heckinooc | TDM 001!!

TDM 001!!

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A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

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[ This is as sheepish as Verosika Mayday will ever look, someone should take a picture. Not that she expected to get reamed for her slip of the tongue, that’s just the type of guy Ozzie is.

At his reaction to Fizz being here, she laughs and props the shades up on top of her head make her. ]

Remind me again how no one knew you guys were dating.

[ Folding her arms, she raises an eyebrow and glances up at him. Worst kept secret in Hell! She always knew “partners” was a euphemism. ]

Would I lie? I think we got here at the same time. Stolas is here too, so is Blitzø and part of his fan club. [ Screw you, Moxxie, you don’t even get namedropped. Forever relegated to being a groupie. ] The Pride Ring is all the rage though, you can’t take two steps without stepping on someone from it.

Hell’s Princess wasn’t what I expected. [ She will never admit that she likes her, not even the big Oz himself can. ]

Like I’d know? I’ve only been here for a month but still wouldn’t be caught dead in pastel. I’ve got a bad bitch image to maintain. The ones dressed up like creepy ass rabbits got the short end of the stick.

[ Good, she doesn’t have to dance around the topic now. ] If you guys keep kicking their asses like you did that day, they aren’t gonna know what hit them. It was all over the news, I thought Killjoy was gonna have an aneurism, would’ve served that bitch right.

Easy, Daddy Morningstar, I think you’ll have to stand in line on that one. Looks like you passed the test, you’re the real deal, aren’t you? I guess I was expecting less halo and more horns? [ She hums, folding her arms as she regards him for a moment. ] So, what am I supposed to call you? Is Daddy Morningstar crossing the line?

[ Look, dads are notorious for being out of the loop, she will take a win where she can get it. Somehow, she has a hunch he might be unaware of the connotations. Fucking Charlie, making her humanity creep out a little. ]

You know it’ll happen one day, right? Her getting hurt. I get her wanting to make a stand but she’s too nice and people—demons will take advantage of that. Not that I give a shit. It’s just—

[ She absolutely gives a shit. ] She looks like a kicked puppy when she’s sad. Who could ignore that?

""just walk out"""??? my friend do you hear yourself??? 😰😰
do we do things "just" for the purpose of completing a task?🤨🤨 for no greater joy or companionship?? 🥀
if we see the red carpet rolled out for us, should we not choose to walk upon it?? 😌🌹 choose joy, i say!!

[A long pause between texts]

i also don't wanna get lost!! me in the big city alone? could you imagine?? 😩
please help me acht-kun!!! 🙏

Ha!

[ His initial reaction is to laugh in his face, Mammon has had a number of years to exploit Fizz and watch him grow as a performer. Maybe he is still acclimating to this new Hell and he misunderstood. He pretends to clear out one of his ears because he is certain he is hearing shit, as he believes his mental hold on the imp to be absolute.

Nonetheless, his grip tightens on him as that rage begins to creep into the picture. ]

Once a clown, always a clown, eh, Fizzie? For a sec there, it sounded like you told me no.

[ He allows him a moment of respite once he lets go of his shoulders but it's only so he can hoist him up by his collar, his fingers managing to dig into a wing as well, and pull him forward so they're eye level. Mammon might be smiling but there is no kindness behind it, the multiple sets of glowing green eyes are even making an appearance. The longer he looks into his face, the angrier he gets, so he eventually prods at his chest with the tip of his cane. Even now his tone reflects the "doting guardian" he pretended to be at the start, a sharp contrast to the physical pain. ]

And you wouldn't do that, would ya, my boy? Not this close to the finale.

