TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[grumpface]

[Yeah, no, whoever the fuck did that now has to die with a facefull of cards stuck in their skull.

But after that, Husk sighs.]

Look, Charlie... I'm not sayin' to stop tryin'. Just... it should wait until we're all back where we belong.

[Husk takes a bit of a chug from the bottle he had been holding onto.]

Me bein' a ♣♥♠♦in' angel should be proof that all of this is wrong. that this hell or heaven ain't any of ours. We need to get back home.

[princess_of_hell]

Not possible! Wherever it is, Hell is still Hell, and um... okay maybe they won't think of me as their Princess, but I still care about each and every one here!

And... you don't know that, Husk! Not even Heaven would say "Here's what it takes to get into heaven, and here's an explanation on why that asshole Adam qualified."

And as for you, even if you want to say about being an angel: "Oh, this is a mistake..." it's okay. I'll believe in you, even if you can't, yet.

[grumpface]

[Husk sighs again. He'll drop the whole 'redemption is impossible for himself' thing and focus on the 'different places' thing.]

For all we know, it might not be possible to switch from demon to angel or the other way around. Or given how s♠♣♥♥y this system is, it could be as easy as sneakin' in smewhere to change paperwork around if they have any.

How's about we get the ♠♠♣♥ out of here and find the rest of our drinkin' buddies before decidin' on anythin'?

[...Does Charlie know Sir Pentious is alive...? ...Just to be sure... and to save the snakeboy from a song...]

...And apparently, Sir Pentious is alive here.

1/2

[princess_of_hell]

...Husk, you otherwise all right? You keep... swearing in long hand.

[princess_of_hell]

He is!?

Does he know he is? Does he know he's alive!? Well, of course, he knows he's alive. But, the rest! The noble things he did! The ones that... live on in our hearts?

[grumpface]

Charlie, you should know by now I've been runnin' on empty for decades. It's this whole 'me bein' an angel' thing keepin' me from ♥♣♣♦in' swearin' like I want to. Can you imagine a hellborn imp is stuck in the same s♣♠♦ I am bein' an angel?

Dunno, haven't talked to him. But I was notified by one of the Vees. They're here, too. Or at least Velvette and Valentino are.

[princess_of_hell]

...Ahahaha. Two of the more active of Hell's Overlords here...

[pause]

This is a good opportunity for them, too! They don't worry about all of the responsibility of trying to manage their gigantic territorial network, now! They can just relax, let the aggression they gained from having clawed their way up the overlord ladder fade away!

...

Valentino, Angel's boss Valentino, huh?

[there's honest disgust and anger below the surface, there]

[grumpface]

[A short nod before Husk's piercing eyes look into Charlie's eyes.]

I keep Alastor away from him, Velvette keeps him away from Angel.

[Husk is serious about this. Velvette and Husk had A Talk.]

[princess_of_hell]

[Husk can watch Charlie's eyes light up, then]

Alastor's here too!? Perfect! Don't you see, Husk? What better time to bring the former Overlords together and encourage them to start on the path to redemption themselves?? Imagine! The most powerful demons, usually at each others throats, free of all reasons to hate, now coming together to say 'I'm sorry!'

... Okay, I can't even imagine Alastor doing that, let alone Valentino, and probably not Velvette or any other overlord I haven't met, [a nervous laugh] I don't get involved in the actual 'politics' of Hell, for very good reasons...

But just, IMAGINE! Can you imagine? Because, I'm imagining!

[imitates Alastor] "Oh, Vees. I see we simply all rushed to judgment all these years!"

[imitates Valentino] "I agree, Alastor-baby, I've been nothing but mean to you, and my employees! Let's all resolve to mend our ways! What is the worst that could happen?"

[grumpface]

CHARLIE.

[Husk himself sort of winces at how angry and harsh that was.]

...We can't let Valentino make a Deal with Angel Dust again.

[He looks away.]

He'll probably be p♠♥♥♣♦ at me for revealin' he was on Valentino's leash, but... I can't let it happen again. This is a fresh new start for him. Just leave the Vees alone.

[...Husk sighs. He can't believe he's going to do this.]

Do we have a Deal?

[princess_of_hell]

...Husk, am I detecting a capital letter "deal"? Because... no.

