TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[deerlisteners]

[Alastor magics himself up a steaming cup of coffee, as black and thick as tar. He sips it while he listens to Charlie's plan. Once she's finished, he sets the mug down and steeples his fingers]

I'll be honest with you, dear -- I don't think the "redemption" angle will go over well here. There are no exterminations to worry about, and reaching Heaven is as simple as taking an elevator. To be blunt, there's no point.

[he stirs the coffee with a claw, thoughtful]

I think you'll have more luck with an... [he waves his hand, trying to come up with a good way to put it] ... embassy of kindness, so to speak. A respite in Hell for those who don't necessarily want to make the trip upstairs. It is so terribly bright there. [he massages his temples... the sun there gave him such a headache...] I'd be happy to help a bit in the ways I can, but... well. [he shrugs. He trusts Charlie, but he's not quite sure he wants to tell her about his weaknesses without holding her to her word]

1/?

[princess_of_hell]

Okay, okay. Maybe there's no exterminations. And maybe there's an elevator to Heaven. And maybe no one here is going to exactly consider me their princess, and...

[princess_of_hell]

Wow, these points against me are piling up, aren't they? Ahaha...

[She coughs. Awkward.]

[princess_of_hell]

But, no one really came to the hotel when there were exterminations, either. And, no one really came to the hotel when they knew me as their princess, either. As for this Heaven, I already met a demon, a demon from our Hell, who made a very good point: "what if exorcists show up tomorrow, looking for revenge?"

[princess_of_hell]

All I can do...

[princess_of_hell]

Is show them someone who has redeemed themselves! And I can only do that if I keep up the redemption effort! With activities! And planning! And recruiting! And all the old fun stuff!

[She still has her enthusiasm, at least.]

6/6

[princess_of_hell]

And, besides... there are a lot of our people here. I can't abandon them. ...You know I can't.

So, whatever I get going, I'll understand if you don't want to be involved. That's what I was planning to do from the start.

1/2

[deerlisteners]

[he sips his coffee more as Charlie talks herself into a corner, then back out again. Ah, she's very good at that, isn't she?]

Your enthusiasm is invigorating as always, princess. I certainly won't stop you! But allow me to be realistic. [he steeples his fingers] Your daddy isn't here to help you conjure up anything you might need. Your power is limited. My power is limited. Everything you see here-- [he gestures to his office with a grand sweeping motion] -- everything I have already accomplished, I have done with good old-fashioned elbow grease. [and murder and theft, of course] Without being in a position of privilege, and your general unwillingness to get your hands dirty, I think you're going to find your task a lot more daunting.

2/2

[deerlisteners]

[ah, that was a bit depressing, though, wasn't it? He leans forward]

Of course, if anyone is up to the challenge, it would be you, my dear. I just wanted to caution you against overly lofty goals and inevitable disappointment. Shockingly, it brings me no joy to see you miserable.

[princess_of_hell]

...You're right, that is a shock.

[deerlisteners]

[shrug] I'm just full of surprises.

[princess_of_hell]

Well, in that case... you can cheer me on as I'm raising money! --Though, when you said 'get your hands dirty'...

[deerlisteners]

You know what I'm talking about. [indeed, there's someone else's name plate on his desk. Alastor knocks it off into the trash]

[princess_of_hell]

[It'd be grosser if it was Valentino making the suggestion, at least.]

No, thank you... I'll find a way.

[deerlisteners]

[What's worse... eating people or what Valentino does to people...?]

Still, I'd like to try and help you in whatever way I can -- even if it's just advertisements on my shows. I'm afraid that if anyone decides to take out the walls again, you'll be on your own.

[princess_of_hell]

[don't tempt Val to say 'there's a kink for that'.]

Okay, okay. [The prospect of leaving a wall open again stings.] I will take you up on that advertisement offer, though! As soon as I have, you know, something to advertise.

[deerlisteners]

[There's ABSOLUTELY a kink for that, it's called vore :)]

Well, do let me know if I can assist in any way -- if there's a building you have your eye on for your facilities and need to make the current owners disappear, you know where to find me. [he pulls his hell-phone out from inside his coat -- it's one of those chunky boomer phones] I've also started using this silly thing! But I only check it a few times a day.

[princess_of_hell]

Disappear... through purchasing property at a reasonable rate! In an exchange the seller freely enters into without coercion! Yes, that'd be great!

[deerlisteners]

... Naturally. [you know that's not what he means, Charlie. But he's not going to press it!] Not to worry though -- once this little forced vacation is over, I'll be happy to return to my duties at our hotel. Now then, I trust our business is all finished here?

[princess_of_hell]

I love the optimism, Alastor! Thank you so much! In the mean time, yes! I know I'll be excited to see you there!

And, hey, we're hardly strangers! If you want to talk or do anything... call me whenever!

[deerlisteners]

Of course, my dear princess. We're friends, after all. [friends with a deal back home, one he doesn't plan to endanger in any way]

[princess_of_hell]

Oh, c'mon Alastor! We're more than that.

[She took his words as humility. Even after his teasing in her darkest hour, after the deal, his words of feeling honored that they built 'such a bond' still mattered to her.]

Well, anyway... I'll see myself out? --Turn right and then go straight, two doors down?

[deerlisteners]

You're right. More like family.

[If she wants to keep believing that... He'll be happy to oblige. Alastor rolls his eyes at her bad sense of direction, but with a good-natured smile. He snaps his fingers and one of his tiny impish shadow friends arises from Charlie's shadow]

My little friend will show you out and accompany you wherever you need to go.

[the imp bounces up and down and then reaches up to hold her hand]

[princess_of_hell]

[She claps her hands, obviously giddy as she hears him say that.]

Exactly! Oh, Alastor, I'm so happy to hear you think so, too! How could it be any other way, right?

[She finally looks and realizes the shadow is there, so she'll happily take it's hand.]

Oh, thank you! [A wave back to Alastor] I'll see you later!

[deerlisteners]

[She's such a simple creature~ He wiggles his fingers in a gay little wave goodbye]

You know how to contact me if you require any other assistance, my dear.

[The little shadow imp seems to be just as excited as her, anyway, and indeed accompanies her to her next destination]