TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

2/2 i need more icons for this lhdskjfsds

[cockadoodledome]

... Babe.

Why are your bells coming outta your mouth...?

[Hold on, he's. Looking at the rest. And maybe holding on a little tighter because UH...]

And - You've ... got a thing? [It's a halo, Oz, you can say the word.] What happened?

Gardens

[supersaver]

[Oh, hm...that's a very large, um. Hm. Ochako's really not sure, and doesn't want to assume - there are so many bizarre and colorful types here - but he sure does look a little like a chicken. Maybe a phoenix? Because of the fire?? She hums a little thoughtfully as she nibbles on a bite of some strawberry rhubarb pie from across the table. He must be new...oh dear. Should she tell him? It's only polite, and those cute but very irresponsible (a-and kind of useless...) sheep will probably make matters so much worse.]

Um...e-excuse me? Sir?

[The young teen with some bunny appendages pipes up at last. She's not in her Hero costume obviousl, actually having donned a much cuter and vintage fit herself, but she still looks a little sheepish, and intimidated by the big man. She saw what you did to the poor tablecloth, Ozzie. :|]

lmaoooo the struggle

[twominutes]

[ there is SNUGGLING and CLINGING and CRYING and FACE NUZZLING happening. a lot of it actually.

he's too busy being overwhelmed to answer at first but then, with a lot of sniffling, he takes a deep breath. ]

Okay so when I got here they said it was a clerical error right, and I got this eyeball and this halo and these wings and all that bull■■■■ right, but I spend all my time in Hell anyway because Heaven SUCKS and I've been here for weeks but Blitzø's been looking out for me and on top of all that—

[ it's all that one breath. then he WAILS: ]

I'M CEN-HEN-SOOOOOORED.

Garden

[darkweb]

[This undignified display looks... familiar. Not the person who's fallen down. But the hallmarks of a poor, innocent non-humanoid who has never had legs, being forced to face the torment of the appendages. He may not have experienced it directly (yet), but he has seen others fall victim.

With this suspicion in mind, he offers a hand with extra sympathy. Even though the hand is small, and floating unattached to any muscles, Paracelsus may find that it's able to support his weight regardless.]

New arrival...?

text 3

[charmdefensive]

I would have put myself here on purpose if I knew how hot everyone here was beforehand lmao! 😘

But if you're talking about people who have grudges against me who would want to exile me to another plane of existence, I ALSO have more of those than I can count.

If you're in the same boat then hey at least it means you must be interesting 🥰🥰

Garden

[charmdefensive]

[Kiruko might have been staring at the pies, but as she turns to face Katriina, it may become clear that Katriina was staring at Kiruko's chest.]

Aww, c'mon, you just have to balance it out with a little exercise. I'm sure you can think of some ways that are overflowing with womanly power!

Hell

[charmdefensive]

[Katriina isn't gambling, but she's lurking around the gambling tables, because they tend to have interesting people sitting there. Like this one. Is she reckless, or does she have a reason to be confident? Either way, she has Katriina's support, at least outwardly:]

Ooohhh, you're going to be rich when you pull this off! Oh wow~! You can do it!

[behemoth_betrayed]

I don't dislike it per-say. I dislike that I can't leave. This reality is making me a lot smaller and less powerful than I am, and to be honest it's kind of a bummer. You're right though, the people here are ...appealing. At least the company could be worse.

Did any of those people with grudges actually have the power to send you here, though? Or alter reality in general?

I've been called a lot of things, but never ever boring.

Garden

[darkweb]

[Hey, this guy looks really really similar to the description that Fizzarolli gave when he was looking for someone,

Taranza tilts his head, peering up at the person grumpily sitting there. He doesn't address the potential connection for now. There are more immediate matters.]

Oh, you're one hundred percent for sure going to be here for multiple months, not less than a day.

[charmdefensive]

most of them probably not, but some of them maybe? Might have the power to do something, I mean.

There's a whole mystery culprit going around whose plans I'm technically foiling and they seem to be capable of some very high level magic.

I totally understand what you mean about being depowered though!!! OMG I thought it was just me 😭😭😭 bummer is sooooo right

[behemoth_betrayed]

Maybe isn't definitive, but it's something.

Because I can say, for certain, that I know someone who could have easily sent me here. She could have created this entire realm for all I know. I just don't know if she would. Did. Or if she only sent me here. Or... if she knows I'm stuck here at all. It's concerning.

New realities do happen, it's not uncommon for immortal things. But I've never been so little of me. What has changed about you since you arrived?

[charmdefensive]

for some reason the spells I'm best at don't work AT ALL! Or at least they're weak enough that it's barely worth it. I still have the reserves to be able to cast things but they just don't have the same effect!

Tell your frenemy that may or may not have created this realm, that I put years of work into being this talented, and make an exception for me! I'm a humble mortal genius!

[behemoth_betrayed]

Hmmm. Do you have some kind of enchanted band stuck on your body somewhere as well? I'm beginning to wonder if our magic is being syphoned off of us.

I'm not sure I can tell her anything right now. I can't sense her at all. And if she can sense me, she's... what's that mortal phrase? 'Leaving me on Red'?

I've only ever witnessed her tweaking reality for the good of her friends. I think she might still be very mad at me

[safecage]

I had one of each! They were all on the same level of tasty.

[safecage]

[ The dealer draws a card and puts it on the table, it's still lower then the needed 21 for blackjack. But Aqua ends up getting the right card to hit exactly 21. ]

Of course I won, I'm super lucky ! ~

[charmdefensive]

[Oohhh, it worked out. She applauds the victory.]

