TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

➥ Hell

[nestingdevil]

[He's halfway through peeling a board off the window of his new bar when he hears the question. The wood cracks under the pressure of his claws and as he yanks at it with one, final pull, it gives way, leaving splintering bits and cocked-crooked nails to meet the rest of the garbage on the street.]

Hmn? [Greed drops the wooden plank and shakes his wrist to remove any stubborn bits stuck to his nails. Truth be told, he's a little surprised by what he sees when he tips his head over his shoulder. Not that the High and Righteous types aren't allowed down below, but this one's all wild gestures, odd movements, and nothing that he's saying makes a lick of sense.]

[Still, he looks a little desperate, doesn't he?]

[The Sin flattens one of his four hands along the dip of his shoulder to knead at a stiff spot.] Oi, oi. Slow down for a second, would ya? [He's trying to catch up on everything Fizz is saying: big guy, purple, rooster tail, one (no three) faces. The former homunculus finds the spot, presses it, and a deep, pleased rumble teases in his chest.] Ah - sorry, friend. Haven't run into someone like that. [Slipping two of his claws into his pocket, Greed goes to pinch the lip of half-bent cigarette pack.]

[He pulls out two smokes in between his knuckles.] Let's start with a name, huh? Who's this person you're looking for?

[twominutes]

[ well, at least he's being paid attention to and answered, even if this guy doesn't know where asmodeus is. or who he is, probably. and yeah, sure, he's getting pretty despondent about that, but maybe some conversation will help relax him. at least this guy seems chill (?) at least for now. ]

Sorry, sorry, I'm kind of freaking out here. I haven't been this far from him in... Well, almost a decade.

[ he chews on the inside of his cheek, then continues. ]

His name's Asmodeus, he's the Sin of Lust back home. [ a beat, and he finally just says it: ] He's my boyfriend. Business partner. Business boyfriend. Look, we're dating and we work together.

[nestingdevil]

Ah - ? Why are you sorry? [Greed lowers his head to snatch both cigarettes on the points of his teeth.] Sounds like a pretty rough deal to me. Don't worry about it.

[Casually, he draws a match up the side of his thigh, causing the tip of it to pop open with a blaze of fire and a hint of silver-spun smoke. Lust. Now, that's one he does know, but this isn't the same person. The Sin lazily arches one of his eyebrows and as he lifts the match to his face, he sucks at the filters of both cigarettes to churn their tips a cherry red.]

[He tosses the match to the curb a second later.] I knew a Lust before, but we're definitely not talking about the same person. [And she's far, far, from dating material. More a stabber than a lover.] Asmodeus - no, I haven't heard that name yet. [Once the smokes are good and lit to his satisfaction, he pinches one out from his jaws and flips it over so the filter is facing Fizz.]

Not sure if you're the smoking type, but - [He lets it hang there as a silent offer.] - think you could make an exception this time.

[twominutes]

Oh. Uh. Okay.

[ apology aborted.

he watches in interest as the man before him lights up two cigarettes at once, which someone else might think was overkill but frankly the more things a person can do at once the cooler, in fizz's opinion. there's something graceful about it, really, that's interesting.

but anyway, something clicks into place during this conversation, from a conversation he'd had earlier. when he mentions knowing a lust, actually.

and the two cigarettes makes more sense when one's offered to him: he takes it easily, though his eyes flick to the red cherry like he's looking for something that's not there. (asmodeus had lit his last one, before he went on stage to quit his job, and the fire had been so blue in a sea of green—it doesn't matter.)

he takes a long, slow drag, then sighs out the smoke in soft whorls and curls. it's a comfort. ]

Thanks. My nerves are ████. [ a vague wince at the censoring. it sounds like the jingle of the bells on his hat. ] Anyway, you're Greed, right? Someone mentioned you earlier, and she was right. You are waaaaay hotter than my insane ex-boss. What a Satan██████ relief you're not him though, whoo-whee.

[nestingdevil]

[As soon as Fizz takes the cigarette, the Sin pulls his hand away, letting the fumes drift in between his fingers like ribbons.] Like I said, don't mention it. Looked to me like you could use it. [The smoke in his mouth bobs while he talks; the burnt-orange tip swaying and dipping to the mercy of his teeth. He doesn't miss the censoring part, but the imp's slight wince is enough of a tell that keeping his mouth shut on the matter is probably best.]

