TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

Hell— just two alcoholics hanging out

[succinainteasy]

You just sat down, angel. Is that confidence talking or bravado? It makes me wonder how often you come down here to slum it.

[ Verosika runs a hand through her hair, reaching out with the same hand after to pick up her drink and empty half of it. ]

Hopefully that tell is that I’m shit at cards, I’m much more useful in the vip suites. Find me later and maybe I’ll show you a thing or two, kitty cat.

[ She would not be showing him a good time later, she’s simply fishing at this point. Tell her your secrets, Grumpy Cat. ]

Right now I’m just killing time.

[anatani_chikarawo]

...be very gentle.

[ Tiffa isn't sure how sensitive they are, but she turns a little to make sure a wing is near Seras. ]

[grumpface]

[Husk's eyes briefly and instinctively flit to the succubus's drink and upon determining that it had no chance at all at being spiked, especially when half-empty, before looking at the cards he was dealt.]

It's me usually bein' a sinner stuck in Pride talkin'. If you're that s♠♥♥ at cards., here's a little tip: It's more about probability than bluffin'.

[kuchisake_shojo]

[ ...what a sap. ]

You're such an angel, honestly.

[supersaver]

[..........NO, SHE'S PRETTY SURE THAT'S ALSO VERY ILLEGAL UNTIL SHE'S AT LEAST EIGHTEEN.]

M-Maybe there's something else to drink? I'm sure there's some lemonade, or some iced tea or something. Maybe even a virgin drink for me, and you can order something more, um...adult.

[A sangria is fruity as shit, but it's still technically alcoholic.]

[supersaver]

Yeah, you're pretty good at thi--eh? My ears? Ah...

[Oh, right. Ochako sometimes forgets she's got that new heteromorphism going on, though very slightly. She's a lot like Mirko now, mixed together with Hawks' wings. The thought idly passes of a secret lovechild between them and Ochako snorts loudly - best to keep that sort of thing to Todoroki...]

Ehehe, they are kind of cute, huh? There's actually a person back in my world who has rabbit ears and a tail, but they're white and pointy, not floppy like mine are. And she's got human legs. [Ochako lifts one of her rabbity feet and wiggles her toes a little.]

Your tail is super cute - it's so big and fluffy!!

[grumpface]

[And since when are there cops in hell?]

[Husk rolls his eyes.]

You wanted me to get comfortable, and I told you what would get me comfortable.

a

[livalil]

[ small child here, with horns and a forked tail! waving shyly. because she is very pretty and looking at him ]

Um... hello...

[nestingdevil]

[If he's noticed the change in attitude towards him, he doesn't show it. Instead, the Sin falls violently down into a crouch; his attention fully trained on the fly.] Not a bad idea, lovely. Not a bad idea at all. And while I think a whole lotta people would get a kick out of it, I don't know if it's enough to stop him next time. Isn't that right, friend?

[Greed's tail chimes in for him, opening up and buzzing like a flower with needles to share. He lets his hands sink between the spread of his knees.] Got something in mind. Killing him would be a waste - [His voice hisses through his teeth.] - but there's a local I know that just may be interested in having a chat.

[Only one comes to mind. One cold, cruel, and particularly ready to sink some sense into someone both physically and emotionally.] I can bring him there, if you want. [The smile on his face is all razors and sharp points.] Or you can come along with me. Seems to me you're the type of gal who can handle herself.

[He looks back up at her and his sunglasses shine bright with a streak of lamplight.] What's your name?

[princess_of_hell]

Oh, thank you! But, that's a risk I have to take! What's worse, taking a punch, or watching a riot break out?

[Though, calling her 'Princess' unprompted and asking about techniques makes her jump and gasp.]

OH MY GOSH, are you serious??

[princess_of_hell]

[She gets away the last of the tears.] Ahahaha... well, Dad is! I'll take that as a compliment, but, I'm no angel.

[technicaldifficulties]

[ he shakes her hand as his own smile broadens. val sure does know how to pick them. he looks forward to seeing what she can do. ] It's a bit more than that, but, sure, let's just stick with business partners.

What has Val got you doing?

[technicaldifficulties]

...heh. [ his smile widens. ] I'm afraid the only time slot Alastor could afford was one of the worst. Not surprising honestly. And Ms. Killjoy has a temper, I'll admit, but she also pulls in the numbers we're looking for. [ his entire demeanor seems to change when she mentions val. ] And what's wrong with Val? [ he's the best. ]

Are you trying to tell me how to do my job? [ he straightens up and laughs. ]

[technicaldifficulties]

I have people for that,
but I could certainly find somebody to take care of you.
And don't worry about that... right now.
We can negotiate.
But what's most important is keeping something from happening to you, don't you think?