Congrats! What are you going to do with your winnings? Maybe you can buy me a drink!

[charmdefensive]

oh yeah I have the enchanted band thing. It's not taking all of my energy though. It's just locking some spells in particular. Surprised no one did this to me earlier tbh, but it seems pretty complicated to set up.

From my humble mortal POV of course. Are you seriously like a god?

Anyway how do we apologize to this person who's mad at you, because you're bringing me around to the idea that maybe she has something to do with it

[behemoth_betrayed]

It's a magic I've never seen before, and it is... effective, unfortunately. I'd be impressed if I wasn't so inconvenienced.

God would be an understatement, I think. Gods exist inside the universes inhabited by the mortals who dreamed them into existence, in most cases. I exist without a reality to constrain me.

She definitely could have. She's powerful enough, that's for sure. And I have seen her create whole universes before.

I had thought that this time we reached a fairly agreeable bargain, too. Maybe I was wrong.

[cutepolicewoman]

[Kiruko, oblivious as hell, does not notice being ogled at all! And she probably won’t notice unless Katriina makes a point to keep doing so while they are talking.]

Ways to work out… that are full of womanly power? [She seems intrigued, tapping her chin.] Would that be … something cute and delicate like yoga, maybe?

lucifer morningstar. hazbin hotel. heaven. yeah you read that right.

[applesolutely]

may i offer u pie

Huh. A clerical error. You don't say!

[ lucifer is staring up at the little sheep, hands on his hips. there's a snakelike look to him, calculating, and he tilts his head juuust a little.

then he grins and shrugs. ]

Well! Free vacation! I haven't been here in a long time.

[ hm! someone is putting shit in the bottle! this is definitely fine. it's so fine that he goes and sits right at the table, grabbing a piece of pie and propping his feet up on the edge as he digs in. it's anyone's guess what kind of pie it is, though!

at some point, he leans over and whispers conspiratorially. ]

You get a load of this? I thought my clerical work was bad, but this takes the cake! [ a HUGE bite of pie happens. ] Or pie, I guess. I'll grant them that.

[ he has not, as it seems, noticed that there is a halo floating above his hat. nor has he noticed that his eyes are blue! weird, huh? but hey, maybe you don't know that those are red flags. ]

let's get ready to rumble

[ now THIS is more like it! or, well, what he's more familiar with these days! he picks his way around the fights, not really feeling like engaging himself, and it's a little weird that no one seems to recognize him, but he doesn't mind being left alone.

he does have to pause though, leaning over and stroking his chin in interest as he watches some random sinner that just got sliced into ribbons knit themselves back together on the ground and then sit up with a loud gasp.

lucifer jumps back— ]

Woah, haha! Neat. Self-reviving Sinners, that's a new one!

[ he still has not noticed the halo or eyes thing. almost like he's blanking it out! ]

march comes in like...

[ lucifer doesn't want to be here. sure, he's smiling razor-sharp and chatting and laughing and all that, but BOY is he uncomfortable! he hasn't been in heaven since the fall and he never wanted to go back, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

there's no coffee in hell.

which is why lucifer, in his white-gold-(blue?) outfit, top hat, (at least the apple and snake are still there!), halo, and bright blue eyes, is stepping out of a heavenbucks with some horrifying looking frappe monstrosity and sucking it down like his life depends on it. ]

Hah! Can you believe this coffee sucks more than what there usually is in Hell?

[ it doesn't. it's really good coffee. he fucking hates that. ]

text. un: bigbaddad. im workshopping that one let me live

[applesolutely]

Oz!
You're here too?
My portals aren't working either.
The whole elevator thing's pretty wild though, huh?
And here we've been told all this time it's a one-way trip! Hah!

[cockadoodledome]

[Okay there, there. He is NOT letting go any time soon. Somebody's been screwing with his Fizz here? Giving him - another eyeball? What the actual fuck. And the halo? And the-]

They sent you to Heaven? [That's generally what a halo means, big guy.] But that's not...

[At least his On Again Off Again friend is here. That's something. Someone was also looking out for him. He'll have to thank the weird little assassin guy, at some point.]

Okay, I know. Censoring you's a real drag, but, Fizz. Heaven? Seriously?

[cockadoodledome]

[What... is he looking at here? She's not really something he's seen before, but oh well, all types, etc etc. And he's not the kind to intimidate someone who's not being a jackass first. Weird look or no.]

[Cute outfit though.]

Hm? [There's a raised eyebrow, and a little swagger as he turns to her. Sorry, Ochako, he doesn't really turn off the whole Sin Of Lust. The big angry fireball hairdo flickers down to something much more normal.] Oh, haha- so sorry about that.

Got a little testy there, didn't I?

[twominutes]

They did, which makes no sense and I hate it. They didn't even fix any of the broken parts, just gave me ■■■■ I never asked for!

[ he has calmed somewhat at least, leaning into oz's chest like this. he shrugs weakly, pretending he didn't just say all that stuff, and peeks up at him. ]

Since we can all go back and forth, I just spend all my time in Hell anyway. Everybody's so stuck up in Heaven. It's not home.

[cockadoodledome]

[He's started drumming his fingers on the tabletop, like that's going to somehow make the time go faster. It's not. But it's not like he can get his assistants and staff to help! They're not here.]

[But - oh. Oh what is that.]

[That's cute.]

Months? I don't have that kinda time!

[... to be away from his Ring and home and boyfriend.]