TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

i divined a clown was needed

[twominutes]

[ sorry blitzø, he didn't realize it was you before he did the pie gag.

however, once he's getting properly yelled at and shaken he squeaks (in surprise, obviously) and starts to carefully try to wipe some of the pie off the other imp's face. ]

████! I didn't realize it was you! Also, what the ████ is going on?!

always and forever <3

[helluvamess]

[The bleeps make him stop at least, and he's half wondering if he's had a stroke somehow and hasn't realised.]

The fuck is wrong with your voice?

[Look they can get to the rest. This is more important, clearly.]

:') <3

[twominutes]

That's what you're ███████ worried about?! I'm censored here, ███████, and I can't say ████ about ████ and it's really pissing me off! ████!!!!

[ yeah okay by the time blitzø had gotten to him he'd just barely gotten over his earlier panicking, so now it's sort of ramping up again a little. his tail has even started to curl around his own legs tightly, protectively—not from blitzø, but his own stress. ]

[helluvamess]

[Yeah, he can recognise the signs even after this long, and he tugs Fizz into a hug which just... seems like a normal thing to do right now. It's probably best not to think about it.]

Fuck, I'm sorry, Fizz. This has gotta be a lot for you, then I just started yelling at you and not helping...

[Fizz would probably be forgiven for thinking that this isn't actually Blitzø at this point.]

[twominutes]

[ YEAH UHHHHHHHHHH HE KIND OF TENSES IN THE HUG BECAUSE HE'S SO CONFUSED? WHAT IS HAPPENING?

this can't be blitzø, right? the guy from whom getting any kind of emotion is like pulling teeth with your bare hands? what the fuck?

but the things blitzø's saying are so nice? and really what fizz needs to hear right now? so he just?

starts crying. also clings like a weird clown koala. it's REAL big baby hours right now. ]

[helluvamess]

[Oh fuck, now Fizz is crying?? WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS??

Except it's just... weirdly easy to hug him even tighter and rub his back and curl his tail around Fizz's to try and soothe him.]

Take a minute, it's ok. I'm here.

[twominutes]

[ he's had a stressful day!!! sorry, blitzø.

it's the tail curl that finally gets him to peter out into sniffling, burying his face in the side of blitzø's neck so he doesn't have to look at anything. ]

Sorry, ████. I'm okay. It's fine.

[ he has not let go, though. ]

[helluvamess]

[He is also not letting go and this is... nice? Really nice? Normally he doesn't let himself initiate this kind of contact easily, for all that he desperately craves it. Staying like this for a while is totally fine though, right?]

It's fine. It's a fucking lot getting here.

[twominutes]

[ yeah, it's really nice to be held and held in return, it's... odd to be like this with blitzø, especially after everything, but right now he doesn't care, he doesn't want to unpack anything, he just wants to be comforted. ]

I want to know why I'm different now. Also, if they were changing things about me, why they couldn't give me some ███████ real limbs. ████████.

[ now he's just bitching. his extendo-limbs are pretty cool even though they can't feel anything. ]

[helluvamess]

Maybe because you won't be here long?

[He's spitballing, but maybe it'll help reassure Fizz all the same.]

Sometimes people show up and then they get sent back faster than others. They said this whole thing's a fucking mistake so maybe you're on the top of the list and shit. Be back outta here in no time.

[twominutes]

No one knows who I am here but you, so I doubt I'm at the top of their list. Not that I'm complaining about not being bothered for once, ████.

[ but he slumps a little, the conversation somehow draining some of the tension out of him. he curls their tails together tighter before he speaks again. ]

Is anyone else we know here?

[helluvamess]

Who knows how these lists work. You could be top based on some fucked up decision tree or something.

[He does take in some of Fizz's appearance, reaching up to flick the halo.]

Gross. And I guess it depends on what you mean by know? I've seen a lot of fucking sinners and overlords mostly.

[twominutes]

[ fizz flaps a hand sulkily when blitzø flicks his halo, then sighs. ]

I know it's gross, but don't point it out. My color scheme is hideous, Blitzø. What am I supposed to do about this crap? [ but then: ] I meant know personally, but I guess that makes sense.

[helluvamess]

Personally? Nah. No one who stayed anyway. Just me I guess.

[Not great, but it is what it is?]

I mean, there's worse colour schemes? And maybe we can hang shit on the halo to make it look different.

[He's still technically holding Fizz, although it's more relaxed now and he nudges his shoulder with a finger.]

Besides, I've never seen you fail to pull off any outfit in your life.

[twominutes]

If I have to be trapped with anyone, I guess...

