TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[outrageon]

[Eyeroll.]

Okay, if you're an imp, you should know better than me that everything's tacky.

[She doesn't seem bothered by having irritated Fizz, looking over him appraisingly and apparently a bit soothed by knowing he's rich—]

The clown-chic isn't half bad, though. Great palette for whole look.

But if you're supposed to be from hell, this probably isn't your hell. You're like those other guys.

From that other hell.

[twominutes]

You're not an imp, you don't get to talk ████.

[ why the fuck does she look more relaxed now that he said he's rich? god, he hates people like this. but hey, he can put on the happy clown face for a while. ]

I'm the best clown Hell's ever ████ing seen.

[ with a wide, sharp grin. he doesn't actually believe this, but he's manifesting it. sure. then: ]

I'm gonna need waaahehey more deets if you're talking about people from "that other Hell." Which guys? I'd love some names.

[outrageon]

[Ah yes, Velvet would respect him even more if she knew the strug, but alas. Part of putting on a front means being believed for it, and Vel isn't here to question whether or not he's actually the best.

...As if she knows anything about clowns, anyway.

Vel could list off everyone she knows, but she's lazy. She does know one name that's famous, though, one name that if they're from the same hell he's sure to know.]

'Angel Dust' ring any bells? I hear he's all the rage out there.

[twominutes]

[ of course he's heard of angel dust. of any of the sinners in the pride ring, people in lust have heard about angel dust. fizz considers how to answer this, chewing on the inside of his cheek as his tail curls a little around his own legs. ]

I don't know him personally, but I know of him. Pretty much everyone does, yeah. So that's one guy from the same Hell as me, sure.

[outrageon]

Alright, that answers that, then.
There's a bunch of... [don't say weirdos] huuumans from that hell here.

[She shrugs an arm, though, before resting her hand on her hips.]

If whoever you're looking for was famous enough and here, I'd have heard of him by now.

[twominutes]

I, uh, don't know too many sinners back home. I don't really go to that ring of Hell anymore, I stick around Lust. Greed too, before, but that's not my thing anymore.

[ but also, she has a point. he sighs. ]

Yeah, he's a really big deal... Everybody knows who he is back home.

[outrageon]

Oh, we do have a Greed.

[With the complete obtuseness of someone who chooses to believe their own version of reality:]

Dunno if he's the type you make a ring for, whatever that is.

Too bad about your friend, though.

[twominutes]

Woah. Woahwoahwoahwoahwoahwoah.

[ unthinkingly, fizz takes a step back. a whole step back, his tail lashing behind him, eyes kind of wide as he tugs at his collar like he's sweaty and nervous. ]

You can't just drop that ████ without telling a guy what the Greed person looks like! ████!

[ if mammon is here and not asmodeus, fizz is fucked. congrats girl, you hit the clown panic button. ]

[outrageon]

[Oh, what a fun reaction. Velvet doesn't seem too concerned. She herself is about six feet tall, so when she motions to her temple to signify Greed's height it's... well, he's big, but he isn't Mammon big.]

This tall, fur collar, horns, bling. Fur stole that lights up with dollar signs—

Oh, and he's super hot. You'll know him when you see him.

[twominutes]

[ a couple wheezing breaths, and he's kind of okay again. sort of. woo, now he knows what a heart attack feels like. ]

Cool. Great. If he's hot he's not the Greed I'm worried about.

[ wow, what a way to put it. but he's not wrong.

also yeah, itty-bitty compared to mammon. he's chill. he's cool. he's copacetic. ]

[outrageon]

[Good to know there's a Greed to be worried about. Vel's sure she knows which is the superior greed.]

Wait— so you really just got here? Are they still messing this stuff up? _{Talk about slacking off.}

[does she have the right to talk about slacking off...]

[twominutes]

Uh, yeah? Like today, girl.

[ fizz has never slacked off a day in his life, literally. he has too much anxiety for that. anyway: ]

It's all ████y compared to what I'm used to, you know? Nothing's where it's supposed to be and all that. Like a hall of mirrors but not fun.

[ of course he likes halls of mirrors. ]

[outrageon]

[Velvet definitely squints like she thinks the implication halls of mirrors are fun is... questionable, but she at least has the presence of mind not to vocalize that thought.]

Eugh, now that really sucks. Yeah, none of us are supposed to be here, apparently. They keep saying it's a—

[them big ol' rubberhose hands make the air quotes really emphasized]

—clerical error, but yeesh.

Somebody's getting fired.

[twominutes]

[ stretchy arms twins... he's into it. ]

Clerical errors always get people fired, and they never even fire the right person!

[ what a strange thing to be passionate about. ]

I guess it's a matter of get used to it until they fix ████, though. Not much to do about it, not like we can control where people go and if they can get home.

[outrageon]

Yeah, pretty much. The perks upstairs aren't so bad, though.

[As far as Velvet's concerned, the longer the better!

Vel gives a devilish little grin.]

You should check out the spas in heaven while you have the chance.

[twominutes]

I guess taking advantage of the perks while I can is a good plan.

[ he rubs his chin, considering. ]

I did get my limb waterproofing checked over really recently, I could go in a spa...

[outrageon]

See? That's the spirit. Seize the day, or whatever.

[He's lucky! They probably won't even be rude to him just because he's originally from hell. Probably. Can they tell he's still an imp? Eh, she doesn't actually care.]

Oh, but if you go to that one place they offer this soak called "Midnight Glisten", skip it. It makes everything in a two-yard radius smell like a grandma.