TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[darkweb]

It's pretty arbitrary how they sort people, though, as far as I can tell. Even if not being okay was the point, I dunno how good of an idea it is to just sit back and accept that kind of treatment!

What are you usually like?

[It's hard to tell what the original form could possibly be, when faced with someone who looks like a normal looking human guy.]

[sanguinegale]

[Just the...blankest stare.]

No, I think they got it right this time...

[Paracelsus cannot deny that he probably deserves this somehow. But it's fine, his life was already Hell-]

Anyway, I was just an axe. [Stiffly, he chops the air with his hand, as if the idea of an axe is somehow hard to comprehend.] So I'm sure you can imagine this is a lot for me.

[darkweb]

Just an axe? Uwah... This is probably even weirder for you than it would be for me.

[He's very articulate for an axe. But, Taranza has seen living swords and all that. It's not the weirdest thing he can imagine.]

The point is! It doesn't really matter if you "deserve" to suffer or not, because for one thing they're not being consistent about who does or doesn't, and for another, you shouldn't have to suffer anyway!

[sanguinegale]

[...it's kind of sweet, being trusted so easily. But he supposes if he looks like a person now, then more people are going to treat him like one. If he was still his old self, he might've thought it was foolish, stupid even.

He can still play around with it, though.]

You're making a lot of nice assumptions for someone you only just met. How are you so sure I don't deserve it? Axes are only made with one thing in mind, you know.

[darkweb]

[Paracelsus seems fine for now, so Taranza backs up enough to put his hands on his hips in a huff.]

I'm not assuming anything! I'm saying I don't care if you deserve it or not! You think I deserve to be in Heaven? Because after learning enough about it, I'm pretty sure I don't. I just think a place where everyone is supposed to suffer forever sounds really stupid!

[He is becoming a Hell abolitionist,]

[sanguinegale]

[Oh geez, he's really serious about it, huh? Well, good luck with that, little buddy.]

I mean, it doesn't sound so bad. They did give me a free room...

[darkweb]

Your standards are low... But I'm not going to argue with you to say that you should be mad if you're not. I'm just saying, in general!

[sanguinegale]

You have no idea.

[But they are his low standards, dammit!]

It's all temporary anyway, right? I wouldn't worry yourself over it too much, I mean...it feels more like a break to me. Look, you even get to have pie.

[He looks over at the serving tables, as if that makes everything better now.]

You don't want pie?

[darkweb]

I like pie! But you can get a pie on basically any planet! Whateeeever! I'm not worrying about it that much!

...What's your favorite pie flavor?

[It seems like the polite thing to do to go over there and pick up some pie for him, if he's having trouble moving around.]