heckinooc | TDM 001!!

TDM 001!!

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

garden level

[ waking up dead is NOT something that fizzarolli expected to be happening to him today, and, predictably, he kind of panics. not externally—okay, externally. he rapid-fires questions to the cherub that stuck a sticker on him until he has to stop because said cherub bails to jam a sticker on someone else's chest. ]

████!!!

[ he pauses. squints. ]

████?

[ a realization. ]

I'M CENSORED? Get back here, you little winged ███████!

[ he flings one arm up in frustration, only for the metal limb to clang into—

—a halo? ]

What the ████?!

[ he's SO mad that when someone comes up behind him, he grabs a pie off one of the tables and wheels around, going full clown-mode as he slams it into their face. he did not, in fact, check what kind of pie it was first. ]

hell level

[ well, the worst part (right now) is that he sticks out like a sore thumb even more than usual here. that being, of course, since while he's still in his 'funky cool clown' outfit, it's completely white and gold themed instead of his normal colorful nonsense. also there's the halo, but he's trying not to think about that. he's getting looks and he notices them almost more than he ever has, but he has shit to do, people to find.

he steps right up to a promising prospect and, before they even turn around, says: ]

Hey, have you seen a big guy around? Blue/purple theming, rooster tail, one main face in the middle with a little face on either side...

[ he is making various gestures as he says all of this like he's explaining size and shape, but if you've never seen his giant rooster boyfriend asmodeus, they make absolutely 0 sense. ]

heaven level

[ okay, fuck it all. there's a beach, and he's going to try and chill out on it. so that's what he's doing: laying on a chair on the beach with comically large sunglasses on. he'll only notice if someone's shadow blocks his sweet sweet sun rays, whereupon he'll crack open his eyes and squint. ]

Can I help you?

texting

un: partyclown

hey, can a guy just get a roster or some ████ here? i'm looking for someone.

[Arrival]

[Penny has been wandering around the garden, confused by her new appearance. She has Flareon-like ears, a firey mane, and a large firey tail - which looks almost fluffy! But maybe you shouldn't touch it.]

I've been turned into a Pokemon... I'm turning into a Pokemon... don't worry Penny, that's probably normal. There's probably a scientific explanation to that - gahhh no there's not what's going on!!

[Yes thank you she's doing well why do you ask.]

[Sweet as pie]

[Normally Penny is the one with the rough edges, but she does have a sweet tooth! Which is why she helps herself to the sweet potato pie - a perfect treat for her oncoming mental breakdown! But after eating it, she feels... different. She wants to hug you. She wants physical contact with someone - even if it's just holding hands.]

Um... h-hey. Is there something weird with the food here...?

[Hell level]

[After witnessing all the fighting, Penny decides she wants no part of that - free injuries or not, and immediately heads to the arcade. You can find her dancing on a Dance, Demon, Dance! machine, getting a decently high score.]

[ There’s a distinct ‘pop’ as she blows a bubble with her gum, lowering her shades to give him a brief once over. New threads and wings but anyone worth their weight in salt would be able to pick Fizzarolli out of a crowd.

With an all-knowing smile: ]

You’re down here dressed like that, asking about a guy with a rooster tail? You know about the freaks down here, they’d probably put one on just to get a taste. You’d have better luck drawing them a picture, make sure to use red crayon, they’re— [ On the bottom of the totem pole? A few cards short of a full deck? Not as cool as them? She settles for making a so-so gesture with her hand before continuing on with a laugh that nearly becomes a purr. ]

Why not just call him what he is— your boyfriend? For the people in the back of this bargain brand shithole.

[ He might be ignoring the halo but she certainly isn’t. Without missing a beat she reaches out and raps a nail against it, an eyebrow raised. ]

When did you change teams? Or is the big guy into this?

Edited 2024-03-17 18:18 (UTC)

[ Look, she makes frequent trips topside, of course she knows what Pokémon is. Is she going to take the time to coddle this wayward soul and tell her everything is going to be alright?

Hell no. Charity week is canceled on account of being transported to the freaking Garden.

After a moment, and brief at that, of internal deliberation she turns her face towards her. Listen to the alcoholic pop star, kid. ]

You could always turn into something worse.

Oh, ████. [ an annoyed look crosses his face at the censoring, but what can you do? ] Hey, girl.

[ but then he shakes his head, shrugging. it's a little dramatic with the extendo-arms, but when isn't it? ]

It's not like it should be here. You're the only person I recognize, no one knows who I ███████ am, which is frankly something I'm really enjoying right now, and I can't get ahold of him no matter what I try on this phone they gave me.

