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heckinooc2024-03-17 09:47 am
heckinmods) wrote in heckinooc2024-03-17 09:47 am
TDM 001!!
A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!
In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.
But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.
You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!
Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.
If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]
C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!
Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.
If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]
D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]
OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
<--- Not Suddenly Behemoth just Mood
So you're assuming that the entity that created this place wouldn't have the resources -time, and knowledge in this case- to make something like this? Maybe, your perception is being tweaked, so it only feels familiar...
[ It's a good thing Luci doesn't care is Abby is being an ass, cuz like... dude. He's not trying though-- he's just used to experiencing extremely mailable reality in a way not a lot of other Things are.
And honestly, it's just feels helpful to brainstorm. His grin is rather feral at Lucifer's accusation of his own vanity. He's not insulted, and the look on his face commutates, pretty damn flawlessly without a word, the message 'Obviously, bitch.'
He does seem to look... genuinely pleased that he's invented a new nickname, though. His laugh is definitely wolfish, but not without an odd flame-like warmth this time.]
Oh, good, good! Originality is so hard to grasp when you exist beyond time. Everything has already been done. [... genuinely impossible to tell if he's switch-flipped to being sincere, or if he's just ascended to a new level of fuckery. Maybe he's just 'like this'. ]
no subject
[ he's not going to deign the commentary about his perception being tweaked with any notice.
and, well, lucifer is the ruler of all of hell, of course, but he's also the leader of pride, so he's quite used to the sentiment. completely unruffled by the audacity of being up one's own ass so fully.
he's much more interested in the rest of the commentary. ]
Oh, I know! Everything's been done before, and there's just nooooo creativity left. Hah! Maybe that is why this place is exactly like the old one, they just couldn't think of anything FRESH or INTERESTING.
[ yeah, he's aiming those all-caps words at the distant sheep. he's been doing that a lot. ]
no subject
One long black claw taps his own jawline; now he seems on the pensive, quizzical end of stoic. Actually, he's getting farther than he expected to brainstorming with this clever little guy.]
Another fair point, actually. Maybe it's a constraint of this reality in particular? It must have rules, every existence inside a universe does. Maybe it isn't something new because it simply can't be?
[ That third golden eye is just gunna chill there, since Luci doesn't seem too put out. How polite! It darts back and forth, as though struggling to read something, while Abby ponders out loud. Also, Short King wins approval for using their conversation to dig at those dumb little puff balls who clearly do not have their shit together. Like how dare you copy my reality you little twerp! Yeah, he can dig that vibe. ]
Intentional Plagiarism is very tacky. Lazy, even. [ He nods agreeably, speaking with a clear and resonating voice. He's lookin' at you, Sheeps. He's not sold on the idea that it was actually them who did any of this on purpose at all, but well... scapesheep, or something?]
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the rest though, now they're cooking with gas. ]
Okay, so people will talk all day about how there are infinite possibilities and it's possible to do whatever forever without a single repeat. Those people are wrong! Even if things aren't exactly the same, the similarities will start creeping in around the, oh... Maybe the 5000 year mark? And that's being generous! History and existence will always repeat themselves. It's a cycle, you know?
[ he just assumes a guy like this would know. that said, he's seen much worse, much weirder. hell, he's got some extra eyes himself hiding around! completely normal, honestly. ]
It really is the laziness that gets to me! I bet I could point out every single landmark in this garden without fail and it'll be because they didn't change anything except adding in a table full of pie.
[ there goes the pride again... ]
no subject
Plus, otherwise, he seems to know his shit for such a (relatively) young seeming entity. Abby agrees with a sagely nod-- he's seen it play out that way, too. ]
Having witnessed much of the same, I can't disagree. Omniscience is hardly required, if one is merely observant enough.
[ Honestly some people freak out over the stupidest stuff. Who cares about extra arms or eyes or if some fire slithers out from betwixt his fangs? People need to chill.
... and, speaking of extra hands? One of Abby's slides out and coils its black claws around Luci's; meanwhile, the other two are preoccupied with his plate of pie and fork. He doesn't. Seem to notice what hand number three is doing? Damn you, sweet potato pie!]
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he heaves a very dramatic sigh, waving his fork around now that his pie is gone. ]
All they have to do is open their eyes, but they won't!
[ the hand taking his startles him, though. he blinks and looks down at it, then back up again. and hey, he may be touch and affection starved, but this is a little forward! ]
I'm very flattered, but I don't hold hands on a first date!
