heckinooc | TDM 001!!

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Beetlejuice listens and you can see the rusty cogs moving behind his eyes. Marry her? Who the fuck is Otho? ]

[In one fluid motion, Beetlejuice stretches out an arm and snatches up one of the chairs. He plunks down in it with one leg propped up, chin in his jaw.]

Waaaaait a minute. Wait. Wait a minute. The B-man is crunching some numbers.

[ He sits and he fucking THINKS. ]

A couple of my pals were in a completely different afterlife before they ended up in this afterlife. And so was I. If there's more than one Hell, maybe there's more than one world of the living.

[ His hair shifts from its miserable bruised color back to green. He's concentrating too hard to be sad. ]

[ she doesn't jump when his arm darts out like that, but it's a close thing because okay, she'd been exaggerating a little when she'd pretended to not be scared at all. but she does fix the chair she knocked over and sit in it to observe him coming to this conclusion. ]

So you're saying there's more than one of you and more than one of me.

[ look, she's not a science fiction girlie or anything, but she did already make a star trek connection in her head earlier. ]

I suppose that's not impossible, but that just means the you I know is running around unaccounted for and that is actually kind of scary.

Now why couldn't I run into that sexy son of a bitch?

[ Beetlejuice ponders the multiverse for a few moments longer before turning his attention back to Lydia. ]

So where does that leave us? [He tips his halo back.]

The last thing anyone needs is more than one of you, much less in the same place at the same time. I hope you never meet him.

[ she hopes no one ever meets him. that said, she looks at him a moment at the question, brows furrowed. she genuinely doesn't know what to say.

eventually she sighs, lifting her veil to flip it back over her hair, and all eight eyes blink at him in tandem. ]

I still don't trust you.

Well that's fine with me!

[ He sticks a long, forked tongue out at her before spreading his arms wide to gesture at the Garden. ]

I'm not invisible any more.

Well, everyone here is dead, of course they can see you.

Well, ahduh, but I can also go anywhere I want! No sandworms to get in my way. There's more than just this Garden. There's an entire Heaven! No taxes! No commercials! Endless shrimp! And Hell! Now that's the place to be!

[ He flaps his wings and lifts off the ground. ]

Back home? Where we're from? You get nothing!

[ Beetlejuice lands with a thump. ]

I guess I should thank Other You.

[ oh, he's got enthusiasm again. she watches this, eyebrows raising, but she does suppose he has a point. she didn't expect, after all she'd learned, for there to be, well. a biblical version of the afterlife, even as twisted as this one seems to be.

which brings her to another point she's been contemplating.

once he lands she stands from her chair and reaches up past the top of his head, flicking the edge of his halo lightly. ]

Why, because she double-killed you and you came back with this? How'd you of all people end up with a halo, anyway?

[ no commentary on her own status. being a spider is cool, actually. ]

[ This gets a BIG OLD SHRUG from Beetlejuice, palms up and everything. The halo rings faintly when flicked, a single melodic note. ]

I'm just as surprised as you.

[ And speaking of surprises, he didn't expect her to have so many eyes the next time he saw her. ]

I guess you're gonna have to stock up on mascara, huh?

They do keep citing clerical errors. You don't sound like you'd be too depressed about them fixing their mistake and sending you to Hell, though.

[ then, blandly: ]

Yes, and every other eye makeup as well. Eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow... The trips to the drug store will never end.

[ wry. it's almost like she's biting back a smile. ]

I hadn't really thought about it.

[ He likes his wings. Would he get to keep them? ]

[That's a worry for another day. Instead, Beetlejuice raises his phone and snaps a photo of Lydia with the flash on.]

[ she's about to say something, but then— ]

Hey! You can't just take pictures of people without their permission!

[ never mind that she has and will continue to do that, this is DIFFERENT. but then: wait, he used the questionable phone thing. she takes a step closer, eyes narrowing as she looks up at him, and waves the phone in her hand at him. ]

You can keep the picture if you show me how to use this.

[ He lets out a triumphant little cackle as she fusses at him. There's no way she can stop him from keeping the photo but there's still a part of him that wants the approval of another person so he obliges. ]

Sure thing, kid.

[ Beetlejuice closes the gap between them, unfortunately for Lydia. His personal aura is a little tough to withstand. The ghoul holds up his phone to mirror hers and starts tapping through the menus with his thumb.]

Contacts...think of it like speed dial. Notes. You can leave a voice memo too. Pictures--

[ He has SO MANY pictures and he's only been here for a couple of weeks. Many of them of other people without their knowing. And the selfies. His face from every conceivable angle. He makes the duck face a lot.]

[ somehow, he smells less bad than the beelejuice that she had to stand next to at the altar, so she isn't having a GREAT time with that "aura" but she is managing.

she's a quick study, for a gal from the 1980s! such a quick study that by the time he finishes showing her the gallery features, she reaches over and deftly taps his screen to delete the photo of herself before taking a hopping step back.

ha HA. anyway. ]

... So the photos get stored on the phone? how do you get physical copies without film?

[ sure computers and printers exist in the 80s but there are no cords happening here, and also the quality dip there would be borderline criminal. ]

[ He lets out a little surprised grunt when she's crafty and deletes her online footprint right off his device. He lifts the phone high above them and flashes the peace sign in attempts to get a selfie with her. ]

Whatever, spoil sport. I'm sure there's a...kinko's or somethin' in Heaven somewhere. Or maybe Hell now that I think about it.

[ FINE she holds still for a photo but she's not going to smile. so there. ]

Kinko's would belong in Hell, that's true. I hate agreeing with you. [ then: ] I need you to know how weird this is for me.

[ He snaps a few more. They're very blurry. ]

Oh, it's weird alright. But weird isn't always bad. The you I knew wanted to end it all, which wouldn't have gotten you anywhere. But we're here now and there's endless shrimp.

Give me that. My artistic integrity can't handle the non-quality of those.

[ she is sounding SO put upon. but then: ]

That wasn't me anymore, then. I was happy at home. I would be ecstatic to be home again. [ mildly deadpan, but she's not lying. ] Are endless shrimp a big pull for you?

TDM 001!!

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