[ when she taps his halo he scowls and flaps a hand at the encroaching finger, but there's no actual connection. he's just. fussing. it's big baby hours in fizzarolli town. ]

I can't get rid of this Satan████ed halo no matter what I do. I have no idea what happened, I just woke up like this, and not even in a commercial-beautiful, perfect makeup and hair 'I just woke up like this to make my coffee' ████ kind of way!

[ yeah, fizzarolli is not about to touch the fire tail. he's good, thanks. also, don't touch strangers without their permission or whatever. in any case, she does look pretty cute as a partial furry, though he is kind of interested in the fact that she's not a full hellhound. or maybe she is going to be?

anyway he sort of waves her over in lieu of grabbing her shoulder or anything. ]

Hey, hey, panicking isn't going to fix anything.

[ he just finished panicking for the past hour. do NOT listen to him. ]

Welcome to Hell (Level)

A. We ran out of space on the welcome banner, oops
[One minute you're on top of the world, hovering above it as the most powerful version of yourself that you'll probably ever be. The next... well, we all have to go sometime, right? Talk about a humbling experience, though. Twilight isn't taking this well, to say the least-- grappling between shame for her magic-drunk rampage in front of every school in the tri-state area AND the fact that it somehow got her launched straight to hell? Her lifetime M.O. has been being the goody-two-shoes! She's a mathlete for christ's sake, and now she's sporting devil wings. Suffice it to say, she's really not having a good time with any of it.]

I can't be dead! [She groans, dragging her hands beneath her glasses and down her face.] I have a final tomorrow.

B. Meanwhile...
[Or maybe you catch her a bit later, when she's sneaking around the Hotel, trying to get a good lay of the land. The more that she's around this place the more angry she's getting, the more she wants to participate in Hell-endorsed violence, but no! She's putting her (now not-metaphorical) hoof down! She's spent her life putting things like friendship and fun on the back-burner, she can do the same for.. (checks notes) ripping people apart.]

[So maybe you run into her, literally-- or maybe you just catch her being a master of subtlety and taking notes on what she's seeing around in the casino and such, Harriet the Spy-style.]

C. Vinegar Pie
[Popping over to Heaven, she already feels much more at home. This is where she's supposed to be for sure. Two clerical errors in one day? Twilight almost wants to stay dead just to fix this place up! Call it the world's most convoluted extracurricular activity. Perhaps in advance of this she invites herself right in to the party, serving herself the first slice of pie she sees. Beggars can't be choosers!]

[Tap her on the shoulder or get her attention if you want her to display how much she for real belongs in Heaven : )]

D. Inbox
un;twi_sparkle
This is an open communication to anyone able to connect to this server. Seeking assistance from science-minded individuals willing to collaborate. Thoughts on portals?

[HI MY NAME IS: LAWRENCE]

[A very stunned angel can be found floating around the garden party. His suit is striped in white and sequined gold and little feathered wings flutter to hold him in place as he hovers near the pie and tries to decide what to do with himself. Though he has been given a heavenly makeover, he still doesn't smell great so maybe don't stand too close.]

[IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL]

[After getting (gently) kicked out of the zoo for making a ruckus because he's super overstimulated right now, Beetlejuice steps out of the hellevator onto some streets that better suit him. Hell sprawls before him with all its vices on display.]

[The angel rubs his grubby hands together and stalks toward a strip club.]

Now this is more like it!

[NETWORK]

UN: bioexorcist

who up?????

Edited 2024-03-17 21:06 (UTC)

I-I guess? I could turn into a Muk. At least they said they're working on getting us out of here?

[Surely they'll get home soon... right?]

I swear if I go home with this tail, I'll... I'm not really sure what to do, but it's NOT really something I can go waving around school!

[She comes closer, still in major shock.]

I'm - I'm not panicking? I think. I think I'm not panicking. I'm just using science and grounded reality to believe that none of this is happening right now.

[See? She's good. Not having a panic attack right now. It's alllllllll good. ~~Lies~~]

[That voice is familiar enough that Blitzø is already hightailing it towards the origin, shoving through new arrivals with various shouts of "MOVE FATASS" and some light bodyslamming. But it's absolutely who he thought it was and, weird new outfit aside, he's oddly relieved to see a familiar face.]

Fizz--

[SPLAT.]

[There's a pause as Blitzø processes and pie drips down his face. It's been a fucking long ass time since the pie gag ok. His tongue flicks out to scoop up part of it - was that fucking sweet potato? - and then he grabs Fizz and just starts shaking him.]