[ he doesn't pull away, too perplexed to do so. ]
no subject
And this Old Man was around eons and eons before that.10,000 years of extreme sheltering, 5402 years in an extended 'Time Out' locked inside a star... if effects a guy, okay. ]
Maybe creativity doesn't concern them. What kind of sad creatures must they be to take no joy in the originality of creation?
[... Well Eff you too Abby, I think the game is neat but you're entitled to your opinion. ]
... Hm?
[ Oh what the devil. Ábramar gazes down at his wayward hand with a look of slight amused, and slight irritation. ]
That was unintentional [ Calmly spoken, considering it's low key mind control. Abby tries to move his hand, but his fingers barely twitch, and he becomes aware of the wash of pleasant water energies from the simple physical contact. That feels... good? Ah-ha, it's magic! ]
Oh, now what kind of magic is this....?
[ He finally manages to uncoil his grip, one finger at a time, after some intense concentration. Though... he can't deny that he'd rather not! Curiouser, and curiouser!]
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he'd helped, with the big bang. helped put everything in place. it was good, to be so busy for a while. something new and exciting. ]
Sometimes people just haven't seen the joy of it yet. Maybe they need a swift kick in the ass.
[ he watches this whole thing with open interest, though his eyes squint slightly at the display. once his hand is free again, he takes it back. how strange! ]
I really don't like the concept of there being controlling aspects of this place even further than there already are.
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The Hyperfixate, man. Ábramar's not really happy without one of those either, but for him, that means finding a Master. And for SOME REASON everyone is so suspicious of the Wish Granter
Like he wouldn't burn 110 immortals alive FOREVER if reality didn't compose just a little differently]Or a Fire lit beneath it [ His smile shows fangs, the hunger for chaos that could form anywhere between mischief and strife. ]
Everyone is controlled by something, at one time or another. Even me. That's Fate. Never seen such powerful magic tweaked for, what... hand holding? [ Now he's trying to keep track of all his hands. All six of them, incidentally. ] Who designed that? A bunch of teenage girls at a slumber party?
[... RUDE Abby. ]
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[ lucifer’s current hyperfixation is rubber ducks, which may be a little ridiculous but it fills the time and also he always has presents ready if someone drops around at random.
spoilers: no one drops around at random. he has an endless supply of ducks back home.
anyway!
he squints a little more at the commentary, then sighs and leans back. carefully keeping his limbs out of reach. not that this guy doesn’t probably have extendo-arms or some shit, but he can just temporarily poof out of existence if that happens. ]
Of course they are. That’s a universal constant. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. [ he grabs another piece of pie, taking a large bite before continuing. ] Maybe they just didn’t get enough affection as a child.
no subject
Yeah Abby's keeping all six arms folded now-- slack, not quite flaunting, like it didn't bother him too much to have a limb so casually hijacked. Okay, actually-- the bottom pair unfold and prop a pair of hands on his hips. He's not quite annoyed. Mildly ticked might be more accurate. It doesn't show on his expression, though. ]
Maybe. There are worse endeavors one could take with Mind Control Magic, obviously. Maybe I shouldn't be giving our Hypothetical Jailers ideas...
[ ... Yeah he's going to take a small break from the food. He needs a healthy, cautious, five minute interval to make sure he knows where all of his arms are. Letting them phase in and out seems... a bit risky, if they are individually possessed to wander. Will he caution anyone else though? Nah. Maybe it wasn't even the food? Maybe it was but it's a Behemoth-specific thing?
Watching others nibble is a good way to more workable answers, though. ]
Do you think your Big Guy put you here, on purpose? Or do you know anyone else who could have? I know you said you believe the 'Clerical Error' thing... just seems too convenient to me
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though, all things considered with heaven, he does have to wonder if it's a mock-apple pie... he stops eating mid-bite and starts to dig around in the pie looking for texture cues, squinting. he has to know.
then: ]
Please don't give them ideas. Hey, do you think this pie is real apples? They got really mad at me about apples a while back so I can't imagine they'd use real ones!
[ my brother of satan they probably did not make a pie out of ritz crackers.
he does seem to consider the question, then shakes his head. ]
No. He'd rather not think about me at all even to send me away. Again. As far as the clerical errors thing goes, while it's not normal, it would be normal if they let cherubs like those file it back home. They're, you know. [ a beat. ] As dumb as a sack of rocks!