[ fizz can feel the grip start to tighten before the pain starts so he expects it. it doesn't make it hurt any less, but he knows it's coming.

he does yelp when he's yanked up by the collar, when fingers dig hard into his wing. it flaps helplessly, unable to do much of anything; that's a new form of pain, one he isn't used to and he squirms, his teeth grit hard to keep from making another sound, from being something pathetic that mammon can manipulate again.

he's terrified, actually, even though he told himself he wouldn't be. mammon right in his face, mammon with too many eyes, the cane in his chest, the sin's syrupy tone he always used when he was using and abusing the imp just to make a quick buck.

his legs are dangling and he swings them hard, planting them both on mammon's chest and shoving, using the extension ability to push himself further away from mammon. if it works at all he knows it's not going to work well: he's just an imp, mammon is a sin for fuck's sake, but it's something, it's more rebellion, it's all he has left. ]

Did you know people come here from different points in the timeline? If you'd come from forty-five minutes later, you'd know I already told you to ████ off! I had a whole song and dance routine and I'm not going to repeat it, but the gist is this: here's my two minute's notice. ████ off and die for all I care, Mammon, you sack of ████. You're a ██████ clown, you always have been, I'm better than you ever were, and the people love me, not you. All that money is because of me. You need me, I don't need you. None of those people are going to like a different act half as much as they love me and you know it.

[ another breath. it doesn't shake. ]

So yeah, I said no. ████ you.

[ Is this an important conversation he should be paying attention to? Because right now, he is paying more attention to the pie he is currently shoveling into his mouth.

So he gets the munchies when he's grumpy, so sue him. ]

Right. Thanks for that, maybe the Sinners aren't so bad.

[ Wait. ]

The fuck? I said your coat is shiny as fuck. No—

[ In a comical show of realization, he scratches at the top of his head with finger then realizes the only thing he did different was eat the pie. Without a care in the world for manners, Mammon turns his head off to the side and proceeds to spit the mouthful of pie (which might as well be three slices for him) onto the ground. He then proceeds to gesture to it like.. why didn't you tell me?

Low blow, Garfield. ]

[ Shortly after Greed catches the imp, Mammon is twirling his cane around like a boss. There's a sharp clang as he drives it into the ground and proceeds to lean against it, observing him with the same keen interest one might give a fly buzzing around a pile of shit. ]

It can catch. You're a regular Gold medalist at the Special Olympics, aren't ya?

Listen here, rump ranger, you're barkin' up the wrong tree if you think I'm gonna pitch for ya. One Ring down, look for the flaming fucking rooster, that homo shit has his name all over it.

[ But something changes in his expression, perhaps he has noticed something about Greed too, or stepping over the crumpled forms of small fries has become boring. Those bright green eyes remained trained on him as he approaches, giving nothing away, but the smile is what reveals his intent. Just as eager as Greed is to stand up for the chumps, Mammon is eager to put a kid in his place.

Who the fuck does he think he is walking like this, swinging his dick around?

Without warning, he disappears in a puff of green smoke and reappears roughly a foot away from Greed with two hands on his hips. A third gestures idly while the fourth, still holding the cane, lifts up so he can prod the man in the chest. Through his shark-toothed grin, little wisps of that same green smoke seep out from between his teeth, which he promptly directs in Greed's face. ]

You challenging me, boy?

[ Uh... First off, let's do some housekeeping before they accidentally dox themselves to anyone else. ]

Acht.Mizuta has changed their screen name to dedf1sh.

[ Now that they've changed their display name from the default, they have to tackle this... Somewhat unsolicited... Wall... Of... Text... Hoo boy. ]

Quick question, what side are you staying in? Heaven or Hell?

Edited 2024-04-29 00:55 (UTC)

[ Of all the things he could have said, he picked the one thing that would effectively make Mammon careen over the deep end. While his little leg trick does earn him some distance, it comes at the cost of his wing. The further he pushes away from him, the greater the threat to him losing the wing becomes. He has a choice here, maintain their current proximity and suffer under his former master's gaze or tear away from him and lose another precious limb.

The pain from losing one before surely isn't creeping into the back of his mind right now. He is allowed roughly thirty seconds to absorb the information given to him and in those thirty seconds, only two emotions cross his face: shock and rage. The latter is an expression Fizz knows all too well, he was treated to it when Mammon lost his shit and transformed.

But it's different here. There's no crowd clamoring for Fizz's attention, no seats to be filled with bodies and no one to stop him from paying it forward right here and now. With that said, one of his arms snap forward to grab ahold of one of the legs against his chest and pull sharply, like pulling the wings off of a fly. ]

You stupid little [ HONK ]!

