TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

Asmodeous | Helluva Boss | Hell probs lmao

[cockadoodledome]

🐔 GARDEN ENTRY
[The @$%# is this.]

[If it's a joke, it's a shit one. "You died" - haha, good one. This is not his beautiful penthouse, this is not his adorable phone. And he really, really does not appreciate a sticker on his suit. Ugh, that ruins the lines. Trying to pick it off is useless, and he may... very well have growled at the weird-looking imp (??) that slapped it on him. Just a little. Nothing even caught fire. It's fine.]

[Okay the tablecloth is a little singed. It's fine!!]

[He moves his tea cup onto the singe mark, crosses his legs, and sits, like this is some boring meeting he's attending, instead of a "clerical error". Because it's ridiculous! He can't die. That's not how this shit works!]

C'mon now. I don't got all day...

🐂 HELL BRAWL
[Stepping out of an elevator and getting a vase chucked in his general direction is... new. His head jerks to one side, out of reflex, and the vase passes relatively harmlessly through the flames surrounding his head. It comes out a bit more. Blackened. Than it was originally, but hey. Not his fault.]

[He'd had to shrink himself down quite a bit to fit in the elevator, but now, surrounded by the fighting clusters, the Sin just kind of stretches. Every step he's a little taller, passing over the people. Residents.]

[... Please avoid those stellar boots of his, he's making for whatever passes for a front desk, and not much in the mood to look out below.]

🐏text; un: 🍆ozzie🍆
alright this was cute but im done
anybody got the exit??? or wanna tell me why my portals broken
???
gettin real annoyed here!! 👿👿👿👿



((ooc: I am still kind of practicing with this guy so my apologies for slowness!!))

garden!!!!!! WAAAAAAAA

[twominutes]

[ fizz is in the garden again, as he often is, looking for asmodeus. sure, sure, he has a life, he's doing okay, he's even (maybe) going to open a coffee shop in hell because there's no coffee in hell and—

—he hears a familiar voice grumbling and his head perks up like a dog scenting prey. is that... ]

OZZIE??????

[ hope asmodeus is ready, because in approximately 0.2 seconds, a particular angel is slamming right into him and wrapping long extendo-arms around him twice apiece, already a single breath away from sobbing with all three eyes. ]

Ozzie!!!!! It ████ing sucks here, I missed you so much, look what stupid ████ they put me in! It's not even kinky ████ unless you're into ███████ █████ ███ and ████!!!!!

[ yeah, all those censors? sound like the jingling of his normal jester bells. ]

1/2

[cockadoodledome]

[Have you ever seen a giant rooster demon creature go from pissy and bored to simp in record time? Because anyone else in the garden is going to. There's one syllable out of that particular angel's mouth and he's on his feet, already braced to catch the oncoming leap...]

FIZZIE!!!

[Did he just spin around? He sure did. This just made his day like. A thousand times better. Immediately. Weird garden? Clerical error? Stuck in some weird ass place? Nah, not important in the moment. Gross snuggling and spinning has to happen first. Ugh.]

I know! They said it's some kinda office mess up? What -

[But after a moment, the changes are going to sink in, and, regretfully, he's got to pull back just enough to actually look at Fizz better.]

[You know, and the whole. Jingle bell censorship-]

2/2 i need more icons for this lhdskjfsds

[cockadoodledome]

... Babe.

Why are your bells coming outta your mouth...?

[Hold on, he's. Looking at the rest. And maybe holding on a little tighter because UH...]

And - You've ... got a thing? [It's a halo, Oz, you can say the word.] What happened?

lmaoooo the struggle

[twominutes]

[ there is SNUGGLING and CLINGING and CRYING and FACE NUZZLING happening. a lot of it actually.

he's too busy being overwhelmed to answer at first but then, with a lot of sniffling, he takes a deep breath. ]

Okay so when I got here they said it was a clerical error right, and I got this eyeball and this halo and these wings and all that bull■■■■ right, but I spend all my time in Hell anyway because Heaven SUCKS and I've been here for weeks but Blitzø's been looking out for me and on top of all that—

[ it's all that one breath. then he WAILS: ]

I'M CEN-HEN-SOOOOOORED.

Gardens

[supersaver]

[Oh, hm...that's a very large, um. Hm. Ochako's really not sure, and doesn't want to assume - there are so many bizarre and colorful types here - but he sure does look a little like a chicken. Maybe a phoenix? Because of the fire?? She hums a little thoughtfully as she nibbles on a bite of some strawberry rhubarb pie from across the table. He must be new...oh dear. Should she tell him? It's only polite, and those cute but very irresponsible (a-and kind of useless...) sheep will probably make matters so much worse.]

