TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

[deerlisteners]

What a concept, indeed.

[Either way, Alastor's body language relaxes a bit, ears now in an erect position and tail swishing slowly. Lucifer is... well, not quite an "enemy", but something like one... but at least he's familiar. Even Alastor gets weary of the passive aggressive jabs and cruel glances he gets whenever he heads up to Heaven.]

Hah! We're at least honest with ourselves in Hell. [his eyes flick up to the halo. He taps it with his staff and it makes a pleasant ringing sound] Mmm. It's a bit underwhelming for "the most beautiful of all God's angels", but thus far everything about this knock-off afterlife has been.

truly he is unredeemable

[sanguinegale]

[screaming internally]

W-Well then what do I do to keep it from doing that?!

[deerlisteners]

[A bit of a low growl overlaid with radio chatter and static]

Nothing, on it's own. But there's a certain thorn in my side who has the ability to manipulate digital media, much like I can manipulate radio waves. He's not particularly threatening, but that doesn't mean I want to roll out the red carpet for him. My business is my business, not his.

[applesolutely]

[ a tiny vindictive part of lucifer thinks about how it's all nothing compared to what he went through after the fall. but that's not important and doesn't stay on his mind long.

he grimaces at the ringing of the halo, reaching up to stop the sound before it gets on his nerves again. ]

Oh, if it was the whole shebang like back in the day, I probably would have exploded.

[ mildly. suspiciously mildly. ]

It does stick around a lot better than the real thing did, haha! I can't tell you how many of these things I've tossed, but it keeps coming back!

[dj_dedf1sh]

Manipulate digital media...

[ They mull it over for a moment, trying to remember if they saw anyone of that description. Then they think back to that weird text they got... ]

You don't mean the guy who literally blew up random people's phones, do you?

[deerlisteners]

Well, I'm sure it was quite the vision. Probably enough to sear a mere mortal's eyes out, hm? And that seems to be the way with whatever nonsense the little sheeple have decided we need. [he swishes his tail into his open hand] This appendage, for instance! Care to guess how many times I've sliced it off, only for it to grow back? Like a weed.

[applesolutely]

Oh, that's adjustable. I would've been pretty useless in the Garden if all I did was sear their eyes out!

[ he rocks on the balls of his feet, glancing over at alastor's tail. ]

Oh, dozens at least. [ sounds like he's speaking from experience. then he grins, tilting his head toward alastor. ]

I want to test something. Go ahead. Break it. Let's see if it sticks that way! Also, it's quite the show. These shitheads deserve the scare.

[deerlisteners]

Hmph. The same. He goes by the name "Vox", and I don't want him anywhere near my studio unless I've given explicit permission. So I'm afraid you'll have to make due to analog.

[bloodyrose]

I wouldn't call it that. It really was hell. I'm only hoping this one won't be the same.

[ Zero doesn't know how much more he would be able to handle that. True, he did spend quite a bit of time back home again, but some things are ingrained upon the mind and body. ]

Nothing changed, no. Not that I've noticed. Why?

[deerlisteners]

Fancy~

[he nods in response] At the very least. I've given at least two or three of them to Niffty to use as feather dusters.

[he peers up at the halo again, then puts his hand to his chest] Really? You're offering such an exciting endeavor? Well then. I suppose these little fools could use a bit of entertainment.

[he's not sure he should touch it with his bare hands, though, so he summons a pair of shadow tentacles. He snatches the halo away with one of them and then looks at it closely for a moment. Then he looks back at Lucifer] ... This isn't going to kill me, is it? Lulling me into a false sense of security?

[dj_dedf1sh]

Eesh.

[ That guy was a jerk, they can see why this guy doesn't want him around. ]

Fine by me. Let's see what I'm working with here.

[deerlisteners]

[oh, not a bit. It's very common in Hell, after all, for Sinners to have... unique dentition. He himself has a mouthful of yellowed fangs, which he displays in an equally disconcerting smile]

Oh? I've never been the best at quirky, catchy little titles... I'm all ears, friend.