[technicaldifficulties]

[ and he's not going to admit shit either. however, as she hooks an arm in his elbow he trips her up, knocking her off balance, so that he can catch her in a dip. he missed her too. ] I'm real disappointed that I couldn't see you covered in blood. [ he has to imagine she helped... unless all she really did is hold the leash, but even still, watching velvette put her foot down and take charge is so incredibly fucken hot. ]

Of course that whore would open his stupid mouth. That's all he's good at doing. [ he straights up and lets her lead. ] I think we need to make sure Val finds a new plaything. Angel was -the- one, so he just needs a replacement. Somebody better.

[technicaldifficulties]

It's a great idea, and if anybody gives us shit, then we'll just convince them another way. [ vox is certain that the three of them will have absolutely no problems culling the herd of masterless cattle now grazing in hell. ]

[ this is dangerous, val. you're covered in blood, and your clothes are a mess, ...vox was already having a hard time keeping his hands off of you. ]

Maybe if I can tire you out it won't be so difficult. [ he smirks, but val's exasperation has it fading shortly after. ] All we need is a foundation. We'll have V Tower again soon enough.

Guess who's late with starbs but I brought u a latte | Hell

[hookersandblows]

[ And in precisely 3 seconds, the poor imp who Charlie had been talking to gets three precisely aimed shots right at him in quick succession. Looking in the direction those shots came from would rveal one rather familiar moth, who looks a MESS. His neckfluff's roughed up, wings shoddily folde behind him, he's clearly been in the thick of it - and he looks exhilarated. ]

Move it or lose it, princess. These bastardos are out for blood and they're not looking for therapy.

[ Just gonna blow Moneyshot's barrel. It's still smoking and he needs to reload. ]

[princess_of_hell]

... Is that what it sounded like? I'm sorry. I'm sure you don't need someone to tell you how to do your job...

[his job of being a Demon Overlord, sure.]

But, um... ahahaha... let's get back to your question! Yes, I do intend to re-start some version of my Hotel, something that rehabilitates sinners, but... hm...

[typically, it's taking Charlie longer to find the polite way to phrase 'there is no way in Hell I am making a deal with you.']

That is, I think I've got a pretty established 'public reputation' at this moment... any deal we made would probably be a bit... lopsided. In my direction! And, I wouldn't want to put you in that situation where you'd have to say 'no'...

[deerlisteners]

[Sorry Vox, but if you're expecting Alastor to get worked up, you're going to have to work a little harder at it. He remains cool as a cucumber, and gives a nonchalant shrug. When he talks about his radio station, it's with pride and cheer]

Oh, the radio station? It's quite nice, actually! Downtown, you see. Very central, very chic. I do own a shack, though. There's a lovely swamp in this Hell and I, mmm... liberated a fishing cabin from one of the locals. Needs a little spitshine and a few upgrades, but it does so remind me of my original home!

[another shrug] Well, that doesn't sound very pleasant. Isn't that something you're into anyway?

YAY

[princess_of_hell]

[She screams and practically dances away from the gunshots, but there's no gratitude in her eyes. It's not just shock that it's Valentino who's in front of her, but that he brought a gun. And bullets.]

W-Wait, you don't need to kill them! Everything's fine!

[Fortunately for Charlie, everyone decided to be sane and give her a wide berth lest Valentino decide to use them for target practice next.]

[deerlisteners]

Dee-jay? [Alastor thinks for a moment, then something clicks] Ah! Yes. "Disc-jockey". That phrase came about a little after my time, but I've heard it in Hell a few times since then. In the old days I mostly handled my own music, but... outsourcing would give me more time to work on other content.

[hookersandblows]

[ What, like he'd not let Moneyshot have any fun? These guys are lucky he left the AK47 at home. ]

I don't need to but I want to~

Besides.

[ Another headshot. The princess makes for great bait while he's just picking off the ones that go for her. ]

I need the target practice. Don't want to get rusty now do we?

A

[tequila_sunset]

This one is strange, large and made of thick dark writhing tentacles in the shape of a person. With only an old fashioned trench coat to cover its bulky body. The sleeves end in hands, or at the very least gloves. A blank eyeless mask covers where the humanoid silhouette suggests a face, lesser tendrils forming a kind of ‘hairdo’ that undulates like its feeling the air. A living mullet.

When it hears Seras’ voice it’s whole mass flinches and curls in on itself, the hands and tendrils working together to grip at the mask, pressing it harder against whatever is behind it.

“Fuck…I know it’s bad. It’s really bad.”

The voice is muffled but clearly warbly with a sense of shame.

[hookersandblows]

You know what it takes to tire me out, cariño...

[ There was a purr in his voice even as he's back to sliding one of his lower arms around Vox's waist. He's never had any qualms about touching, after all. ]

Let's go. These chumps are getting boring. They crumple too easy.

[princess_of_hell]

Valentino.

[Oh, that did it. Maybe it's the adrenaline, their history, the outright display of callousness, or the fact she hasn't realized even the bullet wounds would heal, but her horns start to sprout as he's getting another look at her angry, demonic form.]

What makes you think you have the right to kill my people like that, right in front of me??