TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[twominutes]

Maybe. Oh! I mean, ████, thanks! [ he PERKS UP VISIBLY. his song was good? his song was good... the song where he told mammon to fuck off was good... wowee...

oh, but then he shakes his head, like, immediately. ]

Ohhhhh-ho-ho no, I'm not looking for aaaany contracts or work prospects or ideas or projects or anything! Nope! I am capital-R Retired from show business. [ a beat. ] You know, for the most part. Except for the shows at Ozzie's. Or if I get bored. But I figure Oz can handle any of that for me, I'm nnnnnot great with the business aspects, just the show aspects. Artists, am I right?

[ he waves a hand a little, grinning all the same. ]

I really appreciate it, though. Both things, the game show thing and the looking for Oz thing. You'd think he'd be easy to find, right? Guy's huge, but here I am, looking for a needle in a haystack.

too real

[twominutes]

Everyone knew we were ████ing, that wasn't the problem.

[ it was all the rest. the mushy parts. well no, now everyone knows the mushy parts so those aren't a problem anymore.

he leans into it when she links their arms, wrapping his around hers a couple extra times, then it's time to skedaddle for sure.

then, he solemnly places his free hand over his heart and looks down. ]

A tragedy. Literally anything I could tell you would get censored. I tried to tell a guy earlier and it was absolutely ████ing impossible to get the point across. Or, well, I guess he did get the point, but it was all like 'well his ████ is ████ and ████ ███████! And then we ████ ████ ██████████!!! And holy ████ am I right? ████ that's some good █████!' and he was very supportive of my speech.

1/3

[princess_of_hell]

I haven't heard of it, but I think I get the meaning.

[... She doesn't know how to gracefully segue to what she wants to say next, but she's never let that stop her.]

2/3

[princess_of_hell]

Sooooo... you probably guessed-- well, anyone could guess-- but you probably guessed, I'm going to continue offering my redemption lessons and activities!

3/3

[princess_of_hell]

Do you want to... you know... continue to... you know...

...help?

[twominutes]

Yeah, that essentially the opening remark. 'This Greed is hot.' Which, fair! She wasn't wrong. Girl has her priorities in order.

[ he's grinning a little more easily now; it's easy enough to drop into conversation with a focus, as he takes another drag of the cigarette. ] But yeah, the 'other' Hell. I've seen a couple people from back home so far, each as deeply confused as the last!

[ and... look, he's a simple guy. if someone that doesn't even know mammon is going to shit talk him, fizz is ALL over it. ] Yeah, Mammon is... I used to look up to him, he was the best of the best, but you know what they say, get used and abused by a guy for a decade and the sheen dims a little! Now he's just some lazy ████ that profits off of hurting people. It's me, I'm people.

[ he bounces a bit on the balls of his feet, gathering himself together for the intro. ]

Normally I'd be really dramatic and fancy about this, but I'm in full cigarette mode right now so I'm going to spare you the literal clown show. My name's Fizzarolli. Hell's greatest clown ten years running, blah blah blah. I'm retired now!

[twominutes]

I dunno, like I said, not a fun messy. Well, Bee's fun messy, but she's dating some guy. Dunno if they're exclusive, you know? Not everyone's like Oz 'n me.

[ he considers. reeeaaally considers. ]

We worked together first. My ex-boss introduced us and it went from there. I really lucked out. Guess I gotta thank that jackhole for something.

[twominutes]

Hey, nothing wrong with giving it a shot while we can, right?

[ he squints: he has no overlord shit to worry about, obviously, so he has no horse in that race. ]

Dunno, I think gunning for your power to help people you care about's pretty ████ing cool.

[twominutes]

You really haven't seen people fail at being clowns, huh? No, not everyone could do it. Not even if you take into account them not doing it well.

[ a huff of breath. ]

Color me reeeaaal curious. What is art to you, then?

[twominutes]

Hmmmmm, okay, that could be anybody.

[ girl, please treasure YOURSELF more. saving the bullet? what a capital F Freak we got in here.

but, at the same time: ]

Okay, but, ████, bad███ response. I have to hand that to you.

[twominutes]

I feel like it's one of those 'sorry to everyone that ended up ████ing stuck here, unless you for some reason have an even ████tier life back home, in which case, wow, sorry for that part,' kind of situations, you know? Like, hopefully ████ gets sorted out! For everyone!

[ a shrug. ]

At least, for now, I sort of know what Hell's supposed to be like.

[twominutes]

Eh, comes with the territory of being a performer! You get famous, people bother you, you get more famous, people get weirder about bothering you... So really, this place does have a plus side, now that I think about it.

[ he sort of glances around like he's checking for people lurking, then looks back at her. ]

Okay, full disclosure! I'm supposed to be in Hell. That's literally where I was born. Or, my Hell, not this one. But I'm here with a halo and everything and whoooo knows why? Stuff here is weird, sister, and I can't say anything about what Heaven should be like because I've never been here, or there, before, but still.

[ why does he talk so fast? ]

It's a lot! Things are wild. Anyway, I'm Fizzarolli.

[twominutes]

I guess taking advantage of the perks while I can is a good plan.