Didn't think it through, did ya, mate? Oz isn't here to fix you up if you break— [ to prove his point, he twists at the leg again, using a third arm to grab the other one. ] I made you, I gave you the stage! Where else would ya be, Fizzie? Rotting away at that shithole circus as a limbless clown? You never would've met him, yeah? [ He might notice that Mammon is starting to get larger, though nothing like the creature at the pageant. ]

You don't need me?

[ There's a shift in his expression, a cruelty he's never shown him before. It's at this point that he decides to collect a parting gift from his former protege, call it his cut after their final curtain call. Without assistance, he is about to lose one of his wings, as his voice booms out: ]

No one walks away from me, you little shit!

[Some people are just over committing The Horrors-

Oh no. Oh nooooo. He wanted a solution, but he didn't want a sexy solution. He shakes his head like a kid who just got told to finish their green beans.]

You know what? I think I'm alright having it fall off.

why heaven of course! 😇

[ fizz knew it'd cut mammon to the fucking core. that's why he said it. and he's glad for the distance, though the strain on his wing is quickly becoming unbearable and he has to stop pushing himself further away. his tail is lashing behind him violently, thankfully out of reach of being yanked, and he snarls in the face of mammon's anger.

see, the good thing about having robot limbs?

they don't feel anything. normally this is a shitty hand to be dealt, but right now? fucking great. it means fizz can't feel all the shit mammon's doing with his legs, and even if they come off (please don't come off) it won't hurt. ]

Just—just because he's not here this very second doesn't mean he's not here at all, ███clown! Do you really want to risk it? And you know what? If I'd never met you, at least there wouldn't be ████ing sex robots of me everywhere when I didn't want them made, you absolute ████ing freak!

[ his breath is starting to come in harsh pants: he's not crying, he's forcing himself not to cry, but he's shaking and he can feel his wing creaking at the joint in a way that makes him feel like he's going to puke everywhere.

it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter at all. ]

I don't care! I don't care what you want, I'd rather die than work for you again, ████ you, ████ you, ████ you!

[ and he makes a really, really stupid decision in the heat of the moment.

he spits in mammon's face.

which, frankly, has got to be enough to mean that there's no one in hell fast enough to save fizz's wing, which gets ripped out in a spray of—gold? wow, fucked up, actually! damn!

the thing is.

the thing is, getting your wing ripped out hurts different from getting blown up or being on fire. it's nothing he's ever felt before, it's searing, it's enough to—

—he screams. no, shrieks at the top of his lungs, hands reaching out, arms extending to try and shove his thumbs into two of those too-many eyes, but he's practically blinded by the pain so he probably misses. ]

I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT CLOWN!

[ oh. oh wow, he got so mad it got through the censoring. ]

[Mammon's voice is enough for Blitzø to pause, a feeling of unease settling in his gut as he places roughly where the voice is coming from and tries to figure out where the fuck Fizz might be right now so he has a chance to warn the other imp and stash him away somewhere.

Then there's a scream that he's heard too much in nightmares and old memories and Blitzø is running before he has a chance to even think about it. It's pure fear that drives him, shoving his way through the crowd until he spots a too-large shape that seems like it's somewhere between Mammon's two forms and...

And the much smaller shape danging from his hand. Bleeding and fighting for his life.

He sees red and without even thinking about it, Blitzø leaps and climbs Mammon, hauling himself up so he can lock his legs around the Sin's neck from behind and raise his angelic dagger to start stabbing at his eyes and face.]

Get your fucking hands off of him, you overused jizzrag!

[He doesn't care about what happens next, his focus solely on forcing Mammon to release Fizz and give the imp a chance to escape.]

[Husk shrugs, returning a look that says "Who the fuck am I to tell a Sin what they should or should not do". Because really. Chances are he would have been yelled at or punched or belittled. He may be a sinner, but he knows which rung he's on.

Anyways, he fetches a nearby bag he can swipe the mouthgroundpie into it.]

It's... I don't exactly care for this form I'm stuck in, especially bein' an angel and all.

[Husk eyes the pie. Another thought comes to him.]

Wait... The ♥♠♣♦in' pie still does that?

