TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[pageantmom]

Samoas are the fuckin' shit.

[ The censorship earns him what looks to be a raised eyebrow, but he does let him continue his explanation instead of teleporting away too soon. So, this was one of the little tyke's Make-A-Wish redemption kids.

Kids aren't his thing unless he's exploiting them, which he probably tried to do to Charlie once when she was a kiddo. Okay, maybe twice, but he doesn't babysit for free. He didn't ask for the job, it's Lucifer and Lilith's fault for leaving the toddler in his care. You try to sell headshots once and everyone loses their goddamn minds. Talk about killjoys. ]

Luci's kid's here? So, a clerical error has you batting for the other team, yeah? Tough break, moggy.

[ Unfortunately for Husk, the word "bartender" has already firmly punted him into the poor sac category. He hasn't even been here half an hour and he's already scheming towards a new venture. ]

[grumpface]

It's worse than that. When you find the elevators here, you're allowed to go straight to this place's heaven if you want to. I'm allowed to go straight to this place's hell. The whole system here is barely functional.

[pageantmom]

[ Is this an important conversation he should be paying attention to? Because right now, he is paying more attention to the pie he is currently shoveling into his mouth.

So he gets the munchies when he's grumpy, so sue him. ]

Right. Thanks for that, maybe the Sinners aren't so bad.

[ Wait. ]

The fuck? I said your coat is shiny as fuck. No—

[ In a comical show of realization, he scratches at the top of his head with finger then realizes the only thing he did different was eat the pie. Without a care in the world for manners, Mammon turns his head off to the side and proceeds to spit the mouthful of pie (which might as well be three slices for him) onto the ground. He then proceeds to gesture to it like.. why didn't you tell me?

Low blow, Garfield. ]

[grumpface]

[Husk shrugs, returning a look that says "Who the fuck am I to tell a Sin what they should or should not do". Because really. Chances are he would have been yelled at or punched or belittled. He may be a sinner, but he knows which rung he's on.

Anyways, he fetches a nearby bag he can swipe the mouthgroundpie into it.]

It's... I don't exactly care for this form I'm stuck in, especially bein' an angel and all.

[Husk eyes the pie. Another thought comes to him.]

Wait... The ♥♠♣♦in' pie still does that?

[Husk highs and wipes his hand down his face. OF FUCKING COURSE IT STILL FORCES YOU TO SAY THINGS AAAAA.]