heckinooc | TDM 001!!

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[...Husk would go on to say that he really didn't mean to say that, but he's lazy and not that petty, so eh.]

...Lemme guess. They said your ♣♥♥ died, too, huh? With they didn't choose someone with hair as nice as yours.

[??????]

[Husk groans, frustrated. He needs a fucking drink.]

[Wha...What was that sound you just made with your mouth?? SIR???]

[Oh, but there's another nice compliment, that's sweet, just a little embarrassing. Her hair's definitely not that nice - it's pretty plain and boring, even if she's been told it "suits her".]

Thank you, and. Um, well...y-yeah, they did. I don't exactly know how much I can take their word at face value, since it's...n-not out of the realm of possibility... [She feels a ghostly stabbing sensation, a deep pain in her abdomen, where she was stabbed before coming to this place.] But I'm trying to hope for the best.

[To be fair, Husk wanted to say 'ass' that last time. Husk huffs a little.]

Their best, as of right now, ain't worth s♣♦♥ to me.

[Okay, she can't not start to snicker a little bit this time around. She knows he's cursing, but clearly unable to. It's funny, and reminds her a little of her very grouchy, spiky, blond classmate.]

I understand, those two, um... [She looks back to where the sheep are literally doing nothing, and just sighs.] They're not the best ambassadors for new arrivals at all...but I was sort of in the same boat as you when I showed up. If you expect the worst, that's what you're going to get no matter what you do, so...

Try looking on the bright side, ne? Is there anything I can do to help you feel more comfortable? [She's got to pay it forward to all the people that helped her.]

[That snickering gets a look of irritation from Husk. But only that. He also seems to entirely ignore what you said about looking at things more positively.]

You want me to get comfortable? Hand me the hardest ♣♥♦♠in' bottle of booze ya got.

...I'm a minor, sir.

[EVEN IF ALCOHOL WAS SOLD IN HEAVEN (and it might be, they're really into wine), SHE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO BUY IT.]

Ain't mean you can't hand booze to someone. Only that you can't drink it.

[..........NO, SHE'S PRETTY SURE THAT'S ALSO VERY ILLEGAL UNTIL SHE'S AT LEAST EIGHTEEN.]

M-Maybe there's something else to drink? I'm sure there's some lemonade, or some iced tea or something. Maybe even a virgin drink for me, and you can order something more, um...adult.

[A sangria is fruity as shit, but it's still technically alcoholic.]

[And since when are there cops in hell?]

[Husk rolls his eyes.]

You wanted me to get comfortable, and I told you what would get me comfortable.

[

]

Is that really all that'd make you feel comfortable?

[She's not judging, and if they can find some alcoholic stuff in the Garden, then by all means, but...it is a little bit odd. And kind of sad.]

Well, that, and gettin' back to my own hell, but I haven't found a way back yet.

[Okay, while Ochako gets anyone wanting to go back to where they're most comfortable, it still feels a little bizarre for people to want to go back to hell, at least for her. Sure, it's way less the fire and brimstone stuff she's been lead to believe, and more like a...very seedy and dangerous cityscape, but it is still peculiar. He must have his reasons.]

I think anyone can go back anywhere until those sheep sort out whatever mess they'd made... [Her wings and shoulders droop slightly, and Ochako's smile fades. She also very much would like to go back home to Earth, please and thanks.] But, um...it's a little easier with all the nice people here, ne?

TDM 001!!

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