TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

Beetlejuice | Beetlejuice the Musical | heaven-bound

[bugbeverage]

[HI MY NAME IS: LAWRENCE]

[A very stunned angel can be found floating around the garden party. His suit is striped in white and sequined gold and little feathered wings flutter to hold him in place as he hovers near the pie and tries to decide what to do with himself. Though he has been given a heavenly makeover, he still doesn't smell great so maybe don't stand too close.]


[IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL]

[After getting (gently) kicked out of the zoo for making a ruckus because he's super overstimulated right now, Beetlejuice steps out of the hellevator onto some streets that better suit him. Hell sprawls before him with all its vices on display.]

[The angel rubs his grubby hands together and stalks toward a strip club.]

Now this is more like it!


[NETWORK]

UN: bioexorcist

who up?????

if the zoo bans me for hollering at the animals i will face god and walk backwards into hell

[twominutes]

[ oh, hell no.

fizz's first thought when he hears his own voice behind him is that there's one of those fucking dolls around, and he's not happy about it because it means someone who knows who he is is around and he'd rather, frankly, die.

he whips around, ready to bolt if necessary, but it's just. some dude in an ugly suit. (who is he to judge, really? he's got an entire clown getup on.) ]

Hey! What the ████ is up with your voice?!

[ it's the SAME VOICE, fizzarolli. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Fizzarolli's voice catches him off guard. He pauses in the middle of the street, his sparkly boots hanging a few inches above the pavement as his wings buzz to rotate him around because he is too lazy to turn his neck.]

[He doesn't recognize the being who has addressed him, but the clown's voice is enough to get his suspicion up.]

What are you supposed to be?

[twominutes]

Me? I'm Fizzarolli, who the ████ are you supposed to be?

[ he's even pointing accusingly with one of his extendo-arms. he has not extended it currently though, so it's normal arm length.

this is a disaster. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice ignores the pointing finger and puffs himself up. ]

I am the world's number one bio-exorcist, finally free from exile and receiving his rightful reward of tits to stare at!

[ He sweeps an arm towards the club. Something's nagging him though. He tilts his head and gives Fizzarolli a squinty squint. ]

Knock it off.

Hell

[helluvamess]

[Unfortunately for the new angel, there's a cover charge for this particular club and while the bouncer is small, he does have a gun in one hand which is immediately waved under the guy's nose.]

Hey, not so fast sparkle dick. I'm gonna need to see some green for you to get inside, that or a deal, your choice. But I'm feeling vindictive so keep that in mind.

[bugbeverage]

[ BJ approaches the door ghoul with all the confidence of a fool. He gives the gun a dismissive glance before giving his widest yellow smile. ]

Aw c'mon, pal! Lemme in, it's my birthday! I'm the birthday boy! I got a whole party inside waiting for me.

[helluvamess]

Oh well in that case--

[The gun lowers juuuust enough to suggest that it might have worked, and then it's back up and almost shoved up a nostril.]

Fuck that shit, double cover for birthdays asshole, triple for that shitty ass fucking clown imitation and thinking that I won't notice!

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice scrunches his head into his shoulders so that he doesn't get a pistol shoved into his brain. He rummages in the pockets of his striped jacket. ]

I don't know what you're talking about. Ah-!

[ He draws his hand from his coat and opens it to reveal a paper clip, a scratched lotto ticket, and an unwrapped caramel chew. ]

Oh, huh...

If the zoo bans him it's for that smell

[succinainteasy]

[ And wouldn't you know it, the door to the strip club opens right before he gets there, though the woman standing in the doorway doesn't make an attempt to move out of the way. Instead, expectantly, both eyebrows pop over the top of her sunglasses before she takes a large swig out of the flask she has in tow. The little bit of liquid that threatens to drip from the corner of her mouth is quickly swept up with her tongue.

Is that offensive smell him? Christ, she doesn't get paid enough to deal with this. Where the hell was Tex?

Rather than explode on him, she lifts her sunglasses and aims to root him to the spot with her most coquettish smile. Maybe if she plays nice, he'll stop wheezing in her general direction. ]

Are you going to make me walk around you?

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice doesn't stray from his path but he does stop with one foot lifted as though he'd been walking. Heeheehoohoo who was this??? He manifests a hat so he can tip it. ]

What's your hurry, sweetcheeks?"

[succinainteasy]

[ She just stares at the hat. Was that supposed to impress her? ]

Isn't it obvious? I came, I saw, and I conquered. If I'm stuck in this dumpster fire, I'm going to find a better place than this to hang out at. I have standards.

[ Which is exactly why she'll be stepping around him, blowing him a kiss before she grabs his hat and plops it on top of his head, tugging it down over his eyes. ]

Enjoy your lap dance, big guy.

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice mimes snatching her kiss out of the air and planting it against his own lips before letting out a little yip of laughter when she tugs the hat over his eyes. He's quick to lift it back up and give her a grin that dimples his whiskery cheeks. ]

Hey, if this place blows, I could show you a good time! You look like a gal with class. I can do class. I can also do all the positions baby, you just name it.

