heckinooc | TDM 001!!

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]

B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]

C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]

OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Taranza is also Heaven-bound, also down here looking to see if someone is here, just in case. So he has his own not-from-around-here vibe that the locals are making obvious in their reactions to him, even if the only angelic trait he has are some silvery-white feathers on the top of his head.

He tilts that head, considering the description of Asmodeus very seriously. It's not an unheard-of description of someone, from his perspective, but he can't place it. This guy sounds like he probably looks really cool...]

Mmm, no, I don't think I've seen anyone like that, sorry. ... I don't suppose you've seen someone who looks like a wasp, a little larger than you?

[Spoilers, she's not here. But he has to at least ask.]

[ hmmmm, another person that looks wildly out of place in hell due to angel-ness, but also looks wildly out of place as an angel... inchresting. very inchresting.

anyway he sighs, but does listen to the description he gets in return, genuinely thinking about it before shaking his head. ]

Nah man, I'm sorry. ████ sucks, this is even worse than normal Hell.

I don't think I caught all of that...

[Are words broken? Hard to understand accent?? He moves on from it.]

But, thanks for your time at least!

You've been to Hell before?

I'm being censored in real time. Some kind of cosmic joke.

[ wow, none of these people have heard of hellborn at all... ]

I was born there. I'm an Imp.

You can be born in an afterlife? Huh... I didn't know.

But if this isn't the real one you're from, it's just another point in favor of this place being super fake! Basically everything about it is fishy!

Well, there are different rings of Hell! Sinners are only on the Pride ring. That's where a lot of imps are too, but potato potato, you know?

[ however, he gets heated again. ]

RIGHT? If the important people aren't here, what the ████ is the point? Just a weird aquarium to put people in? ████ that!

Oh—! Is the person you're looking for someone who's supposed to be in charge?

[That makes this all even more interesting!]

If he is, shouldn't he have some kind of palace? I guess that's not here either?

Oh. Yeah. Or, well, of one ring... I meant important to me though. I don't care about politics.

[ he never has. all he cares about is... the art of the clown. ]

But no, the tower isn't here. Not as far as I can tell.

Hmmm...

[Ah. This situation seems even worse, when this is supposed to be the place this stranger is from, and yet it's clearly not. Taranza imagines if Heaven, the knock-off moralistic version of Floralia, actually claimed to be Floralia, even without any trace of its history or former queen... Ugh. It feels dirty even to think about.

He keeps most of that mental tangent to himself. What he actually says is:]

I guess that's worth triggering the censorship so much, if it's like that. Sorry you got stuck here.

I feel like it's one of those 'sorry to everyone that ended up ████ing stuck here, unless you for some reason have an even ████tier life back home, in which case, wow, sorry for that part,' kind of situations, you know? Like, hopefully ████ gets sorted out! For everyone!

[ a shrug. ]

At least, for now, I sort of know what Hell's supposed to be like.

Do you think that's actually going to help, or is it just going to get you tripped up when it's different from what you expect?

TDM 001!!

hell

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i disappeared on vacation for a while sorry,