heckinooc | TDM 002 / MERMAY EVENT

TDM 002 / MERMAY EVENT

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A: Garden Level - CLEAN UP CREW
[WHUH OH YOU'VE DIED AND ENDED UP IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. A usually beautiful sight--this time it seems the water from heaven is spilling over! Watch your step or you might get a stream of ocean water cascading atop your head like a prop bucket.

The imps and cherubs are hard at work with a water pump tho!! They've got this, really. "Don't mind us, we're just--doing paperwork! Yep!! THAT'S ALL IT IS."

Reassuring. More alarming, you may have noticed that you've changed. Depending on your alignment, you may have more heavenly or hellish traits.............or just for May, you may have AQUATIC traits. That's not worrying!!

Well as some oldbies get teleported to the garden as well, maybe you can ask them some questions!!]

B: HECK-LING TIMES
[Now if you take the elevator down to Hell's Hotel, it's water free! However you may be IMMEDIATELY assaulted by some imps who try to jab you with a shiv. Standard hell greeting!! Maybe someone intervenes or maybe you can like, just punch them. The sheep imps ain't shit. The rest of the hotel is surprisingly nice though, and if you have a room assignment there, you'll find it honestly pretty accommodating.

BUT OUTSIDE? Oh buddy is it still flooded!! Some imps are working hard to pump the water out, but it has the added effect of creating whirlpools. Get sucked into one and not only will you be tossed and turned like laundry, but there's a chance a MEMORY will be tossed right out of you! This could be anything from forgetting your name, your bestie's face, where you live, whatever! Don't worry, the effect will wear off in a few hours, or until someone finds the memory and gives it back to you (in the form of floating seashells that will float near the whirlpools!)]

C: HEAVENLY SING-A-LONGS
[Take the elevator up, and you step in the luxurious Heavenly Hotel! And you may be IMMEDIATELY assaulted by sheep cherubs spritzing you with perfumes or colognes or dolling up your hair. They're here to serve!! Once you get rid of those pests though, feel free to explore the ludicrously divine amenities of the hotel.

OUTSIDE isn't nearly as flooded as Hell, though the local ocean has still expanded greatly, but instead there's a different problem...........there are crabs. And seagulls. And fish?? Singing. They're singing SO much.

You may find a chorus of sea critters at any point in Heaven abruptly bursting into a kiss-the-girl style musical, accidentally revealing a crush you might have, or a silly secret. Better hope passing angels and other residents aren't listening too hard! Of course you can just punt the annoying creatures away. Or eat them. That's an option too, sure. ]

OOC NOTES:
-All effects are optional and last as long as it's fun for you to play with them!
-TDM characters can have mermaid forms or not, up to you!
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open in June! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!
-Remember regardless of your alignment, you are free to travel to whatever level you wish!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, watch yer mouth, toots. [Angel is lounging nearby, all seven-foot-what-the-fuck of him, one leg crossed over the other, waving away one of the cherubs and snagging some kinda pineapple-shaped drink from a passing tray. He takes a loooong slurp.

Imp cock's the best hangover cure in any afterlife, yaknow. Tastes like a real nice greasy cheeseburger.

Ughhh. [Dee makes a grossed-out sound in the back of her throat and shoots the... too-many-limbed-what-the-fuck a haughty and disgusted look, scrunching her nose up. She's acting so obnoxious, acting like she's superior when the truth is that she's just as bad as everyone else. And in some cases, she's even worse.]

Gross. Give me a cheeseburger with a side of fries any day. Better than limp imp dick with a side of infernal gonorrhea.

[Angel keeps one set of arms folded behind his head, holding his drink with another free hand and using the last one to tug his sunglasses down enough to give her a once-over. Her comment makes him grin, though, all sharp teeth.]

No, no, no, imps are immune to gonorrhea. Herpes is whatcha gotta watch out for. That shit's like the common cold to 'em. Cannibals on the other hand got all kinds'a diseases, but they're also hot as fuck.

Not that it'll matter if ya only plan on bummin' around this swanky joint instead'a havin' any real fun. [He shrugs, pushing his sunglasses back into place.] Your call, Blondie.

[Oh, goddamn, those are some sharp, mean-looking teeth in his head. They look like they could tear into her with ease, and that thought alone makes her pale, makes her throat feel dry, makes her clench all four of her wings up.

Dee stares at him, perturbed, her pastel blue eyes wide with apprehension because he just said that cannibals are hot and why would anyone think cannibals are hot?!]

I'm having fun here! [Dee says a little too defensively. It also sounds like she doesn't believe her own words.]

And I refuse to go down there if that's what you're suggesting because your hot cannibal friends? Are going to see a pretty blonde angel like myself and they're going to want to eat me. That's assuming the other demons don't try murdering me first! I'll be a prime target down there!

[Angel knows it, and there's a smugass look on his smugass face when she recoils, all her wings fluffing up. Okay, yes, he's working on being a better person and whatever, but he can't resist having fun all the time, or he'll die of boredom.

