.]

I'd suggest hiring an assassin for offing him, but I get the impression you'd like to give that your personal attention, darling.

[Fuck that guy indeed. Especially after that network announcement.]

You know...a cooking show would be the perfect excuse to get our hands on some angelic steel from heaven in the near future without arousing suspicion. It's only natural we'd need things like knives, meat cleavers and the like.

[respectless]

[Oh, Velvette's been poking around at the social media accounts of the established locals and can confirm they're pretty thirsty, albeit their porn scene is lacking. A lot of things are lacking here, really. But that just means that rising up will be quick.]

Don't worry, bae. I'm not going to make you beg...unless you've recently developed a kink for it, of course.

[She's teasing rather than serious, but hey. It never hurts to check in.]

Got here a month ago along with Valentino. We spent some quality time acquiring a new HQ tower recently. Renovations are currently in progress, but at least we've got most of the blood cleaned up now. Took a trip up to heaven because I was curious and ew. Gaudy as shit.

[respectless]

No, I think you offered them free room and board in exchange for them participating in your program, and they decided that was a fair arrangement.

[She gestures to the fighting that's resumed about ten feet away from them.]

They didn't sign up for any of that shit, though. Free bit of advice: know your target audience and market accordingly.

[Admittedly, the majority of people in hell probably aren't going to be interested in going to heaven, but hey. Statistically, odds are that there might be a few.]

People can waltz up to heaven and check it out any time they'd like. I think you can even stay for a night or two before they insist you go back to hell. Your ideal clientele is going to be the people who want to live up there permanently.

[deerlisteners]

Oops. My apologies.

[he circles around Reigen, head tilted to one side]

And what sort of business are you thinking about, my vulpine friend?

[deerlisteners]

Excellent! You know, my young friend Emporio had told me that radio has persisted long into the future as a popular and reliable form of entertainment. Your story just warms my heart right up, like a piping hot cup of coffee!

[he gives her a small but dramatic bow, mirroring their first meeting] Yes indeedy! That's me, the one and only Alastor. I don't think I caught your name the last time we spoke, my dear.