heckinooc | TDM 001!!

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ fizzarolli is still skulking around hell trying to find his giant boyfriend when he sees.... ]

Princess?

[ and she's trying to calm down a huge group of fighting people, which is not going well for her at all, and it's not like fizz can jump in to fight off some dudes, so instead he does what he does best.

... he grabs a streetlight with an extendo-arm, swings over to charlie, grabs her out of the way of a punch to the head, and then swings back to drop to the ground well out of the way. ]

SorryforgrabbingyoulikethatPrincessbutI'marunnernotafighteranywayweshouldreallygetoutofhere.

[ all in one breath. ]

Oof!

[Getting beat up is a entirely foreseeable ending to Charlie's attempts at getting them calmed down, but extraction via swinging demon before that taking place not so much.]

Whoa, whoa, calm down, speak slower! I mean... not that I have much right to tell someone to calm down, and especially not speak slower. I end up talking quickly all the time in an attempt to be heard, so I really emphasize with where you're coming from. --Oh no, I've already gone too far into being a judgy-boots, haven't I? I'm sorry! I didn't mean it, I just... was so surprised someone grabbed me!

[. . .]

Who are you?

[ charlie, you are telling a clown with anxiety and without his emotional support rooster to calm down. he sort of wheezes for a second like WOWEE I COULD HAVE GOTTEN IN TROUBLE FOR THAT PROBABLY!!! before taking a breath and forcing himself to chill the fuck out.

of note: he's clearly an imp, clearly a clown, but his theming is white and gold and he has a halo. a very weird vibe. also, his tail is wrapped around his legs, kind of like when a dog's tail lowers. it's fine. don't worry about it. ]

Uh, right, sorry. I just didn't want you to get clocked by those losers. [ a beat. ] I'm Fizzarolli! You can call me Fizz.

[ the princess gets fizz privileges. also, wow, that's kind of a household name in hell, as far as entertainers go. ]

Oh, it's fine! Fine! --I mean, obviously being punched in the face isn't fine but, I really think that they were just trying to work through some aggression! Rather than, you know, try to harm people for the sake of it?

[Tumblers click into place.]

...Oh, wow. Long story short, you're another demon they put in Heaven! Right??

[ he, in fact, kind of loves not being recognized here. it's nice. anyway, he gives her a dubious squint. ]

Your Highness, I'm pretty sure they were just in it to do exactly that.

[ then: ]

I am! But I don't get it. I was born in Hell, and there's nothing really to redeem me for, so they were definitely right about it being a clinical error.

Call me Charlie!!

[she takes his hand and shakes it, vigorously]

It's very nice to meet you, Fizz! Thank you for pulling me out of the melee back there!

[She'll take him at his word that he has nothing to redeem for.]

You're very talented! I mean, I'd want to do the same for anyone too, but swinging right in and pulling me out like that? Few could do that!

[...looking back.]

I hope no one got hurt... in the cross-fire...

Oh. Uh. Okay? Charlie.

[ can you see the way he's kind of sweating under his makeup? is this okay? is he allowed to be familiar with the princess? he's just some shitty imp, wow.

anyway, back to business: ]

Thanks! It's because my arms and legs are fake.

[ ha ha ha, a funny joke for sure. well, not a joke, but don't ask questions about it. he waves off her concerns though, shaking his head. ]

Girl, [ WHY DID HE CALL HER THAT ] even if they did, they'll be fine. No one's staying hurt, for some reason.

Charlie! --It's totally okay to call me that.

[Though his comment about it healing provokes a cough and nervous chuckle]

Well, that's... even more reason to step in, right? Stop the cycle of violence!

Charlie.

[ how many times can they just say charlie to each other?

he squints so much. he's doing a lot of squinting today. ]

Eh, they'll get tired eventually, heal up, and go home. It's better to not try and interfere in this specific kind of scenario. They're not going to listen. You saw that.

Right. Charlie.

[A little sigh.]

I just hate to see them like this.

Sooooooo, Charlie, the thing is, this isn't like the Hell we're used to at all, you know? Everything's different and almost none of the people we know are here. Some of the people from your hotel are, I think?

[ a beat. ]

Don't quote me on that. I just know what I've been told. Anyway, point is, I think now it's more important to get settled yourself. No ████ing point in helping people if you're falling apart yourself.

Well, that doesn't affect my feelings at all! No matter what 'hell' this might be, I'm going to help everyone redeem themselves! --Even if there's already an elevator to heaven open, I'm using 'redeem' in the 'be a better person' sense. If there's one thing I learned: having an angelic halo doesn't automatically make you a good person.

And... can you really say spontaneous fights aren't a thing in hell? 'Our' hell?

Oh, I'm well aware! Look at me, I'm a huge ████ and yet here I am with little wingies and a halo, it's nuts.

[ BUT. ]

That said, this isn't the time. There's a time and place to try and change people's minds and when people are all hopped up on fight juice isn't it.

Oh no. I wasn't commenting on you! Did it sound that way? I'm sorry! I'm really sorry! Because that's totally not what I meant. At all.

[ BUT... ]

Okay, maybe that was a bit overly optimistic on my part.

TDM 001!!

hell level..........charlie please

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aaaah, I'm sorry, I haven't seen helluva boss. pm me if Charlie should know something?

oh no it's totally fine! it makes sense if hazbin characters have just Not Heard Of Him tbh

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