TDM 002 / MERMAY EVENT

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]


A: Garden Level - CLEAN UP CREW
[WHUH OH YOU'VE DIED AND ENDED UP IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. A usually beautiful sight--this time it seems the water from heaven is spilling over! Watch your step or you might get a stream of ocean water cascading atop your head like a prop bucket.

The imps and cherubs are hard at work with a water pump tho!! They've got this, really. "Don't mind us, we're just--doing paperwork! Yep!! THAT'S ALL IT IS."

Reassuring. More alarming, you may have noticed that you've changed. Depending on your alignment, you may have more heavenly or hellish traits.............or just for May, you may have AQUATIC traits. That's not worrying!!

Well as some oldbies get teleported to the garden as well, maybe you can ask them some questions!!]


B: HECK-LING TIMES
[Now if you take the elevator down to Hell's Hotel, it's water free! However you may be IMMEDIATELY assaulted by some imps who try to jab you with a shiv. Standard hell greeting!! Maybe someone intervenes or maybe you can like, just punch them. The sheep imps ain't shit. The rest of the hotel is surprisingly nice though, and if you have a room assignment there, you'll find it honestly pretty accommodating.

BUT OUTSIDE? Oh buddy is it still flooded!! Some imps are working hard to pump the water out, but it has the added effect of creating whirlpools. Get sucked into one and not only will you be tossed and turned like laundry, but there's a chance a MEMORY will be tossed right out of you! This could be anything from forgetting your name, your bestie's face, where you live, whatever! Don't worry, the effect will wear off in a few hours, or until someone finds the memory and gives it back to you (in the form of floating seashells that will float near the whirlpools!)]


C: HEAVENLY SING-A-LONGS
[Take the elevator up, and you step in the luxurious Heavenly Hotel! And you may be IMMEDIATELY assaulted by sheep cherubs spritzing you with perfumes or colognes or dolling up your hair. They're here to serve!! Once you get rid of those pests though, feel free to explore the ludicrously divine amenities of the hotel.

OUTSIDE isn't nearly as flooded as Hell, though the local ocean has still expanded greatly, but instead there's a different problem...........there are crabs. And seagulls. And fish?? Singing. They're singing SO much.

You may find a chorus of sea critters at any point in Heaven abruptly bursting into a kiss-the-girl style musical, accidentally revealing a crush you might have, or a silly secret. Better hope passing angels and other residents aren't listening too hard! Of course you can just punt the annoying creatures away. Or eat them. That's an option too, sure. ]



OOC NOTES:
-All effects are optional and last as long as it's fun for you to play with them!
-TDM characters can have mermaid forms or not, up to you!
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open in June! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Comments

Dee Reynolds | It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia | Heaven-Bound

[agiantbird]

A. CLEAN UP CREW
[Dee stirs gently, a low groan sounding from her throat as her eyes slowly flutter open. Her head feels heavy, her thoughts a nonsensical, incoherent tangle, and her vision is blurry as fuck. She doesn't know what the hell she did last night, but it must have been a really good evening for her to feel this shitty. She lifts her head up, strands of blonde hair clinging to her face, and quickly registers that she's sitting in water. Sitting... in a big-ass pool of water. Her clothes are soaked, her legs are submerged, her back feels... weirdly heavy?

Her clothes are soaked.]

Ugh! Goddamnit! [She whines, raising both hands to stare at the water dripping from her fingers like it's the most disgusting thing she's ever touched in her life.] What the... hell did I drink last night?

[She hasn't noticed the bright, yellow halo hovering over her head yet, and the extra weight on her back comes from four equally bright, yellow wings.]

B. HEAVENLY SING-A-LONGS
[Oh, yeah. Heaven is where Deandra Reynolds is meant to be. Maybe she made some bad choices in her life, but she's not a bad person, right? She's probably more deserving of Heaven than those bitter old ladies who sit and scroll Facebook all day, eating up conspiracy theory after conspiracy theory. Almost everyone's more deserving than those jerks, right??

Right?

She lets the cherubs spritz her with fancy perfume, lets them touch her hair.]

I mean, the... sea creatures are a bit much, but I am loving this so far. Where are the guys who do neck massages? [She asks, posing her question to no one in particular. And then:]

I bet those donkey dicks down in Hell are so goddamn jealous. Someone please tell me Dennis is down there eating imp cocks for breakfast right now.

[She adds with a smirk, not even trying to hide her feelings of smug superiority.]

Heaven

[shslliar]

Dennis, huh?

[ This is asked by some teenager who very much looks he should be in Hell. But here he is, strolling right outta the elevator into Heaven and dodging a cherub with a perfume bottle. ]

Hey, you know what this Dennis guy looks like? Because I might have heard someone say that name a few minutes ago.

[agiantbird]

[Dee silently stares at this guy for a couple of seconds, and the first thing she wants to do is haughtily tell him that he’s in the wrong neighbourhood and should probably go back to the burning shithole he came from. But she resists because he’s grabbed her attention by mentioning Dennis.

