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heckinooc2024-03-17 09:47 am
heckinmods) wrote in heckinooc2024-03-17 09:47 am
TDM 001!!
A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!
In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.
But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.
You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!
Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.
If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]
C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!
Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.
If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]
D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]
OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
no subject
You're welcome, darling. I can see that you're really possessive over this particular responsibility, so I'll happily leave it to you. XOXO Just ask if you need a little break now and then.
[Translation: Yes, she will help a bit, but it's still 95% a Vox responsibility. Ultimately, she's glad to have both of her boys here. Individually, they're still very much a threat, even starting out, but together? They're the Vees. Teamwork makes the dreamwork, and other such cliche expressions.]
Now that you're here, I've actually got the perfect pitch for recruitment. A talent show, broadcast over primetime, called "Afterlife's Got Talent". The three of us will be judges. Get votes from all three of us and they advance in the competition. Getting a vote from at least one of us means we see their potential for other projects. Make it fun, entertaining, and I'll hype it all over social media.
no subject
[ but on business! which instantly has him perking up. ] Oh, that's good, I like that. I bet we'll find all sorts of 'talent' here to exploit. Do we have a new tower or... even a building? [ where is our new headquarters located? ]
Oh, that reminds me, ...that prick Alastor is doing some shitty radio show, so we'll need to get the 666 News back on the air, which means we're going to need a new Anchor. Somebody that's got attitude.
no subject
Remember what I told you about giving Valentino his outlets? That's how I secured our new HQ. A little quality blackmail to ensure the owner would want to shut me up permanently, we got there much earlier than I was expected, and after some quality stress relief, Val and I secured us a tower and a couple of storefronts.
[They're still in process of cleaning all the blood out of there, though. Velvette's eager to have staff to take care of that sort of problem in the near future.]
For sure, although don't forget to include the holy roller demographic. I know for a fact that social media connects between heaven and hell, so it stands to reason that will apply to television as well. Maybe a dual anchor team - one from hell and one from heaven. We've got access to a whole new market now.
no subject
I have already started doing a little mingling and recruiting of my own. I'm trying to feel some of these new people out... in addition to getting used to this Heaven-Hell co-mingling thing but I do think it's definitely something we can exploit.
[ he is looking her over to see if she's hurt in any way, shape, or form. he knows she can hold her own and take care of herself, but that doesn't mean that he wouldn't blow a gasket if somebody touched velvette, since valentino's tantrums do tend to be explosive in nature; summoning up a wealth of sinner filth. ]
no subject
Right this way, Vox. It needs some renovations and a makeover, but the ground floor's the only one that's in urgent need. We got the bodies disposed of, at least. And the worst of the blood is already mopped up.
[Before she starts telling him more about upcoming project ideas and acquisitions, there is one topic she wants to cover.]
You should know that Angel Dust put out a warning about deals over the entire network. If we play things right, I think we can make it sound like paranoia and fear mongering. My bigger concern is making sure Valentino doesn't waste his energy on someone who isn't an asset to us here.
no subject
Of course that whore would open his stupid mouth. That's all he's good at doing. [ he straights up and lets her lead. ] I think we need to make sure Val finds a new plaything. Angel was -the- one, so he just needs a replacement. Somebody better.
no subject
There's always next time. I'm just glad I kept it out of my hair. Blood is a bitch to wash out.
[Priorities, Velvette has them.]
I think we should make sure he's got several. Keep him from hyper-fixating on any one individual. And since we're still establishing ourselves here, we really need to focus on drawing people in.
no subject
...several, fine, whatever, and maybe we can off Angel Dust while we're at it too. [ fuck that guy in particular. ] But you've got a point. We need a new empire, and that includes having tens of hundreds of minions under our control.
no subject
I'd suggest hiring an assassin for offing him, but I get the impression you'd like to give that your personal attention, darling.
[Fuck that guy indeed. Especially after that network announcement.]
You know...a cooking show would be the perfect excuse to get our hands on some angelic steel from heaven in the near future without arousing suspicion. It's only natural we'd need things like knives, meat cleavers and the like.
no subject
We are going to need someone to replace Dahmer. [ he tsks, shaking his head. ] He was one hell of a chef. It's not going to be easy to find somebody as charismatic. Even if we don't have an immediate replacement we can start making orders. It shouldn't look too suspicious, especially since we're rebuilding an empire.
[ but that has him curious. ] Did that stupid slut [ angel. ] get into heaven or is he still down here with the rest of us?
no subject
[Might as well ensure they have a convenient way to dispose of the body, after all. Besides, she knows Vox likes to look at them swimming about.]
We can always take on a few on-camera roles until we have suitable staff to take over. Gets our names and faces out there more. You'd make quite the dashing news anchorman, you know.
[It's not something they'd want to do for the long run...but since Alastor will be hosting his own radio show, she sees it as somewhat necessary to make themselves famous quickly.]
Angel's still in hell. The only one from the hotel crew that wound up in heaven is their bartender, Husk.
no subject
I think we might have to until we can find a few somebodies with enou- [ wow, velvette, you can't just say that to his face. his face scrambles for a second, but he quickly manages to avoid looking too flustered. ] I can handle that. [ adjusts his bowtie. ]
How did that booze hound get into Heaven? Not that I fucken care, but it's weird that the rest of those losers are still down here.
no subject
Grand. I'll handle the cooking show until we find someone. Valentino could do a talk show. Something with a lot of drama, so it's like a real life version of those telenovelas he likes so much.
[Naturally they'd have to see what he wants to do, but it's good to workshop some ideas.]
No idea how he got there beyond the same bullshit clerical error that got us in the wrong hell...but there's no liquor in Heaven. Sucks for him. No coffee in Hell, either.
no subject
...clerical error? I think that sounds like some bullshit. What I want to know is where the original hell is... [ but the no booze in heaven makes him laugh. ] I'm sure we'll be seeing that booze hound pretty often then.
No coffee? An odd thing to ban in hell...