TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

huehuehue

[bugbeverage]

[ The ka-thunk and ker-slosh does get his attention. He was thinking hard about that pie but he twists his head one hundred and eighty degrees to look at her. He hardly has time to process what he's seeing before she pounces. ]

EEEYYYAAAAAAGHHH!

[ BJ's body spins around to match the direction his head is facing and he throws up his arms to defend himself but it is just too fucking late. He falls backwards into the table splattering delicious pie everywhere. ]

[orkin]

[ The literal soundtrack to their bubbly tango as she attacks him with the loofah. Like a rabid animal, she pounces and proceeds to scrub his face clean with expert precision. She is so invested in the task that she doesn't pay any mind to the pies. That's not to say she won't be back to clean it up later.

Looking puzzled, she looks between him and the loofah. Why isn't the smell going away? ]

Needs more bleach!

[ Then, as if she hasn't been cleaning him without consent: ]

I need to get the bleach. I'll be right back! [ Now would be the time to make a run for it as she skips back over to the 2nd bucket, humming a song under her breath. ]

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice lets out a continuous scream as she scrubs him. He kicks his feet and claws at her with his blunt, chipped nails. There's soap in his eyes! He can't see! Fuck! Fuck! It stings! ]

[As soon as she's off of him he flips over onto his belly and crawls across the table like a lizard spitting and spluttering. With his boots on the ground on the other side of the table, Beetlejuice scrubs at his eyes furiously with a sleeve. As soon as he can see he glares at the one-eyed creature that attacked him.]

Buzz off lady, this stench is six hundred years in the making!

[orkin]

[ Music to her little ears, it's like a symphony of pain and she digs it. The hunt loses meaning when they just sit there and take it, her potential bad boy alarm is pinging like crazy.

He smells worse than Alastor's breath. ]

Are angels supposed to be smelly? Oh, I know exactly what to do to help!

[ Since her bucket was pilfered not long after she abandoned it, she reaches behind her and produces not one but two colorful aerosol cans. Looking up at him like a lost child in Walmart, she proceeds to unload both cans of Febreze on him as if this were some kind of wild west showdown. Hope he likes smelling like the comforting scent of Vanilla Cookie, it's limited edition and everything. ]

What scent?

[bugbeverage]

[ Beetlejuice bristles and the hair along his temples begins to shift from grimy green to flamin hot cheetos red. He prefers being angry to feeling lost and confused. He puffs himself up to make himself bigger and he opens his mouth to bark more threats at her.]

[ This turns out to be a bad idea because he is suddenly doused in a cloud of good smells. It's vile. His throat, his tongue, his eyes, his nostrils, they are all assaulted. Enough! Enough!]

[ Beetlejuice lets out a shrill scream as he claws at his face and backs away further and further until he nearly trips over another table. This jars him into action. He twists around and with bleary vision he books it to the far ends of the Garden as fast as his feet will carry him. He doesn't even remember he has wings.]

Outta my way!

[orkin]

[ Ooh, it works just like bug spray does! Look at him twitch, it's like watching the last feeble struggle from a cockroach before it dies.

Instead of chasing him, as she's already completed the task she set out to do, she settles for waving at his frame as it starts to disappear from view. For being so tiny, her voice sure carries. ]

You're welcome, sir!