TDM 003 - SUMMER

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]


A: Garden Level - OOPS YOU DIED
[CONGRATS YOU DIED. Sucks for you!! But Abe and Lucy are DETERMINED to get paperwork done and to do that, they need to get to know YOU.

So as soon as you appear, no matter if you're going to heaven or hell, you get slapped with a "HELLO MY NAME IS ____" sticker by one of the sheep. Said sticker has two possible effects:
-The sticker may say your "True" name or a nickname you don't like, or an alias, etc. How did it get there?? Paperwork. There is a chance it's blank and you can write your own name too.
-Whenever they see a person, they will be compelled to shout "HELLO MY NAME IS [their name] AND I LIKE [something they like.]"

We speed therapying this shit. ]


B: SUMMER HELL
[Whether you're a demon or an angel, eventually you may want to visit the HellRaiser hotel below! Hell is where all the HIP HAPPENING THINGS are after all. Want a lava bath? Go to a club? Gamble?? Just get fucking drunk? Hell's your place.

However, despite being the afterlife, even hell is not immune from the heat of summer. And it's taking the whole flames of hell thing literally. So!

-You might be minding your own business, and suddenly part of your body or clothing just, fucking ignites on fire. Good luck with that!
-You may get badgered by demonic vendors, trying to push various summer t-shirts on you.
-You might get roped into some demons fucking EMBRACING THE HEAT. Ever been tied to a giant fire spit oven an open flame?? YOU HAVE NOW. Maybe someone will help you, or you can handle yourself just fine.

Or you might get lucky and none of that happens and you're just vibing. Good on you!!]


C: Heaven is Central Air Conditioning
[Heaven-side, the heavenly hotel is its normal, luxurious self except for one key different. . .A/C. That's right, only the hotels in Heaven have working air conditioning. Fucked up!! So chilling up here might be the right call. You can always go visit the beach too, or any of the delightful coffee shops. Heaven also is the only place to get caffeine. Wack.

Of course, even heaven is prone to wackiness. Newbies may be prone to:
-Like hell, there are plenty of vendors up here, but instead of cash, today they ask for payment in...jokes? Better give your best one.
-Cherubs may be especially pushy and try to get you dressed in extremely stuffy/heavenly clothing. Enjoy your corsets and such.
-At the beach, if you sun bathe too long without protection, oops! You may find your skin (fur, scales, whatever) turning not red, but another ridiculous color.

OR AGAIN, JUST DO WHATEVER. WHOMST CAN STOP YOU?? You have a phone just text strangers do what you want.]



OOC NOTES:
-"Ash this TDM seems kinda half assed" IT'S SUMMER AND I'M TIRED also with July having no themed event I wanted this TDM to be pretty generic so people can hop in without worrying about timelines!
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open!! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Comments

[gl00my]

[Oh no... it's the worst possible route... she's a normie... Bad End. He should have known and yet! Curse his foolish optimism /s

Idia sneers a bit at the suggestion, exposing a row of sharp teeth. Which looks less intimidating and more... constipated.]

Stalking? Are you serious? What would I have to gain from studying these plebs' lore? You're all the same... looking down on people like me...

[missleadingquestions]

[...]

Um...

It's hard to look up at you when you're crouched on the ground, don't you think?

[that's not—]

[gl00my]

[Rapid succession of disgust and embarrassment and anger. Still he doesn't stand up or anything, just raises his shoulders higher- like a cat or an annoying human person.]

A-are you /srs?? Are you seriously calling me a pathetic worm who should just unalive right now???

[oh that's. also not.]

[missleadingquestions]

[with her tails whipping about, Maya stares at him in surprise.]

W-wait, huh?!

Did you actually say the slash out loud?!

[Is this what the kids call... cringe?!]

Am I meeting a NEET in real life?!

1/2

[gl00my]

[EYES-- WIDENED]

N-NEET!?

2/2

[gl00my]

[Ah!! Like a stake through a vampire's heart the truth plunges into his chest. That pinpoint accuracy-- is she some kind of aimbot??? A gloom descends over him like a cloud passing overhead.]

I can't believe... I'm getting camped in Heaven... You normies with your outgoing extrovert aura... I'm just dirt to you, huh...

[What is this one-sided dialogue?]

[missleadingquestions]

W-wow... And here I thought Nick was a homebody...

You're really out of your element, aren't you?

[it would probably help if she would point that out a little less, though...]

I guess that answers my question of if you were doing okay, though.

[Because the answer is so very clearly no.]

[gl00my]

[Perhaps Maya Fey's finest casework yet-- mystery solved: he's a pathetic introvert!]

Of course I am! I'm not like you people, I'm built different! My CHA stat is catastrophically low, totally broken!! [Absentmindedly he raises a hand to his face and nibbles nervously at the edge of his hoodie sleeve.] People like you totally carry, while I'm scrambling in the dirt to pretend I understand small talk...

[missleadingquestions]

Um, you can say that, but...

[Maya puts her hand to her chin in thought, pondering.]

Aren't you the one who's done the most talking between us right now...?

[That's actually pretty unusual for her! Though—]

And even if your charisma's low, you've got main-character hair! Like in a TV show!