[Husk highs and wipes his hand down his face. OF FUCKING COURSE IT STILL FORCES YOU TO SAY THINGS AAAAA.]

Ya sure? I hear it's excruciatin'. Like gettin' eaten by pirahnas or some shit. [Angel sighs, patting the guy on the shoulder.] But hey, your pancreas, your choice. Hope ya don't get gangrene.

Then don't sweat it. Most of the locals up here are friendly, so they don't mind helping you out if you get lost. Hell's a completely different story.

I just want to know if I should be looking for someone bird-shaped

Not a dealbreaker either way so whatever 🤣🐦💖

Angel sounds interesting even if it's only maybe-angel though. I don't have shame, so I'll ask him what he is! I won't mention you said anything!

you're tellin me the vees are here though idk if you knew them back home val always said you two were tight but he's full of it pleasure's all mine you stuck up in heaven like fizz?

[THIS IS JUST RAISING MORE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT A LORD OF LUST CAN POSSIBLY BE, but it looks sooooooooooooo cool, so maybe he should just look inside himself for the answers,

His own gestures have become smaller, subdued in awe. He gives a small nod.]

Okay! Umm, before, I went with someone to an office in Heaven, I think, so maybe we can find where the office is in Hell?!

[She moves to hop onto a barstool, then.]

Oh, I'd never turn down a good mimosa, either. If you wanted to split a bottle of champagne! Either or!

I like pie! But you can get a pie on basically any planet! Whateeeever! I'm not worrying about it that much!

...What's your favorite pie flavor?

[It seems like the polite thing to do to go over there and pick up some pie for him, if he's having trouble moving around.]

It changed for me, so I was wondering if it changed for everyone, that's all.

Other than the horns, I got this really garish jewelry.

[She raises her ankle into the air, to show off an ankle bracelet. She understands the troubling connotation, but she is compelled to make the joke anyway.]

I see. He has those adorable, bird-like spots on his cheeks. He wears a lot of white, and has blue, blue eyes that flicker the most enticing shade of red when you start talking about something juicy. Nice to meet someone so open minded. Do you mean that literally? You cannot feel shame at all? Or are you just trying to be cute? Succeeding, incidentally. I just want to make sure I understand you.

bee??? that really you?? when did you get here??

Do you want to risk it? Sounds like I've got nothing to lose.

[ The fact that Fizz struggles as wildly as he does amuses him to no end because he is A Deadly Sin, The King of Greed, and here is this imp wiggling around like a worm on a hook. The arms might protect him temporarily, but they are only delaying the inevitable, any chance he had at getting out of this unscathed went out the window the moment he spit in his face.

To add insult to injury, he waggles the wing above his head, spraying him with the golden blood flowing from the end. ]

You dropped something. Sit still, yeah? Gotta make some room for that spine you decided to grow overnight!

[ And that's when Mammon learns the hard way that things have changed. He is so blinded by his rage that he's already grabbing for the second wing when Blitzø appears on the scene. The feeling of something against his back has him stopping short of actually grabbing the other wing but he hasn't released Fizz yet. Not until that blade sticks in his left eye and has him stumbling back with a howl. Only then does he drop the clown, using one blood-caked hand to reach behind him and grab for Blitzø's tail.

If Mammon gets it, his heroics will be rewarded by him being whipped around and flung into the nearest wall. Either way, one of his other hands grasps at his face, that wicked smile nearly unhinged. ]

You're gonna regret that.

[ Plumes of green smoke are already starting to seep out of mouth, out of the holes currently peppering his face. He actually laughs, stretching two arms out to either side. Two imps taking on him? Him? Mammon? Not fucking likely. He might have stopped growing but he still towers over them both, voice commanding the respect he is unlikely to receive today. ]

Feeling good about the odds, are ya? So was he.

[ ... and he promptly throws Fizz's severed wing at Blitzø's feet. ]

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Page 63 of 72

TDM 001!!

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He will sit on you poser

Forgot to mention their UN is dedf1sh but we can fix this

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oopsie! pretend it never happened!!

mild gore? eye stuff? idk. dont look at me

I'm looking respectfully

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Will do boss.

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text; un: 🍆ozzie🍆

I'm kinda har-- oop, bad time?