[She sighs, time to backtrack] Look, I know first hand the terrible things Valentino's done to Angel. I... nearly let myself attack him because of it. No one's saying Angel should be within ten miles of Valentino. Or ten hundred miles. ...Least of all, me.

So, don't think I need to be corralled by a "Deal" okay?

[grumpface]

[Husk looks back over to Charlie and after a moment, visibly relaxes with a sigh and a bit of a wing droop and a bit of a hug to himself.]

...I saw firsthand how he dealt with all the s♠♥♦ Valentino put him through... It wasn't all that pretty. He's gettin' better, though, and I just don't want him to go back to rock bottom. That's where I belong. Angel Dust deserves to eventually be redeemed.

...But thanks for takin' me seriously. I appreciate it.

[princess_of_hell]

[She's not gonna let him just hug himself! She moves in to try another hug.]

Husk, you really are selling yourself short! You do lots of selfless things, all the time! --Anyway, I'm sorry I got so excited seeing you with a halo. Don't worry so much about 'getting to heaven,' okay? Let's just work at being the best people we can be!

[grumpface]

[...Fine, whatever. Charlie can have this one. On the house.]

You can do that. But I really am just the leftover shell of what was once a man. There ain't nothin' left of me to redeem. I've been runnin' on empty for decades.

[Husk will just... start leading Charlie out of and away from this crowd.]

[princess_of_hell]

[She's just excited she got that hug. She'll let herself get led out.]

Husk, if you're running on empty maybe all you need is a little refill!

[...]

--Not of booze! This metaphor would be confined to completely non-alcoholic drinks. Actually, let's just say water. The water glass may be half-empty, but that only means you have the capacity to refill it!

[gasps]

There's a song in there, somewhere. I know it!

[grumpface]

Please no more songs. Not 'till next week, at least.

Water's not gonna make me get redeemed.

[Husk chugs some more of that booze.]

Remember what I said when we first met? Yeah... that also applied to even before I died and went to hell.

[princess_of_hell]

[He is definitely not getting any sort of Deal about when and where she can sing.]

Um... something something... cheap booze?

[grumpface]

[We'll see about that.]

No... not that. I had lost the ability to love years ago.

[Walking further and further away from the rowdy crowd...]

My life's nothin' but drinkin' and gamblin' now. Lots of other people have the capability to be repaired, but... just not me. It's best I don't disappoint you. Focus on Angel and Sir Pentious.

[princess_of_hell]

...

[she lets out a vulnerable little sigh]

Husk, if Alastor wasn't forcing you to be there at our hotel... would you be?

[grumpface]

[...Damnit. Just what the fuck IS that look? Whatever it is, it makes Husk's face look guilty. He turns his eyes away from you.]

...I did end up in hell. Not Heaven.

...But... I meant what I said when I ain't findin' no new drinkin' buddies.

[princess_of_hell]

Huuuusk... the entire point has been any soul can find redemption, even if they made mistakes while alive...?

Any soul! Like I said, don't worry about getting to Heaven tomorrow, it takes time, but... you don't have to think the door is slammed shut.

Howabout this? Don't think "if I want to get redeemed, I have to be a completely new and better person tomorrow, so I won't try." No one expects that! Keep doing what makes you comfortable, even if it's a sin, and work a little step at a time...

[grumpface]

...I'd be more comfortable bein' a ♠♥♣♦in' sinner than a winner.

[Husk thinks it's time to try changing the subject, or at least talking about someone different, so Charlie doesn't take all day trying to futilely change his mind.]

So met anyone you don't know yet?

[princess_of_hell]

Oh! Oh... yes! There's... the person with that knife over there! And... that's strange, I don't see the other one he was stabbing anymore... he must've gone home!

[A happy day in hell.]

[grumpface]

And that's it? You need to get out more.

[Husk, so do you.]

[princess_of_hell]

Well, it's just everyone's in such a hurry or wrapped up in their own business, I haven't really gotten the chance to mingle, yet. Things will calm down!

[And, another liquor bottle smashes somewhere nearby them both, but it looks like this one was thrown to purposefully miss, at least.]

Wow. This place is really going to be a hazard to walk through if someone leaves all this broken glass around... maybe we could stand to sweep it away? Just into a corner...