Or, rather, a Dennis. Maybe all people named Dennis go to Hell. That wouldn’t surprise her one bit.]

Oh yeah, I know what he looks like. [She scoffs, sounding as though she can’t believe that’s even a question.] He’s my twin brother. ‘Bout my height. Brown hair, and blue eyes. Sharp… features.

[She points to her own face, to her chin and cheekbones.]

He’s a real asshole too.

[shslliar]

Oh really? Then how did a guy fitting your description get a free coupon for a full body massage from the hotel downstairs?

[ This lady is gonna be so fun to mess with. ]

[agiantbird]

[Oh no. That makes her bristle for about half a second, and she’s about to protest, but then she comes to the conclusion that a Hell massage is probably worse than a Heaven massage. A lot worse.

She narrows her eyes, blue eyes flashing with disdain.]

Probably because the dumb boner didn’t read the fine print. The assholes down there probably slap you with meat tenderisers and call that a massage.

[shslliar]

[ He smirks her like he is trying not to laugh too much at the snarking. ]

Really? Then what about that "happy ending" I overheard that hotel imp mention to your brother? There's tons of horny hotspots down in Hell, so I wouldn't be surprised if he got a nice reward for getting pummeled with a spiky mallet for thirty minutes.

cw: drug mention

[agiantbird]

Yeah, well. Unlike my dickhead brother, I'm not interested in getting jacked off by some buff, oiled-up incubus with a meth problem and a daddy kink.

[Dee says with both eyebrows raised, still staring at him with contempt in her bright, blue gaze. Her aggravation simmers gently; she's beginning to wonder what Heaven's stance on banging is because back in the living world, most religious people would get their panties in a twist over people merely holding hands without getting hitched first.

Fuck.]

I'm just looking for a normal massage by some pretty angel who'll shower me with a dozen compliments and treat me like the classy lady I am. Okay? Is that okay with you?

[shslliar]

[ He hasn't seen all of Heaven yet, but with the amount of casinos and nightclubs in Hell he has a feeling. ]

Whatever you want, lady. Just don't be surprised if the angel rubbing you down looks more like a bunch of rings with eyes than a person.

[agiantbird]

I can deal with a ring-person, guy.

[Dee says snarkily, her tone suggesting that it should be obvious that she can deal with some weird-looking ring-man with a dozen rotating eyeballs. In actuality, she doesn't want that at all.]

And I can always request someone else if I want to. I'm sure they'd be fine with that.

A. Clean Up Crew

[bugbeverage]

[ Dee will be able to smell Beetlejuice before she sees him.]

[Beetlejuice is enjoying his little vacation--though if you were always partying and having a great time, could you really take a vacation from that? Decked out in a stupid hat and a Hawaiian shirt patterned with beetles and centipedes, he's ready for his day at the beach.
He slithers by on his many striped octopus legs with his foldy chair tucked under an arm, and pauses to tip his sunnies and peer down at her. ]

You do you, but I think you'd get a better soak where I'm headed. You new, sweetheart?

LMAO I LOVE HIM

[agiantbird]

[Oh God. Oh... God. Ew. Dee wrinkles her nose up, the smell of something absolutely godawful hitting her nostrils. Dee doesn't know what the fuck it is, but it's bad, and she wants it gone.

...And then she turns and sees an octopus-man coming toward her, with a foldy chair under his arm and sunglasses on his face. And it quickly dawns on her that the smell is coming from him. His stench rivals Charlie's, which would almost be impressive if Dee didn't feel like gagging right now.]

Y-Yeah? Uh. [She stares at him distrustfully. She doesn't know what he means by 'new' yet, but... that's a question for later. She's too distracted by the stench, and by... the mysterious place this stinky dude's trying to recommend to her.]

...Are you... heading to a sewer? Because I don't want to hang out in a sewer.

<3333

[bugbeverage]

[ The angelpuss (angel octopus) man takes no offense. He simply extends a grubby hand. ]

Not today--the beach is where it's at! I'm talking, totally topside, like woah!

[ He sails a hands through the air like a surfboard. ]

You should, like, totally come with me and hang out! I'm sure you have a lot of questions and fortunately for you, all I've got is time.

[agiantbird]

[Dee very pointedly ignores the extended hand, because god knows where that thing's been. She places her hands on her hips instead, and wonders if she can endure that aroma wafting from his weird body.]

Yyyeah. It's not really sewer weather, is it? [She comments dryly.]

[She probably could hang out with the weird, stinky guy though. She's been around Charlie long enough to go nose blind to his smells pretty damn quickly. She might be able to manage with this dude too.]

Guess I could hang out for a bit. But if we start heading toward a single goddamn manhole cover, I'm out.

[bugbeverage]

Oh, don't you worry, the only manhole around here is mine.

[agiantbird]

Ugh.

[Dee makes a disgusted noise in the back of her throat, scrunching her nose up at him.]

...Okay. Yeah. Lead the way, dude. I'm gonna soak up some rays. Maybe a bit of sun will dull this migraine of mine.

