A. CLEAN UP CREW [Dee stirs gently, a low groan sounding from her throat as her eyes slowly flutter open. Her head feels heavy, her thoughts a nonsensical, incoherent tangle, and her vision is blurry as fuck. She doesn't know what the hell she did last night, but it must have been a really good evening for her to feel this shitty. She lifts her head up, strands of blonde hair clinging to her face, and quickly registers that she's sitting in water. Sitting... in a big-ass pool of water. Her clothes are soaked, her legs are submerged, her back feels... weirdly heavy?
Her clothes are soaked.]
Ugh! Goddamnit! [She whines, raising both hands to stare at the water dripping from her fingers like it's the most disgusting thing she's ever touched in her life.] What the... hell did I drink last night?
[She hasn't noticed the bright, yellow halo hovering over her head yet, and the extra weight on her back comes from four equally bright, yellow wings.]
B. HEAVENLY SING-A-LONGS [Oh, yeah. Heaven is where Deandra Reynolds is meant to be. Maybe she made some bad choices in her life, but she's not a bad person, right? She's probably more deserving of Heaven than those bitter old ladies who sit and scroll Facebook all day, eating up conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. Almost everyone's more deserving than those jerks, right??
Right?
She lets the cherubs spritz her with fancy perfume, lets them touch her hair.]
I mean, the... sea creatures are a bit much, but I am loving this so far. Where are the guys who do neck massages? [She asks, posing her question to no one in particular. And then:]
I bet those donkey dicks down in Hell are so goddamn jealous. Someone please tell me Dennis is down there eating imp cocks for breakfast right now.
[She adds with a smirk, not even trying to hide her feelings of smug superiority.]
Dee Reynolds | It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia | Heaven-Bound
[Dee stirs gently, a low groan sounding from her throat as her eyes slowly flutter open. Her head feels heavy, her thoughts a nonsensical, incoherent tangle, and her vision is blurry as fuck. She doesn't know what the hell she did last night, but it must have been a really good evening for her to feel this shitty. She lifts her head up, strands of blonde hair clinging to her face, and quickly registers that she's sitting in water. Sitting... in a big-ass pool of water. Her clothes are soaked, her legs are submerged, her back feels... weirdly heavy?
Her clothes are soaked.]
Ugh! Goddamnit! [She whines, raising both hands to stare at the water dripping from her fingers like it's the most disgusting thing she's ever touched in her life.] What the... hell did I drink last night?
[She hasn't noticed the bright, yellow halo hovering over her head yet, and the extra weight on her back comes from four equally bright, yellow wings.]
B. HEAVENLY SING-A-LONGS
[Oh, yeah. Heaven is where Deandra Reynolds is meant to be. Maybe she made some bad choices in her life, but she's not a bad person, right? She's probably more deserving of Heaven than those bitter old ladies who sit and scroll Facebook all day, eating up conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. Almost everyone's more deserving than those jerks, right??
Right?
She lets the cherubs spritz her with fancy perfume, lets them touch her hair.]
I mean, the... sea creatures are a bit much, but I am loving this so far. Where are the guys who do neck massages? [She asks, posing her question to no one in particular. And then:]
I bet those donkey dicks down in Hell are so goddamn jealous. Someone please tell me Dennis is down there eating imp cocks for breakfast right now.
[She adds with a smirk, not even trying to hide her feelings of smug superiority.]