[deerlisteners]

Of course, my dear.

[Alastor gestures to the setup with his cane. As far as analog goes, the set up is quite fancy. State of the art, for what it is. There's turntables and cassette players and even some old school compact disc readers. Nothing connected to the internet, or directly to Hell's power grid. It had been quite a pain to create a barrier on the transformer leading to the station, but he'd managed.]

Acclimate yourself, and then give me a taste of your abilities. Consider it a working interview, Miss Acht. Mister Acht? What do you prefer, my dear?

[applesolutely]

What can I say, I'm feeling generous!

[ and he thinks it'll be funny, and he's genuinely curious if it'll stick. and if it does, the entertainment alastor gets from it will be enough lucifer won't feel endebted to him. a win-win!

having shadow tentacles grabbing it does feel much weirder than hands though and a brief, almost imperceptible shudder runs through him before he squints up at alastor and waves a hand dismissively. ]

Even if it were the real thing it wouldn't! You wouldn't be able to break it, likely, but this one should be fine.

[ if alastor does go through with it, the crack is so loud the windows rattle but there's no other physical blowback; the glow will melt away and the metal will go dull in the grasp of the tentacles.

lucifer's eyes will flash red, sharp and bright and, for a moment, triumphant as flames lick up the sides of his face, eyes glowing, horns growing, the snake on his hat lifting as a sickening approximation of what the halo once was—and then, an audible pop yet again as a new halo pops into existence and his eyes flick back to blue as everything goes back to "normal." ]

Oh, come on!

[ the barista bringing out alastor's order drops it in the chaos, but lucifer sighs and flicks out a wing to catch it before it crashes to the ground. ]

Well. It was worth a shot!

[dj_dedf1sh]

[ ... Actually, this isn't so bad. Kinda reminds them of what they worked with back in that underground club, minus the laptop. ]

Uh... Just Acht is fine. Pronouns are they/them if you're wondering.

[ Now that the awkward gender statement's out of the way, they investigate the setup. First thing they do is find some cords that plug into their headphones... Get the turntables and records ready... Is there a keyboard anywhere? ]

You don't mind if I throw in some original music, do you? This isn't my normal setup, but I can improvise.

[deerlisteners]

[He seems a bit skeptical, but... in the end, he can't resist the urge to destroy something beautiful. He wraps both tentacles around it and breaks it in two. The crack makes his ears ring, but it is very satisfying.

It loses its light and its ring, little more than two pieces of weird metal, now. He watches Lucifer regain his demonic form, only for it to vanish just as quickly.

Ah.

So that's what this is about.

The King of Hell isn't comfortable in his own skin anymore, it seems. Unfortunate.

The wing catches a cardboard box with some coffee grinders in it. A pair of other workers bring out another box, this one with some simple brewers, and two 50 lb bags of roasted beans. They set them down and quickly scurry back off]

Took them long enough. [he puts the pieces of the broken halo inside his jacket, then snaps his fingers. Two of his larger shadow minions appear and pick up the heavy items for him] I shan't be staying here any longer than necessary. [he turns his smile on the first barista, sclera black and antlers grown to twisted branches] And I trust the next time I have to pick up supplies, I won't be made to w̷̥̆̎̉à̵̢͓i̷̩̼̋̃̾t̵̢̑̕͝ ̷̙̳̇͠q̷̫̘̓̉͝ȗ̸͍i̵̡̛͎̍̈́͜ț̸̔́͜ͅė̷̪̓̓ ̸̻̦̥͌̾s̶̢̨̻̍ǫ̷̌͋ ̶̧̡̲̊ľ̴̼͉͝o̸͎̱̒͑̔n̷̛͙̑͊g̶̢͙̀̊͜.̷̫͒͐

[between his intimidation and Lucifer's little show, it seems the coffee shop workers have gotten the hint. The barista nods a little too enthusiastically, shrinking away and sweating]

Splendid.

