TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[princess_of_hell]

[She's already shaking her hands when he says the word 'Overlords', but she waits until he's done to reply] I don't, I don't. I'm not stupid, Dad.

[Will she mention Vox trying to send Sir Pentious in as a spy because of Alastor? Or how that army of cannibals didn't pop out of nowhere? Or that all those angelic weapons had to come from somewhere? Or the deal with Alastor? ...No.]

[applesolutely]

I know you're not, Charlie.

[ there's a moment where lucifer just looks at her, appraising. he doesn't seem angry, or disappointed, but there is something strange there.

then: ]

But neither am I. I'm sure that in future you'll remember what I've said.

[ it's almost like he knows an army and enough weapons for them don't come out of nowhere. a beat. ]

Hey, let's go see if a place I know of in Heaven back home is in this one!

[ subject over. ]

[princess_of_hell]

Daaad, are you sure these strolls down memory lane are healthy for you?

[She's getting worried.]

[applesolutely]

Well Charlie, it's either that or we keep talking about the Overlord thing, but you don't have anything about Overlords to tell me, do you?

[ babygirl he's the literal king of liars.

finally he sighs and waves a hand slightly. ]

Let's just go down to Hell, you're right. At least that'll be comforting in the most horrible way.

1/?

[princess_of_hell]

Are you still worried about Alastor...?

[she'll just completely disengage and walk in a circle, pacing, before coming back.]

Okay, Dad, it's like this. I'm not getting involved with Overlords in their political struggles with each other. That's what you meant, right? But individually, when I've needed something, yes, I've gone to one.

2/?

[princess_of_hell]

--Some.

3/?

[princess_of_hell]

--Or they came to me.

4/?

[princess_of_hell]

Anyway! No one thinks I'm representing you, or even Mom!

5/?

[princess_of_hell]

And, why would they? Because I'm your 'Heir'? Dad... you're not going anywhere! You'll always be King of Hell!

6/?

[princess_of_hell]

I'm... the 'delusional daughter,' with a 'passion project.'

7/?

[princess_of_hell]

And, actually? If that's what the Overlords need to think, that's fine. It's gotten me this far!

8/?

[princess_of_hell]

So, don't worry about me, Dad! I got this!

9/9 [done]

[princess_of_hell]

And... if I don't... you're on my contacts.

[she trails off into a nervous laugh.]

...And I won't stress myself so much before calling.

[finally she runs out of breath, taking a moment to get oxygen.]

1/?

[applesolutely]

Of course I’m worried about Alastor! He’s a horrible rat bastard of a sinner! I’ve known sinners like him for eons, Charlie! They’re bad news! And on top of that, going to Overlords like him, or having them come to you, accepting their help, asking for their help...

2/?

[applesolutely]

Even if it’s not the same as getting between their conflicts, it’s still dangerous on personal and political levels!

Help from Overlords always has a cost and it’s never a good one. Do you understand, Charlie? You can’t owe Overlords favors!

3/?

[applesolutely]

[ his voice is rising, but it’s not so much anger behind it as... anxiety. he almost sounds scared. ]

They’ll take advantage of you, your kindness, and everyone and everything you love.

4/?

[applesolutely]

[ the whole part about no one thinking she’s representing himself or lilith, the addition that she can’t be an heir because he’s never going anywhere, brings an insane little laugh out of him, something crackling and shattering like someone ringing a glass bell by smashing it with a crowbar.

this man is in the middle of a full mental breakdown. ]

5/6

[applesolutely]

Charlie. Everyone in Hell knows angels can be killed now. And everyone’s always known that the King of Hell is an angel.

6/6. done.

[applesolutely]

[ not was. is. he is still an angel even at home. that’s the point of calling him fallen. he’s still subject to the rules of angels even if he has a 'new' powerset from being a part of hell.

finally, with his voice perhaps softer than it’s ever been in charlie’s adult life: ]

Charlie, I don’t know anymore if I’m always going to be around to protect you. Which is why you need to know these things and know what you can and can’t do.

[princess_of_hell]

[the talk is drawing a lot more exasperation from Charlie and she hates she has to direct it at Dad after being so happy to see him, but here we are.]

Dad, the alternative was accept all of Hell would be killed, including me! And, be completely honest, take that description you just gave of Alastor. In your own words, how much of it applies to the entire population of Hell?

...You aren't going to be killed, Dad.

[applesolutely]

Please. Charlie. I'm not trying to be difficult. I told you I support your dream and I still do, but please understand that you need to be safe while doing it. That's all I'm asking of you, Charlie. As your father, not as the ruler of Hell. I will always do everything in my power to help you, but you need to be aware that the tiny chance that I won't always be around exists.

[ fuck. he's always been such a crybaby, even before the fall. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. ]

I'm not asking you to accept impossible odds. I wasn't going to press your past dealings with Overlords, either. In future, when it comes to Heaven, let me deal with them. I know how to do it and my hands are no longer tied.

[princess_of_hell]

[she puts a hand over her face and mumbles something to herself... something she knows she'll regret saying if she says it loud enough for him to hear.]

Dad... Dad, I believe you. But... you have to admit, you take a bleak view... at times.

Look, eventually Heaven will want to take back sinners after they've finished redemption. What will you say, then?

[applesolutely]

I know. I know I do, Charlie. And... I can't help it. I'm sorry. I'm trying. I wish you could've seen me when I wasn't like this. I wish I could've been a better father. I wish I'd been around more, that I hadn't let myself turn into what I've turned into, that I'd at least told you what was going on with me when I couldn't be what you need and deserve.

I wish a lot of things, but now all I can do is try to make up for my mistakes. And I know it's going to take time and it's going to take effort, but I'm going to do my best. That's part of redemption, right?

[ he reaches out and carefully cups her face with one hand, at least trying to smile. ]

What will I say when that happens? Good job, Charlie.

[ when, not if. ]

[princess_of_hell]

Dad...

[her heart melts and she thanks her lucky stars she just mumbled it. ;;

Then she jumps into another hug.]

[applesolutely]

[ he hugs her much more desperately than fully necessary, holding her tight as long as she'll let him.

then, finally, as he looks up at her: ]

I love you, Charlie. I've never been more grateful for anything or anyone than I've been for you. I promise I'm trying. Just give your old man some time to work on it, alright?