TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

garden!!

[deerlisteners]

[Alastor is putting up his flyers when he hears someone cursing. Or... trying to? But getting bleeped out, in real time! He finds the source of the voice in time to see him put a pie into someone's face. The Radio Demon cackles]

Oh my! Now THAT is comedy! Not the pie, the censorship. The wrath of the FCC comes for us all!! Ahahahah!!

[bugbeverage]

[ No Greed, you right. ]

[Beetlejuice looks up from trying to squeeze through and break in line. When he spots Greed he gives him a yellow grin.]

Fresh off the boat--I was already dead, so imagine my surprise! HAH! The Hell I knew was nothing like this! What's your name, pal?

[helluvamess]

Hey fuck you! Pigs don't have tails like this.

[He grabs for another flyer and... actually reads this one.]

Oh shit you're doing the radio shit here after all? Needs a better name though. Like fucking... Alastor's Radio Show Extraordinaire.

We could do a jingle like "A.R.S.E.! It's the show for you and me!"

Heaven

[orkin]

[ Thankfully she's so small that her shadow doesn't immediately alert him to the danger he's in. Instead, it'll probably be the wiggling of the chair as she climbs up the back and stares down at him with a mixture of awe and.. something else. Oh, look, she managed to cast a shadow after all!

When he opens his eyes, he'll find himself peering up at a pint-sized, one-eyed sinner who has a flyer for Alastor's radio show in one hand and a mouthful of sharp teeth that are framed by a smile. Her other hand is stretched out so she can poke at his sunglasses with some quiet snickering.

Not weird at all, right? Right. ]

An imp!

Re: Garden

[grumpface]

[...Husk would go on to say that he really didn't mean to say that, but he's lazy and not that petty, so eh.]

...Lemme guess. They said your ♣♥♥ died, too, huh? With they didn't choose someone with hair as nice as yours.

[??????]

[Husk groans, frustrated. He needs a fucking drink.]

[livalil]

[ walking up to him meekly with a little flyer ]

Do you have any other jobs?

D. un: Uravity

[supersaver]

Portals? Well, I'd suppose if someone had the right quirk, it'd be easy.
I don't know if anyone here can warp...I haven't met them yet, but considering that a lot of the people here have a quirk or SOME kind, it's possible to find one with a quirk that can open portals.
Or teleport in some way.

[deerlisteners]

[some of the wild boars out in the woods had that kind of Look to them, but Alastor isn't going to argue about something so trivial]

Of course! I said I would find a way to occupy my time, didn't I? And radio is just the bee's knees. [minecraft villager mmmmmmmmmmm] ... No. Not "ARSE".

[grumpface]

[Husk huffs.]

Those mother♣♥♠♦ers have no idea what they're doin'. Slappin' a sticker directly onto my ♠♥♦♦in' fur and leavin' everyone here unattended. Whatever system they have is gonna fall apart easily with the more opportunistic people.

[deerlisteners]

[Alastor tries to stop himself from laughing at the censoring, but he can't. It sputters out as a snort]

Oh my... Well, it's not permanent, at least. There's a very good chance they'll have this all sorted out in just a few days.

[twominutes]

[ look, fizz may not be up to date on sinner shit. hell, you could call him sheltered, despite everything, but when he wheels around to glare at the guy with the weird fucking voice (look who's talking), he pauses. yeah, okay, he knows an overlord when he sees one.

anyway! he just crosses his arms over his chest instead of tossing aborted obscenities his way. ]

Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.

1/2

[youbeautifulidiot]

[Getting handed a flyer, Veneer perks up...at least until he sees who's all over it. Oh...bummer. It's THIS guy. Still, he tries to keep his energy for as long as he can, he has a point to make, dammit!]

Oh woooow, radio! I loooove radio. You know, I actually miss being on the radio, fun times. Topping charts, hearing your own voice, it's almost like I'm exactly the kind of person you're looking for!

[youbeautifulidiot]

Too bad you wanted to EAT ME!

[deerlisteners]

[oh, the boy who likes jazz! Hmmm...]

Mmm. The radio business is very technical. Have you any experience with broadcasting equipment?

[bugbeverage]

Oh, it's a sch--nevermind!

[ He flutters a hand and points to the projector screen again. The image has changed to a two panel diagram of a person with a book standing before a terrified ghost that disappears. ]

Listen, one thing all the dead I know of fear is blinking out of existence. And that's the one thing sandworms do...but if that's a bust...we could start a rumor that exorcisms have started happening in Hell. Getting exorcised is about as bad as being eaten.

[livalil]

[ shaking his head ]

I work in a coffee shop....

[ "work" is being used very generously here ]

Garden :>

[orkin]

[ Gross. It's not even the compliment that stuns her, it's the very heavenly color scheme he has going on here. She almost looks like she's about to start backing away when he tries to swear, and she's delighted again. Without missing a beat, she closes the distance between them and prods at his new attire incessantly.

Welcome back to your own personal Hell, Husk. ]

Hey! I didn't know your name was Harry.

[deerlisteners]

Oh, don't take it personally! [he flaps his hand dismissively] I want to eat most people. But-- I will say that those under my employ are safe from becoming my dinner. [... for the most part]

[grumpface]

This place ain't like Charlie's hotel. There's no point in bein' optimistic about any of this bull♠♣♥♦. If anythin', given how poorly-run everythin' is around here, the Vees will have a much easier time gamin' whatever system these ♣♥♠♦♥♣bags pulled out of their ♥♠♠.

[deerlisteners]

Mmm... well. Unfortunately, I don't have anything "entry level", dear boy. Though I suppose if you wish to learn, you could hang about -- as long as you stay out of the way.

[livalil]

Oh.....

[ disappointedly holding his flyer. he has mouths to feed, okay ]

If I learn, then can I get a job later? I'll be good.

[ he'll stay out of the way!!!!]

[grumpface]

[......................................Hi, Niff. Husk just lets it happen.]

It ain't. It's still Husk.

Do you know what the ♠♥♣♦ is goin' on?

[look, Husk is already fed the fuck up right now. He'll ask ANYONE for answers.]

[youbeautifulidiot]

[His fur bristles, tail lashing, AND YET...]

...I mean, I guess that's how the industry works... Just, you know, way less literally...

[deerlisteners]

Oh, please. There's no "system" to game here. This Hell is completely toothless. Soul contracts have almost no meaning, there are no Overlords, no extermination, free travel between realms... So just relax! Try to enjoy yourself. You'll get wrinkles from frowning so much.

[deerlisteners]

[awww... reminds him of a young him!!! interning at a radio station, learning the ropes...]

Perhaps. But I can't pay you to observe. Mmmmmmm.... I suppose I could give you a little petty cash if you run errands for me...