➥ walk backwards into hell

[nestingdevil]

[The thing about opening a place (especially an establishment that hasn't seen traffic in a while) is that it takes a lot of heavy lifting. Which is why he's been spending most of his days (nights?) deep in the city. The building's starting to look more passable, all things considered. There's still a window that's boarded up with a crisscross of graffiti-covered wood, but all in all, it's getting there.]

[But even Sin needs a break. And what better place than the local strip club?]

[Greed stretches his legs as he makes his way towards a growing line forming at the door. Most of the crowd aren't surprising - the horns, teeth, and sharp points making for a distinct type of clientele. But what does stand out is the halo. A single, floating halo in a sea of the complete opposite. The Sin clacks his teeth together.]

Not so bad, huh? [He tilts his head to the side to get a better look at the man. He doesn't look like he belongs in Heaven, does he? But then again, the ones in charge aren't exactly very good at their job. And looks could easily be deceiving.] This your first time down here, or are you one of the new ones?

[bugbeverage]

[ No Greed, you right. ]

[Beetlejuice looks up from trying to squeeze through and break in line. When he spots Greed he gives him a yellow grin.]

Fresh off the boat--I was already dead, so imagine my surprise! HAH! The Hell I knew was nothing like this! What's your name, pal?

[nestingdevil]

Ha - ! Well aren't you just full of it. [Greed's grin is all teeth in return.] And you wouldn't be the only one, friend. Though I expected the flames of Hell to be a lot hotter than this.

[The Sin touches two of his claws to his collar.] Greed. It's a pleasure.

[bugbeverage]

Greed.

[ When he says Greed's name he shows all his teeth, utterly delighted at someone having such a name. He looks at the way the other man is dressed and the way he carries himself. It makes him feel at home. ]

Oh, you and I are gonna be best pals, I can tell. Call me BJ.

Garden; I HAD TO. She got the soap and the hose you dirty mofo

[orkin]

[ How else is she going to give him a bath if she doesn't stand close enough to get to him?

Without warning, the sound of two buckets of water hitting the ground comes from behind BJ. If he turns around, he'll find the pocket-sized Sinner standing there with a loofah, a bar of soap and an unparalleled sense of determination on her face. As if she were wielding a blade, she thrusts it skyward and points it at him. ]

No dirt in the house! You've gotta be clean!

[ Her battle cry uttered she dunks the loofah in the water, suds it up, and proceeds to lunge at him while giggling like a maniac. ]

huehuehue

[bugbeverage]

[ The ka-thunk and ker-slosh does get his attention. He was thinking hard about that pie but he twists his head one hundred and eighty degrees to look at her. He hardly has time to process what he's seeing before she pounces. ]

EEEYYYAAAAAAGHHH!

[ BJ's body spins around to match the direction his head is facing and he throws up his arms to defend himself but it is just too fucking late. He falls backwards into the table splattering delicious pie everywhere. ]

[orkin]

[ The literal soundtrack to their bubbly tango as she attacks him with the loofah. Like a rabid animal, she pounces and proceeds to scrub his face clean with expert precision. She is so invested in the task that she doesn't pay any mind to the pies. That's not to say she won't be back to clean it up later.

Looking puzzled, she looks between him and the loofah. Why isn't the smell going away? ]

Needs more bleach!

[ Then, as if she hasn't been cleaning him without consent: ]

I need to get the bleach. I'll be right back! [ Now would be the time to make a run for it as she skips back over to the 2nd bucket, humming a song under her breath. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice lets out a continuous scream as she scrubs him. He kicks his feet and claws at her with his blunt, chipped nails. There's soap in his eyes! He can't see! Fuck! Fuck! It stings! ]

[As soon as she's off of him he flips over onto his belly and crawls across the table like a lizard spitting and spluttering. With his boots on the ground on the other side of the table, Beetlejuice scrubs at his eyes furiously with a sleeve. As soon as he can see he glares at the one-eyed creature that attacked him.]

Buzz off lady, this stench is six hundred years in the making!

hi my name is lawrence. do not look at me do not perceive me do not @ me i will not apologize

[visualgags]

[ well, this guy's got a demon tail and some cute little horns popping out of his hair. very helpful. truly hell is where he belongs.

for now though, he's floating on his back above the pie table, looking at it skeptically as his tail lashes. then he sees. himself?

hmmmm, definitely not one of his copies, looks too different and not punny. he rolls onto his stomach midair, propping his chin on his hand, and asks: ]

Look, I know I'm the most fashionable ghost in the Neitherworld, but can you stop biting my style?

[ when he says it, clicky fake teeth appear from nothing and bite at the hems of The Other Guy's jacket. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice stops dissociating long enough to look at to spy an equally handsome creature in stripes--not something that happens every day! However, he's being called a poser, so actually you know what, fuck this guy. ]

Hey! I could say the same thing about you!

[ He ignores the compy teeth making more holes in his suit in favor of reaching up to yank this Other Juice's tail. ]

[visualgags]

Hey! Watch the merchandise, wise guy!

[ he flicks his tail out of the other juice's hand, still looking down at him, then seems to consider. ]

Though... It does mean you have pretty good taste...

[bugbeverage]

Of course I have good taste, I'm me! Who the hell'r you, wiseguy?

[ He doesn't have a tail to lash but his wings DO get poofy. ]