[ oh no that's too sappy, reel it in. he does finally put his feet back on the ground at least, even if he doesn't let go otherwise. see: the hug is now wrapped around blitzø twice. no escape. ]

I guess hanging things off it could work... [ then he pauses, snorting and nudging his shoulder back. ]

Hardly. You of all people have seen me being an absolute disaster.

[helluvamess]

[Oh fuck is he blushing? He's definitely blushing.]

No I mean... if I ever gave you shit I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.

[Where the fuck did that come from??]

[twominutes]

I—what?

[ where the fuck DID that come from? fizz looks confused, not drawing back from the hug but tipping his head back enough to look at blitzø's face, which... has a blush on it. oh. um. ]

... You don't need to baby me, Blitzø. When you gave me that kind of shit, you never meant it, and besides, we were ███████ fashion disasters together.

[helluvamess]

I'm not! I just... I feel like I always gave you shit and then 15 years happened and I never got to tell you a lot of shit I should have and now it feels like too much time has passed and there's shit unsaid and you're fucking amazing and deserve to be happy and I care about you and I just wanna say that and why am I fucking spilling my guts right now?!

[Satan's entire ass, someone shoot him right now.]

[twominutes]

... You told me I was good enough without Mammon.

[ quietly. very quietly. fizz hasn't had any of the pie, but he's very disoriented, very upset, and now blitzø is being so uncharacteristically open about shit that they really would have just left unsaid for the rest of their stupid lives.

he doesn't let go of blitzø or do anything super drastic, but he does lean in and nuzzle their foreheads together, eyes slipping closed. it's brief but open affection before he looks at him again. ]

I care about you too, dip████. [ a beat, and he runs his finger down the side of blitzø's face to collect a last remnant of pie they'd missed and sniff it. ] Hey, you think there's weird ████ in the pies?

[ surely that's the only reason all those words just came out of the other imp's mouth. ]

[helluvamess]

Cause you fucking are, dumbass. He was riding on your success for way too fucking long.

[What is Fizz-- Oh that's... actually also nice. He hasn't had a chance to just hug and hang out with Fizz in so fucking long, he'd forgotten the whole 'casual affection' thing.

Which honestly just feels like it adds more weight to the suggestion about the pies. Because even Blitzø knows that he'd usually have bailed or messed it up by now.]

Fucking probably. It's about the only thing that makes sense. I mean, I do mean what I said but... fuck, you know I'm usually shit at saying that kind of stuff, Fizz.

[twominutes]

You said it even before all of that, I mean. You believed in me the most of anyone.

[ with a one-shouldered shrug. he's just saying. but... ]

I know you mean it. I... ████, Blitzø, I don't even know what I'm trying to say here anymore. I know you're ████ at saying these things, but... I knew how to read it, before. When we were kids. And now I'm learning how again.

[ fizz may be one of the very few people blitzø can just fucking be himself around and be Understood.

a beat passes. ]

... I still like hearing it though, ███hole.

[ but it's lighter, with a smile, and he uses a hand to knock on the other imp's head lightly like 'hello, dummy, pay attention.' ]

Now that you got aaaaall sappy with me you're never going to get rid of me, sucker.

[helluvamess]

Hey! It's not my fucking fault, it's this pie or some other bullshit.

[And he is not tearing up, fuck everything about this place. He can't really blame the pie for the fact he buries his face into Fizz's neck and just hugs him tightly though.]

The fuck would I want to get rid of you for, I just got you back.

[twominutes]

Maybe I should save some for later... Which one was it?

[ but he's teasing. he really is, even when he wraps his arms tighter around blitzø twice apiece, and his tail around his waist for good measure. ]

I know! It's called positive reinforcement and reassurance.

[ said like fizz definitely has regulated emotions literally ever in his life. anyway he's teary-eyed too and a hand slides up to touch the other imp's nape gently. he wishes he could feel it, but that doesn't matter right now. ]

[helluvamess]

You're the one who fucking hit me with it, don't you know which one it was?

[It's... still muffled against Fizz's neck, shut up. And the hugging is just for the other imp's benefit, not because he's desperately wanted this for so long.

Eventually he is going to reluctantly pull away just enough to face Fizz though, because conversations against Fizz's neck are not super useful for either of them.]

Fuck, you're staying in Heaven, huh?

[twominutes]

I didn't look, I was pissed off! What did it taste like?

[ he's just... holding onto him for the duration of this, not wanting to let go. not now, not ever. which is asking a lot from blitzø, he knows. especially with all things considered. maybe he can let go once he's panicking less. that sounds good.

his brow furrows a little at the question though and he looks away, tail drooping to curl around his own legs. ]

... I don't belong in Heaven. We both know that.

[ it's not even a matter of talking himself down or anything, more they both know he'd be uncomfortable there. unfamiliar place, unfamiliar people, unfamiliar rules. no, he won't do well in heaven. ]