[Ah, she's not a gamer, but she is still a fucking nerd. And is also absolutely about to reach out and bap Idia's hair with a paw if he doesn't stop her. Potentially even if he tries to.]

[gl00my]

[Can someone bluescreen IRL?]

I-I... um... well...

[Being flattered by a main character type IRL? This has to be a joke-- everyone come out and have a big laugh! Hahaha!! Come laugh at the NEET's character customization now too!!]

What kind of shows... are you even watching...

[It sounds bitter in his head but comes out more like a whisper-- an almost curious whisper.]

[missleadingquestions]

[Dangerous question.

Maya's kitty pupils dilate so very fast.]

Striking to kill with the wrath of Justice!

[Is. is she posing. It's actually kind of hard to tell since she's still squatted down with him, she might just be really excited...]

The hero of Neo Olde Tokyo—

THE STEEL SAMURAI!

[her eyes are. sparkling.]

...And all the following properties, of course. But no one can ever beat the original.

[gl00my]

[Idia's eyes are wide but his soul is blinded by her sparkle. Could it be... that she's a weirdo??]

What? Samurai? Steel Samurai? I- [Did he betray his cringe samurai otaku tendencies?? Ugh! Be fucking chill. He clears his throat.] What... is that some sentai show for children?

[Nice nailed it]

[missleadingquestions]

[Facing him with FULL INTENSITY:]

It's a classic adventure for the young AND the young at heart!

...But yes.

[gl00my]

[He looks almost alarmed at that intensity-- burning so bright! His hair flickers a little in turn.]

Woah, you're actually srs about this sort of thing. Could it be... that you're some kind of otaku?

[Could it even be pawsible? P-... possible.]

[missleadingquestions]

I just know a good series when I see one!

I'm a woman of great taste, after all.

[She's some kind of something, alright...]

[gl00my]

Great taste, huh...

[They make girls like this? Sentai otaku who are... self-assured?? It's too much for the mind to comprehend. What's worse is he kind of wants to watch this show but saying that would be too eager. He'll Google it once he's figured out what the Internet is like here. Safe. Idia starts eyeing the grass at his feet with great interest.]

That sounds like main character dialogue to me, tbh.

[Tee bee aytch.]

[missleadingquestions]

[Self-assured, excellent bluffer— both all in one, who's to say? Maya still smiles like she's pleased with herself.

She is not, however, impervious to misunderstanding.]

You wanna know about the em-cee?

He's a cyborg samurai, the Steel Samurai! The timeless tradition and honor of bushido combined with the vision of tomorrow! A hero worthy of taking down a villain as cool and conniving as The Evil Magistrate!

[he didn't ask, though...]

[gl00my]

[If there's one thing Idia won't do, it's pretend to be someone he's not. And what he is? A stamped and certified samurai-liker. This girl has proven herself to be an actual no joke loser and that's about as safe as he might feel in this situation. Or. Maybe he just forgets to be afraid for a minute because--]

Th-that's what I've been saying! The unwavering righteousness of the samurai needs to be combined with the premiere physique and resilience of the robot!! I'm always saying that!!!

[He's leaning forward on his hands and knees, crushing his stupid cup into the grass.]

[missleadingquestions]

[Maya mimics Idia's intensity, tail wiggling behind her in excitement.]

I didn't even know what I was missing before The Steel Samurai! A body that never gets tired of defending the city from the plans of the Evil Magistrate! And steel as unbreakable as his mighty blade!!

[gl00my]

[He's emboldened to do the same, an inevitable feedback loop of insanity.]

Yes! That's the best part of robotics: go, go, go, infinite stamina! Rebuilt better and stronger-- perfectly suitable to the bushido ethos! [His hands are flapping empathetically.] It's totally epic!!

[missleadingquestions]

[Maya imitates his hand flapping too, though her hands—paws?— are still clenched into little fists, so it would almost look menacing if she wasn't so... fluffy.]

Totally! There's no better hero out there!

I mean, it's just logical, if you think about it.

[IS IT.]

Combining the traditions of the path with the visions of the future... It's so cool.

I watched samurai movies all the time before Steel Samurai, but it's like a whole step above that!

[gl00my]

It just works!

[Idia ceases his hand flapping as if something has occurred to him. He lowers his voice like they're sharing a secret. And in a way, aren't they?]

There's not, like... streaming in Heaven is there?

[You know, for reasons.]

[missleadingquestions]

Streaming...?

[Loading... Loading...]

Oh! Like those online premieres!

[no one in the office knows how to use a computer okay]

I mean, if it's Heaven, and you like it, why wouldn't they have it?

[gl00my]

[Idia's hands lower, making a slow descent to rest in his lap.]

Well... [He looks wearily at the mingle around him. For a minute he forgot it was even there-- how novel.] Heaven has plenty of things I don't like. Maybe God is cruel and I won't be able to stream Steel Samurai either.

1/2

[missleadingquestions]

[with a sudden intensity unearned by someone who a second ago didn't know what streaming is:]

As a true fan, I'm ready to watch the Steel Samurai even if I have to fight god.