[ he rubs his chin, considering. ]

I did get my limb waterproofing checked over really recently, I could go in a spa...

[twominutes]

[ oops, *nine queieves. narration can't count.

but he smiles, a little wistfully, then nods. ]

Yeah. As long as they get taken care of, they'll be there when we get back to our respective homes.

[twominutes]

Oh, I'm well aware! Look at me, I'm a huge ████ and yet here I am with little wingies and a halo, it's nuts.

[ BUT. ]

That said, this isn't the time. There's a time and place to try and change people's minds and when people are all hopped up on fight juice isn't it.

[twominutes]

[ wow, he found the one person that didn't know... ]

... Yeah, we are. [ then: ] Well, I'm glad you still had a good time! ████ed up if we'd ruined your night, in retrospect. Definitely still not the right venue, but hey! I can't judge.

[ then, a little more carefully: ]

Have you seen your...?

[ wife. has he seen his wife around. SOMEONE must have their partner with them, right? ]

[twominutes]

No, being able to do cool █████ [ i forgot to censor him last time... forgive me ] matters a lot. But, you know, since I got here? We were together before I showed up here. Now he's not here.

[princess_of_hell]

Oh no. I wasn't commenting on you! Did it sound that way? I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! Because that's totally not what I meant. At all.

[ BUT... ]

Okay, maybe that was a bit overly optimistic on my part.

[outrageon]

See? That's the spirit. Seize the day, or whatever.

[He's lucky! They probably won't even be rude to him just because he's originally from hell. Probably. Can they tell he's still an imp? Eh, she doesn't actually care.]

Oh, but if you go to that one place they offer this soak called "Midnight Glisten", skip it. It makes everything in a two-yard radius smell like a grandma.

[succinainteasy]

If he works with you, I think he can handle it.

[ There it is, show her those teeth, girl. ]

So, put your money where your mouth is, bitch, and show me this talent of yours. The anticipation is killing me, let's see if you're a natural or if you just got lucky.

No rehearsal, no gimmicks. This pony is always ready to ride, are you?

[succinainteasy]

Contrary to the popular belief among your crew that I'm an idiot, I can read a room. I was at Ozzie's; I saw the two of you together. If she was here, you horny little gremlins would be fucking under a table or something, not playing hide and seek with me. You couldn't keep your hands off of each other.

[ Well, she wasn't going to until he said something. Worse yet, when she leans down to look at him, her form returns to normal. Ta-ta, horse legs. ]

That sounds like a challenge, little guy. Should we see how long it takes for them to get here? I'll even give you a five second head start.

[succinainteasy]

If she made you lose your cool, then she got what she deserved. She's literally a vulture waiting for some poor, unfortunate soul to kick the bucket so she can get the first piece. Look who runs the game, did you really think you were gonna have a heart-to-heart with her and she'd welcome you with open arms? Things don't work like that down here, no matter how much you might want them to.

The sooner you get that, the less it'll hurt later.

[ Hell is a revolving door of disappointment, or maybe she's just jaded at this point. ]

No, you're not, redemption is just wasted on me.

I got lost on YT watching clips of him omg I laughed so hard

[succinainteasy]

Are you always this upbeat about clerical errors? Most people would be losing their shit in an alley right now, wondering how they ended up here of all places.

[ What a gentleman, or a sucker. She hasn't decided yet but at least he's pleasant enough company. After this encounter, she isn't eager for a repeat performance. ]

Tell you what, I'll save you a seat at my next concert.

[princess_of_hell]

You can't put all the blame on her! I... I didn't keep a cool head.

[Charlie frowns. The praise is damning to her. Things were so different back then. The only one who believed in her was Vaggie, and the future looked so bleak... it was only when Alastor, Husk, and Niffty showed up with their renovations, help, and defense that she started to get more confidence.]

--Okay, I can understand why you would think that, but you know... a lot of demons have thought that! And... a lot of demons have let that keep them away.

But, the ones who try, they really start to do better things. --And, it's not me doing it for them. Every guest at the hotel chooses to be there.

[succinainteasy]

[ She can feel the heat radiating from his palms before they find their purchase, a dull, welcomed ache that only further solidifies the fact that she picked the right partner this time around. This isn't a fight between predator and prey but a slow, purposeful waltz between two predators who have played the game long enough to know both the rules and how to draw out the climax.

Her lips pull back into just enough of a smile that her fangs are on display, the tip of her tongue gliding over one of them. ]

Oh, I think you've got potential. Show me what you got, Greed.

[ His eyes don't go unnoticed, reminding her of two dying embers coaxed briefly back to life by a breath. More than just a distraction, this is someone who knows what he wants and goes for it—something she can appreciate. Show him she does, the hum of interest a dull roar lingering just beneath the beat. There's a sweetness in the air, a sharp contrast to the hunger barely contained behind her eyes.

A soft sigh follows the contact, and she tips her head back a bit more to expose her throat. All the while her tail is carefully winding itself around the base of Greed's own, tightening just enough to show him she means business. Finally, she lifts a hand and gestures for him to come closer while parting her lips. The spade on the end of her tail drags itself along the thickest section of his tail, following the beat of the song currently blaring overhead. ]