THE FUCKING PIE GAG ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

[ sorry blitzø, he didn't realize it was you before he did the pie gag.

however, once he's getting properly yelled at and shaken he squeaks (in surprise, obviously) and starts to carefully try to wipe some of the pie off the other imp's face. ]

████! I didn't realize it was you! Also, what the ████ is going on?!

[ oh, hell no.

fizz's first thought when he hears his own voice behind him is that there's one of those fucking dolls around, and he's not happy about it because it means someone who knows who he is is around and he'd rather, frankly, die.

he whips around, ready to bolt if necessary, but it's just. some dude in an ugly suit. (who is he to judge, really? he's got an entire clown getup on.) ]

Hey! What the ████ is up with your voice?!

[ it's the SAME VOICE, fizzarolli. ]

[The bleeps make him stop at least, and he's half wondering if he's had a stroke somehow and hasn't realised.]

The fuck is wrong with your voice?

[Look they can get to the rest. This is more important, clearly.]

[ Fizzarolli's voice catches him off guard. He pauses in the middle of the street, his sparkly boots hanging a few inches above the pavement as his wings buzz to rotate him around because he is too lazy to turn his neck.]

[He doesn't recognize the being who has addressed him, but the clown's voice is enough to get his suspicion up.]

What are you supposed to be?

That's what you're ███████ worried about?! I'm censored here, ███████, and I can't say ████ about ████ and it's really pissing me off! ████!!!!

[ yeah okay by the time blitzø had gotten to him he'd just barely gotten over his earlier panicking, so now it's sort of ramping up again a little. his tail has even started to curl around his own legs tightly, protectively—not from blitzø, but his own stress. ]

Take it from a guy who knows panicking, you're definitely panicking.

[ he chews on the inside of his cheek though, then furrows his brow. ]

Well, I'm not a scientist, and this is definitely happening. Sorry to burst your bubble about this ████████ being fake or a dream.

Edited (happy?? wtf is wrong w my typing fingers) 2024-03-17 22:15 (UTC)

Me? I'm Fizzarolli, who the ████ are you supposed to be?

[ he's even pointing accusingly with one of his extendo-arms. he has not extended it currently though, so it's normal arm length.

this is a disaster. ]

[Yeah, he can recognise the signs even after this long, and he tugs Fizz into a hug which just... seems like a normal thing to do right now. It's probably best not to think about it.]

Fuck, I'm sorry, Fizz. This has gotta be a lot for you, then I just started yelling at you and not helping...

[Fizz would probably be forgiven for thinking that this isn't actually Blitzø at this point.]

[ Beetlejuice ignores the pointing finger and puffs himself up. ]

I am the world's number one bio-exorcist, finally free from exile and receiving his rightful reward of tits to stare at!

[ He sweeps an arm towards the club. Something's nagging him though. He tilts his head and gives Fizzarolli a squinty squint. ]

Knock it off.

[ YEAH UHHHHHHHHHH HE KIND OF TENSES IN THE HUG BECAUSE HE'S SO CONFUSED? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

this can't be blitzø, right? the guy from whom getting any kind of emotion is like pulling teeth with your bare hands? what the fuck?

but the things blitzø's saying are so nice? and really what fizz needs to hear right now? so he just?

starts crying. also clings like a weird clown koala. it's REAL big baby hours right now. ]

What the ████ is a bio-exorcist? It's some bull████ thing you just made up, isn't it? Satan, the guy can't even crack a good joke... And who cares about ████ right now!

[ then he's squinted at and ordered to do a thing that makes no sense and he practically gets floating question marks over his head about it. ]

Knock what off, ███clown?!

[ BJ invites himself into Fizzarolli's personal bubble to butt his forehead against the clown's and jab him in the chest with a finger. ]

Using my voice! That's copyrighted! Trademarked! It's my bit! And who are you calling a clown, clown?

Your voice is copyrighted? My voice is copyrighted, ███████! I have the paperwork in my wallet! Yours is a bit? This is just how I talk!

[ of course mammon would copyright his voice. what a freak. ]

I'm calling you a clown! But the ██████ kind!

[Oh fuck, now Fizz is crying?? WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS??

Except it's just... weirdly easy to hug him even tighter and rub his back and curl his tail around Fizz's to try and soothe him.]

Take a minute, it's ok. I'm here.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

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TDM 001!!

fizzarolli. helluva boss. heaven-bound.

Penny | Pokemon Scarlet/Violet | TDM take 2!

Hell

Arrival

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arrival.

twilight sparkle | mlp: equestria girls | hell-raised

Beetlejuice | Beetlejuice the Musical | heaven-bound

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oh fuck yes - Garden

i divined a clown was needed

if the zoo bans me for hollering at the animals i will face god and walk backwards into hell

always and forever <3

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:') <3

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