[behemoth_betrayed]

[ Well, call Abby a narcissist, but that smile is simply charming~ ]

Admittedly I was going for unique and creative more than quirky catchy. And, I wanted to stick to the basic concept of stitching together something 'you' with something 'radio'.

[ All four visible eyes (the extras each in the center of his forehead and the dip of his collarbone) comb the snazzy stranger from from face to toes and back again, drinking in the colorful details. ]

'The Radiolytic Hart', is the first thing I thought. 'Radiometric', maybe, but that sounds a bit more pedestrian, in my opinion. But, with your charm and demeanor? 'Hart' is definitely something you should play with.

[applesolutely]

[ to be fair, lucifer is slowly getting used to having it again. but it does feel like ants crawling under his skin to know it's there, and frankly, alastor knowing that is a horrible thing, to be true, but in this place it really won't matter.

and, just like that, lucifer is back to normal. for real normal, at least in expression, as he goes back to sucking loudly at the straw of his drink, purposely as annoying as possible.

he watches alastor's show with very slightly raised eyebrows, then shrugs. honestly, the angels in this cafe deserve it.

he waits for alastor to start leaving before he trails out after him, considering his words thoughtfully before he speaks. ]

You know, none of those angels are high-ranking enough for their halos to be any more sturdy than that. I wonder what would happen if—

[ —then he hears himself. yikes! he waves off the thought and the words with a hand like so much smoke in the air and then sighs. ]

Well, at least one coffee shop had the fear of Hell put into them!

[deerlisteners]

Of course, of course. I look forward to our future endeavors.

[deerlisteners]

... Naturally. [you know that's not what he means, Charlie. But he's not going to press it!] Not to worry though -- once this little forced vacation is over, I'll be happy to return to my duties at our hotel. Now then, I trust our business is all finished here?

[deerlisteners]

Ah, moving heavy items... actually, I could use a bit of help with that. There's some equipment I won't be utilizing that I need moved out of the building, and I've ordered an industrial-sized generator.

[princess_of_hell]

I love the optimism, Alastor! Thank you so much! In the mean time, yes! I know I'll be excited to see you there!

And, hey, we're hardly strangers! If you want to talk or do anything... call me whenever!

[princess_of_hell]

[There's a moment where Charlie just watches. Or at least, Charlie can only gawk at the display before her brain catches up with what her eyes tell her she just saw. And it takes a few more minutes before her brain can tell register exactly what words are being spoken at her.]

W-Well, to say it the long way, there's positivity, and then there's negativity. Positivity is building something up! Doing something creative! Developing your emotional and physical strength toward something positive! Free-for-all street fights like this are definitely negative all around! For the person in it, the person reacting to it, the person creating it... definitely the person watching it...

But, to put it shortly... "it's mean"?

[behemoth_betrayed]

[ His head cants to the side as he listens, curling one black claw against his jawline. Her explanation carves a golden grin wide enough to bare his fangs. The slightest bit of smoke curls in ribbons between them. Oh, she's precious. ]

You can't split existence into a mere faction of two, girl. That's not Cosmically sound. Bare minimum is four elements, so your black-and-white Positive vs. Negative rhetoric doesn't quite hold up.

[ Maybe he's coming off as a bit of an ass? He's not trying to be-- more so, just informative. A flawed understanding of reality is just going to end up giving this poor girl a headache. ]

This is all Fire energy. [ He gestures around to the gratuitous violence with four bending writs, and a faintly amused smirk. ] Probably too much of it, but. Each element has it's function.

You just might have a better time using it, then trying to stamp it out.

[princess_of_hell]

Hod on, hold on. If it's not too much trouble... I'd like to ask you what exactly you mean when you talk about Fire energy. --And please, huge favor! Don't demonstrate by ripping off someone else's limb.