So he nods seriously, propping his cheek on a hand as he rolls to his side to face her.] Ohhhh, yeah, you're probably right. They loooove angels. You guys're like chicken wings for 'em. The good kind, with the burn-your-face-off hot sauce on top. And you got four'a them, toots.

Besides, Heaven's waaaaay better. I mean, you can't have sex or you'll burn up immediately, but hey. Who needs sex, right? [He's actually not positive about that, but when it doubt, lean on Catholicism.]

[Dee's already naturally pale, but now she looks whiter than a ghost. She visibly shudders, and shakes her head like she's trying to shake away terrible, terrible thoughts. That all sounds about right. She already has a picture in her head of what it's like 'down there' with the demons. She assumes they're all monsters who would love to get a piece of her angelic ass (and not in the fun way), and she's... freaking out a little.

But she scoffs at the sex thing, narrows her eyes and glowers at the weird dude who is... honestly bringing up a good point. And Dee's been a little concerned about Heaven, ever since she learned about the current alcohol situation. Is she going to have to marry someone just to bang them? Because that'll be a problem for her.]

Oh, come on. That's so stupid! [Dee whines, before laughing nervously. She's trying so hard to play it cool, but she's... failing.] That's so stupid! No one's going to burst into flames for having sex.

[Angel's grin never falters, which makes it a little tricky to tell whether he's fucking wtih her or not -- which is entirely by design. He slurps at the drink, grabbing the wedge of pineapple off the rim and tossing it whole into his mouth.]

Yeah, well, you're talkin' about the place invented by the guy who told everyone to not lie, not steal, not stab anyone and not ever have any fuckin' fun, ever. Stands ta reason that "don't bang anyone" is up there as a big no-no.

[Dee hates that she can’t tell, but she feels like she should take him seriously, especially in regards to the “divine chicken wings” thing.

She deflates, slumping her shoulders as she throws her hands up in the air.]

Goddamnit. [She sighs, visibly panicking .] I’m going to have to go down there… I’m going to have to get some red body paint and some… cones.

[Deandra, please, you’re not disguising yourself as a demon]

And a pitchfork. [Angel swallows the mouthful of pineapple, sighs contentedly, settles back in his seat.] They'll kick ya out if'n you don't got one'a those.

Also better learn all the lingo. Hell-lingo's the number one way to tell if'n someone's a horny undercover angel.

Goddamnit. That's too much effort. I-I could do it, but there's so much to do and...

[She huffs sharply through her nose, slumps her shoulders forward and lets both arms fall loosely to her side.]

I just want a goddamn beer. One. Goddamn. Beer.

Weeee-eeeelll, I could be persuaded into guidin' ya safely through the Fiery Pits of Hell...

[Angel drawls it slowly, stretching out on his stomach, then flashing that grin again.] For a price, a'course.

Oh my God.

[Her words come out breathy and exasperated, and she looks at the ground, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before returning her attention to Angel. Why is this all so stressful?

She sets her hands on her hips, her mouth forming a thin, agitated line.]

Fine. [She snaps, gruff and grumpy.] What do you want? Coffee? Perfume? Angel feathers? I mean, I can hold 'em down while you pluck them.

[Angel beams, swiveling his (long, weird, creepy) spider body back upright and crossing one booted leg over the other.] Knew you'd come around, toots~

Get me some'a the good Heaven leave-in conditioner, two dozen lipsticks, then a half-pound'a coffee for every six-pack I getcha. Capiche?

[She narrows her eyes and tilts her head slightly, thinking about it. Thiiiinking about iiiiit... Then she throws her hands in the air.]

Okay. Fine. Deal. [She thrusts her index finger at him, accusingly.]

But. Don't. Screw me. Okay?!

[Another of those toothy grins, as Angel moves her hand aside with one of his own.] I'm fuckin' offended at the very thought. I would never~

Angel Dust. Pleased to be doin' business with ya, Feathers.

Your name is Angel Du...

[Sounding exhausted, she cuts herself off, huffs and then rolls her eyes.]

My God. Of course it is.

[Then she's back to standing with her hands on her hips, all four of her wings relaxing a little.]

I'm Dee.

Just Angel's good, toots. [He plops back onto the lounge chair, snapping his fingers insistently until one of the weird little cherub guys flies over.]

Your folks only give ya a letter? Cheap bastards. [The cherub produces another fruity, flourescent pink drink, which Angel takes a long, luxurious sip of.] Pleased to be doin' business with ya, Dee.

[Yet another cherub floats by, carrying cute, pastel purple cups of fruit punch on a glittering golden tray. Dee snatches one up, earning herself an unimpressed look from the tiny angel, but Dee either doesn't notice, or doesn't care.

It's likely the latter.

She holds the cup up like she's giving a toast, brightening a little.]

Likewise, Angel! I think we might make a great team! [Then she tilts her head back and downs the entire cup in one hit. The punch is so sweet that she immediately regrets doing this, and shakes her head violently once she's swallowed it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

TDM 002 / MERMAY EVENT

sing-a-longs

<3!

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CW: mild cannibalism mention

cw: cannibalism all the way down

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