[Greed inhales, dragging a fresh burn deep into his chest.] Hmn? [A hint of surprise touches his face, only to be broken apart again when he suddenly leans over with a barking laugh.] Not very subtle, was she? But you're right - I'm Greed. [He wraps two of his four hands between the bottom of his ribcage and the top of his hips and settles them there.] Gunna guess you're from that other Hell then, right? A couple of people here have mentioned it before -

[And while avarice can be wild, insane is a little much, even for him. Sure, he's got a hunger that's never quite satisfied, but there are certain rules. Certain lines, certain bridges, even he won't cross.]

[Greed rolls one of his feet forward to lift his heel off the concrete.] The Greed you know sounds like he doesn't get it at all if that's what you think of him. [There's a bite to his words - his smile coy, yet daring.] Glad to hear I haven't left that kind of impression yet. Would hate for someone to get the wrong idea about me.

[He pauses to pull his cigarette from his mouth and with a soft flick of his thumb, he ashes it in a nearby puddle.] You already know my name, though. Think you can tell me yours?

[twominutes]

Yeah, that essentially the opening remark. 'This Greed is hot.' Which, fair! She wasn't wrong. Girl has her priorities in order.

[ he's grinning a little more easily now; it's easy enough to drop into conversation with a focus, as he takes another drag of the cigarette. ] But yeah, the 'other' Hell. I've seen a couple people from back home so far, each as deeply confused as the last!

[ and... look, he's a simple guy. if someone that doesn't even know mammon is going to shit talk him, fizz is ALL over it. ] Yeah, Mammon is... I used to look up to him, he was the best of the best, but you know what they say, get used and abused by a guy for a decade and the sheen dims a little! Now he's just some lazy ████ that profits off of hurting people. It's me, I'm people.

[ he bounces a bit on the balls of his feet, gathering himself together for the intro. ]

Normally I'd be really dramatic and fancy about this, but I'm in full cigarette mode right now so I'm going to spare you the literal clown show. My name's Fizzarolli. Hell's greatest clown ten years running, blah blah blah. I'm retired now!

[nestingdevil]

[A sultry expression pulls at his upper lip, exposing a bit more of his teeth.] Sounds like she knows her stuff, then. I wonder which one you ran into - [Trailing off, the Sin places the cigarette back into his mouth and immediately takes a nice, long drag off it, causing the tip to fume to a crispy red.]

[When he exhales, it's through his nose this time, forcing the smoke to rush out in a cloud like a dragon releasing smog.] I'm sure it's a bit confusing, what with another Hell to worry about. Sounds like a real pain in the ass. [Because for him, at least, he had no other Hell to worry about, no other afterlife to compare it to. Instead, it had been the white-hot promise of nothing. An oblivion that would have stripped him bare, leaving behind only an emptiness.]

[And thing about avarice? Well, the notion of nothing is about as close one can get to a real sort of Hell.]

[The cigarette eats itself away on his lip and Greed quickly makes short of the rest before flicking the butt onto the street with his finger.] Mammon, huh. [He repeats the name, his tone dropped and humming. There's a second where that smile on his face almost gets dark. However, it's gone again, disappearing as sure as the last dregs of ash in his lungs.] Doesn't sound like I was wrong. People like that - they've got the whole wrong idea. Greed isn't just for money and power.

[But he'll skip the speech for now. There's no need for it and really, Fizzarolli probably has enough to deal with already.] I am sorry about that, though. If you end up sticking around, this place will be open soon. [He thumbs over his shoulder towards the building in question. A soft, pink light teases through where the boards had once been.] Stop by sometime. First one's on the house. Think you deserve a little after all that huh?

[But then, the imp goes on his introduction, and the Sin's chin tilts up just so. He watches with a kind of innocent intrigue; his eyebrows all raised up high on his forehead.] Oh - ? Hell's greatest clown, huh? Ha - ! That's pretty impressive! [A whistle traps itself in his cheek.] Shame you retired. Could use some more folks down here who know how to have a little fun.