TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[bugbeverage]

But the what kind?

[ He cups a hand aside his ear mockingly. ]

I can't hear you!

Hell

[helluvamess]

[Unfortunately for the new angel, there's a cover charge for this particular club and while the bouncer is small, he does have a gun in one hand which is immediately waved under the guy's nose.]

Hey, not so fast sparkle dick. I'm gonna need to see some green for you to get inside, that or a deal, your choice. But I'm feeling vindictive so keep that in mind.

[twominutes]

[ he's had a stressful day!!! sorry, blitzø.

it's the tail curl that finally gets him to peter out into sniffling, burying his face in the side of blitzø's neck so he doesn't have to look at anything. ]

Sorry, ████. I'm okay. It's fine.

[ he has not let go, though. ]

[twominutes]

████ you, you ███████ ███████ piece of ████! Sooo ███████ funny, ████ this, ████ you, ████ the ██████ horse you rode in on!

Also, stop ███████ touching me!

[ yeah he's mad. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ BJ approaches the door ghoul with all the confidence of a fool. He gives the gun a dismissive glance before giving his widest yellow smile. ]

Aw c'mon, pal! Lemme in, it's my birthday! I'm the birthday boy! I got a whole party inside waiting for me.

[introveert]

Okay, I'm panicking! I have a tail! I don't normally have a tail! And it should be burning my butt but isn't for some reason??

Ok, Ok. Maybe this is real, but they'll... fix it, right? They said they were going to?

[helluvamess]

Oh well in that case--

[The gun lowers juuuust enough to suggest that it might have worked, and then it's back up and almost shoved up a nostril.]

Fuck that shit, double cover for birthdays asshole, triple for that shitty ass fucking clown imitation and thinking that I won't notice!

[helluvamess]

[He is also not letting go and this is... nice? Really nice? Normally he doesn't let himself initiate this kind of contact easily, for all that he desperately craves it. Staying like this for a while is totally fine though, right?]

It's fine. It's a fucking lot getting here.

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice nods along as the barrage of non-swears bounce off him like sleet off a windshield. When Fizzarolli finishes, the angel reaches out to flick one of the bells dangling from his hat.]

I'd tell ya to watch your blood pressure, but we're already dead. So! Fizzaroonie, maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I bet you and I could sing a killer duet.

[ He flicks the bell again. ]

Hey, wanna make out?

[twominutes]

[ yeah, it's really nice to be held and held in return, it's... odd to be like this with blitzø, especially after everything, but right now he doesn't care, he doesn't want to unpack anything, he just wants to be comforted. ]

I want to know why I'm different now. Also, if they were changing things about me, why they couldn't give me some ███████ real limbs. ████████.

[ now he's just bitching. his extendo-limbs are pretty cool even though they can't feel anything. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice scrunches his head into his shoulders so that he doesn't get a pistol shoved into his brain. He rummages in the pockets of his striped jacket. ]

I don't know what you're talking about. Ah-!

[ He draws his hand from his coat and opens it to reveal a paper clip, a scratched lotto ticket, and an unwrapped caramel chew. ]

Oh, huh...

[twominutes]

[ okay, but consider: the arm does extend this time, slapping the hand away. no touch.

then he just stares, incredulous, at what comes out of this motherfucker's mouth. ]

First off, it's Fizzarolli. Get it right. Second, why would I— [ he SMACKS THE HAND AGAIN ] ever want to sing a duet with you, much less make out?! I have a boyfriend!

[ that he constantly sleeps with other people with, but, you know, that's not here nor there.

they would sound really cool in a duet, though... oh no, now he's thinking about it. the adhd... is winning. ]

[twominutes]

What's wrong with having a tail?

[ he flicks his, for emphasis. ]

But I seriously wouldn't trust bureaucrats. It's a nice sentiment, but that ████ will take forever if it happens at all.

vox | hazbin | hell, obviously.

[technicaldifficulties]

📺 arrival.

[ this is... new, but he's not about to complain, because all of these fresh faced sinners are just ripe for the manipulating. offering stability ( especially in hell ) is always a sure-fire way to lure in unsuspecting souls, so he's sure that he'll be able to find ( and grab ) a couple of suckers for either himself, velvette, or valentino. ]

[ although vox would much rather be back at v-tower he is making an effort to mingle. he does avoid the food and drink, because he expects it to either be a) terrible or b) poisoned. or both. if you catch his eye which could be hard depending on the angle he'll introduce himself, ]

Hello. I'm Vox, yes, of Voxtek, [ thanks for noticing. ] and who might you be?

📺 hell.

[ he's not participating in the fights breaking out, well, everywhere, but he does seem to be enjoying the bloody spectacle. he steps aside with a chuckle when a severed limbs comes flying too close. oh, do you need a hand, well too fucken bad. ]

📺 text.

un; v

I'm working. Don't FUCKEN text me while I'm working.

[ he doesn't look to see WHO is texting him,
but he doesn't care at the moment, and i'm afraid your phone sparks in direct result to his ire. ]

[bugbeverage]

Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score!

[ He finally withdraws from Fizzarolli's space and props his fists on his hips, one popped out to the side as he looks the clown up and down. This guy is fun to mess with, but one thing shoves all BJ's other impulses aside--the fact that he is still lonely. ]

Fine. Whaddaya say we ruin someone else's day, huh? This Hell's gotta be full of people teetering on the brink of insanity--a little scare might do just the trick!

[helluvamess]

Maybe because you won't be here long?

[He's spitballing, but maybe it'll help reassure Fizz all the same.]

Sometimes people show up and then they get sent back faster than others. They said this whole thing's a fucking mistake so maybe you're on the top of the list and shit. Be back outta here in no time.

[helluvamess]

The voice dick for brains. It's not clever by the way.

[Yeah, none of that looks like a cover charge to him.]

Guess either you're taking a deal if you wanna see all this tits and ass or you're fucking off to go have a sad wank in an alleyway by yourself.

[bugbeverage]

[ Almost subconciously, Beetlejuice brings a hand to his throat. ]

I got an addiction, get off my case!

[twominutes]

That was the most polite way I could say '████ off, no, never.'

[ he squints at the new offer though, and he's genuinely kind of mad that it sounds fun. but a distraction...

he waves a hand in a little circle like he's contemplating it. ]

Okay, okay, say I want to do some pranks. What does 'scare' entail? I like to know what I'm getting into.

Text; FashionableVee

[respectless]

[Here, Vox. Have some middle finger emojis that look suspiciously like Velvette's hands literally coming off of your cell phone screen like little holograms.]

Don't you spark me, Vox! Fuck you!

[twominutes]

No one knows who I am here but you, so I doubt I'm at the top of their list. Not that I'm complaining about not being bothered for once, ████.

[ but he slumps a little, the conversation somehow draining some of the tension out of him. he curls their tails together tighter before he speaks again. ]

Is anyone else we know here?

1/3

[technicaldifficulties]

[ fuck. ]

Re: Text; FashionableVee

[technicaldifficulties]

[ he leans back to avoid taking a middle finger to the face. wups. he should have checked the alert at all a little closer. ]

[bugbeverage]

Oh, you know. A little--

[ Beetlejuice's face splits open at the seams to reveal a visceral mass of writhing snakes. They quickly retract and the angels' face reforms. He taps his chin thoughtfully.]

Now that I think of it...they might be expecting that kinda thing down here. We gotta really think outside the box, Fizzerinski.

[helluvamess]

Oh shit, you should have said that earlier!

[Said with a BRIGHT SMILE. Before it becomes a toothy grin.]

Addicts are quadruple charge.