TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[deerlisteners]

[Alastor is putting on the charm, handing out flyers and sipping from a glass of beautiful amber rye whiskey, when a familiar, gruff voice calls out to him. He whirls and his smile widens]

Husker! Well, look at you, my good man. Another mis-sort on behalf of the little muttonchops, I see. [he rolls up his flyers and taps the halo with them] Not sure it suits you.

[grumpface]

I definitely didn't ask for it. This whole fake version of heaven and hell p♦♥♣♦♦ me off, Especially that ♥♦♣♠in' censorin' they're doin'.

[Husk lets out a frustrated sigh.]

At this rate, I'd be willin' to drink pure alcohol. ♣♥♠♦ the booze. Just skip straight past it.

[deerlisteners]

[Alastor tries to stop himself from laughing at the censoring, but he can't. It sputters out as a snort]

Oh my... Well, it's not permanent, at least. There's a very good chance they'll have this all sorted out in just a few days.

[grumpface]

This place ain't like Charlie's hotel. There's no point in bein' optimistic about any of this bull♠♣♥♦. If anythin', given how poorly-run everythin' is around here, the Vees will have a much easier time gamin' whatever system these ♣♥♠♦♥♣bags pulled out of their ♥♠♠.

[deerlisteners]

Oh, please. There's no "system" to game here. This Hell is completely toothless. Soul contracts have almost no meaning, there are no Overlords, no extermination, free travel between realms... So just relax! Try to enjoy yourself. You'll get wrinkles from frowning so much.

[grumpface]

[That gets Husk to do a double-take at Alastor. Soul contracts have no meaning here?]

...So does that mean mine to you is...?

[deerlisteners]

Null and void. [his smile is more of a sneer. He's not happy about it, exactly... but it also means his contract is not active, which he is VERY happy about] Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, Husker. I am surely enjoying mine.

[grumpface]

[Null and void.]

[Null and void... Husk had been trapped under the order of Alastor for a long time. He'd been teased, humiliated, angered, demeaned by the radio demon. Husk hates how annoying you are. Husk hates you a lot.

So why is Husk feeling... something? He doesn't know what, but it's definitely a something feeling. The look on Husk's face is... conflicted. He has no idea what to say to this.]

...Okay.

[deerlisteners]

[It's funny, how easily one can see emotions and thoughts as they pass through someone's mind by just watching them, when you know what you're looking for. It's why Alastor is always so careful about his own expressions.]

... But when we return, everything will be back to how it was. Keep that in mind. [which may be why Alastor isn't gunning to find a way back. And he'd rather change the subject!!] Oh! Angel is around here, somewhere.

[grumpface]

[One of the first things Husk did was to send a general text through his phone asking if there were people he knew that were here. Velvette mentioned Angel Dust was here, and with Alastor now confirming it... Husk shoves all the thoughts of the null and void deal with Alastor and focuses on Angel Fust.

One of Husk's paws lightly curls up into a fist.]

...I may need to find him.

[Before... before Valentino gets to him. Alastor might find Husk's face harder to read this instant as he just put on his poker face.]

[deerlisteners]

Oh? Off to be his knight in fuzzy armor? [he chuckles] His deal with that porn-hawking moth is off, too. Clean slates all around. Do with that information what you will.

[grumpface]

Yeah, I got that part.

[It stands to reason if Husk wasn't owned by Alastor anymore, then Angel wouldn't be owned by Valentino.]

But I ain't a knight. Just someone who doesn't wanna see him lose all the progress he's made. And a good drinkin' buddy.

[deerlisteners]

Of course, of course~ [he pats Husk on the shoulder -- a little less demeaning than on the head] Good luck to you, then.

[grumpface]

[Husk notices that the pat is on the shoulder rather than on the head. It strikes Husk a little weirdly that Alastor didn't take that opportunity, but Husk recognizes this and takes a couple steps away from Alastor to make sure to deny that opportunity.]

I may need it, boss.

[...Husk isn't aware of what he just called you, Alastor. He's too used to calling you that.]

No tellin' whether or not he'll accept or be upset, but... you know me. I'm a gamblin' man.

[deerlisteners]

Oh ho! Just try not to run afoul of that moth pimp. But he does have such terrible eyesight. You may be able to use that to your advantage. Stack the deck a bit, hm?

[Alastor is being weirdly helpful...]

[grumpface]

[Husk freezes and blinks a couple times.]

...Y-... Yeah, Angel already told me Valentino can't count three bills for shit. Why you bein' so helpful...?

[Whatever happened to "behind every demon is a lost cause"?]

[deerlisteners]

[he puts a hand to his chest and laughs]

Why, that's because I'm on vacation, and in just a delightful mood! I'm enjoying my... freedom, to do what I want, when I want. I think you should do the same.

[grumpface]

[Husk is about to continue to protest. On vacation? Again? But... When Huskl stops and thinks about it... he'd basically went through six months with no days off. On top of that? He doesn't have to worry about Alastor demeaning him and pulling him wherever he wants. Even though Husk is still used to Alastor being his boss...]

...You know what, ♠♣♦♦ it. You're right. Need a vacation after all the s♥♥♣ you put me through...

[deerlisteners]

Ha HA! [have a big ol' slap on the back, Husk] That's the spirit, my censored pal. After all, what choice do we have? Until those little lamb chops get our paperwork sorted, we're stuck here! Might as well enjoy ourselves.