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice leads the way to the elevators. Along the way he hums and chuckles to himself as though he's just thought of THE best joke. However, he doesn't share it. When they arrive at the doors, the ghoul mashes the UP arrow and rests back on his tentacles as he waits.]

You're gonna love it--they got endless shrimp.

[agiantbird]

[Oh boy. Now he’s humming and chuckling to himself, and Dee’s beginning to wonder what the fuck she’s gotten herself into. And why is the beach upstairs? She sees that up arrow, glowing almost menacingly.]

Endless shrimp, huh? [She sounds… cautious.] What else do they have?

sing-a-longs

[addickted]

Hey, watch yer mouth, toots. [Angel is lounging nearby, all seven-foot-what-the-fuck of him, one leg crossed over the other, waving away one of the cherubs and snagging some kinda pineapple-shaped drink from a passing tray. He takes a loooong slurp.

Imp cock's the best hangover cure in any afterlife, yaknow. Tastes like a real nice greasy cheeseburger.

<3!

[agiantbird]

Ughhh. [Dee makes a grossed-out sound in the back of her throat and shoots the... too-many-limbed-what-the-fuck a haughty and disgusted look, scrunching her nose up. She's acting so obnoxious, acting like she's superior when the truth is that she's just as bad as everyone else. And in some cases, she's even worse.]

Gross. Give me a cheeseburger with a side of fries any day. Better than limp imp dick with a side of infernal gonorrhea.

[addickted]

[Angel keeps one set of arms folded behind his head, holding his drink with another free hand and using the last one to tug his sunglasses down enough to give her a once-over. Her comment makes him grin, though, all sharp teeth.]

No, no, no, imps are immune to gonorrhea. Herpes is whatcha gotta watch out for. That shit's like the common cold to 'em. Cannibals on the other hand got all kinds'a diseases, but they're also hot as fuck.

Not that it'll matter if ya only plan on bummin' around this swanky joint instead'a havin' any real fun. [He shrugs, pushing his sunglasses back into place.] Your call, Blondie.

CW: mild cannibalism mention

[agiantbird]

[Oh, goddamn, those are some sharp, mean-looking teeth in his head. They look like they could tear into her with ease, and that thought alone makes her pale, makes her throat feel dry, makes her clench all four of her wings up.

Dee stares at him, perturbed, her pastel blue eyes wide with apprehension because he just said that cannibals are hot and why would anyone think cannibals are hot?!]

I'm having fun here! [Dee says a little too defensively. It also sounds like she doesn't believe her own words.]

And I refuse to go down there if that's what you're suggesting because your hot cannibal friends? Are going to see a pretty blonde angel like myself and they're going to want to eat me. That's assuming the other demons don't try murdering me first! I'll be a prime target down there!

cw: cannibalism all the way down

[addickted]

[Angel knows it, and there's a smugass look on his smugass face when she recoils, all her wings fluffing up. Okay, yes, he's working on being a better person and whatever, but he can't resist having fun all the time, or he'll die of boredom.

So he nods seriously, propping his cheek on a hand as he rolls to his side to face her.] Ohhhh, yeah, you're probably right. They loooove angels. You guys're like chicken wings for 'em. The good kind, with the burn-your-face-off hot sauce on top. And you got four'a them, toots.

Besides, Heaven's waaaaay better. I mean, you can't have sex or you'll burn up immediately, but hey. Who needs sex, right? [He's actually not positive about that, but when it doubt, lean on Catholicism.]

[agiantbird]

[Dee's already naturally pale, but now she looks whiter than a ghost. She visibly shudders, and shakes her head like she's trying to shake away terrible, terrible thoughts. That all sounds about right. She already has a picture in her head of what it's like 'down there' with the demons. She assumes they're all monsters who would love to get a piece of her angelic ass (and not in the fun way), and she's... freaking out a little.

But she scoffs at the sex thing, narrows her eyes and glowers at the weird dude who is... honestly bringing up a good point. And Dee's been a little concerned about Heaven, ever since she learned about the current alcohol situation. Is she going to have to marry someone just to bang them? Because that'll be a problem for her.]

Oh, come on. That's so stupid! [Dee whines, before laughing nervously. She's trying so hard to play it cool, but she's... failing.] That's so stupid! No one's going to burst into flames for having sex.

[addickted]

[Angel's grin never falters, which makes it a little tricky to tell whether he's fucking wtih her or not -- which is entirely by design. He slurps at the drink, grabbing the wedge of pineapple off the rim and tossing it whole into his mouth.]

Yeah, well, you're talkin' about the place invented by the guy who told everyone to not lie, not steal, not stab anyone and not ever have any fuckin' fun, ever. Stands ta reason that "don't bang anyone" is up there as a big no-no.

[agiantbird]

[Dee hates that she can’t tell, but she feels like she should take him seriously, especially in regards to the “divine chicken wings” thing.

She deflates, slumping her shoulders as she throws her hands up in the air.]

Goddamnit. [She sighs, visibly panicking .] I’m going to have to go down there… I’m going to have to get some red body paint and some… cones.

[Deandra, please, you’re not disguising yourself as a demon]