Um...e-excuse me? Sir?

[The young teen with some bunny appendages pipes up at last. She's not in her Hero costume obviousl, actually having donned a much cuter and vintage fit herself, but she still looks a little sheepish, and intimidated by the big man. She saw what you did to the poor tablecloth, Ozzie. :|]

[cockadoodledome]

[What... is he looking at here? She's not really something he's seen before, but oh well, all types, etc etc. And he's not the kind to intimidate someone who's not being a jackass first. Weird look or no.]

[Cute outfit though.]

Hm? [There's a raised eyebrow, and a little swagger as he turns to her. Sorry, Ochako, he doesn't really turn off the whole Sin Of Lust. The big angry fireball hairdo flickers down to something much more normal.] Oh, haha- so sorry about that.

Got a little testy there, didn't I?

[supersaver]

[He's looking at an angel bunny, though way less pretentious and stuck up than the other angels in Heaven. In fact, Ochako here is probably one of the nicer Heaven-bound people brought here, or at least the most polite. She's almost not judging his appearance - there are almost definitely people similar to his body shape back home - but Ozzie here is definitely...uh. Well. He's *~*one of a kind*~* for sure.

And hey, she's just happy he's calmed down enough to talk. That makes things a little easier.]

Mm, it's understandable to be upset. The situation is really, really stupid. [She holds the teapot up, offering to refill his cup if he wants.] I don't know how much those little sheep things explained, but I doubt it was much at all. They're kind of, um...i-incompetent...

Garden

[darkweb]

[Hey, this guy looks really really similar to the description that Fizzarolli gave when he was looking for someone,

Taranza tilts his head, peering up at the person grumpily sitting there. He doesn't address the potential connection for now. There are more immediate matters.]

Oh, you're one hundred percent for sure going to be here for multiple months, not less than a day.

[cockadoodledome]

[He's started drumming his fingers on the tabletop, like that's going to somehow make the time go faster. It's not. But it's not like he can get his assistants and staff to help! They're not here.]

[But - oh. Oh what is that.]

[That's cute.]

Months? I don't have that kinda time!

[... to be away from his Ring and home and boyfriend.]

[darkweb]

Nobody does! They don't care! I submitted a complaint, and no one even got back to me to tell me they're working on it. Submit one yourself all you like! I'm hoping as much as anyone that it'll actually work one day.

[Slowly he drifts upwards, to be in more comfortable conversational range with this much-taller-than-average person.]

text. un: bigbaddad. im workshopping that one let me live

[applesolutely]

Oz!
You're here too?
My portals aren't working either.
The whole elevator thing's pretty wild though, huh?
And here we've been told all this time it's a one-way trip! Hah!

it's beautiful

[cockadoodledome]

Lucifer!
so good to read you!!! how you been???

ok but really
what is this?? this aint our hell
did they tell you anything else?? cause uknow youre you and all

thank u uwu

[applesolutely]

Good, good! Helping with Charlie's pet project, keeping busy.
How have things been in Lust?

If I'm honest, I have no idea!
They didn't tell me anything special.
Didn't even know who I was.
Isn't that a gas? They don't know who I am!

Hell (in lust we trust, big guy)

[succinainteasy]

Hey, watch it, asshole!

[ While she was rounding on him with an annoyed glance, it immediately disappears when she figures out who it is. Lifting her sunglasses, she flashes him a smile before gesturing around them idly. ]

Is it too late to take that back? Took you long enough to get here, Fizz is going to lose his shit when he sees you. If you're gonna lodge a complaint with management, I'll save you some time and tell you not to bother. The clerical bullshit trickles down from the top.

Welcome to bargain brand Hell.

[cockadoodledome]

[In answer to said comment, Oz just raises an eyebrow. One hand on his hip. It's impossible not to recognize her, of course. He makes a habit of knowing his people.]

Given the circumstances, Verosika... [He's just going to gesture around.] You're forgiven. [Like he'd do anything else.]

[Especially since, you know, she just said the magic word--] Fizz? He's here? [Oz you sound like a lost puppy holy crap.]

[succinainteasy]

[ This is as sheepish as Verosika Mayday will ever look, someone should take a picture. Not that she expected to get reamed for her slip of the tongue, that’s just the type of guy Ozzie is.

At his reaction to Fizz being here, she laughs and props the shades up on top of her head make her. ]

Remind me again how no one knew you guys were dating.

[ Folding her arms, she raises an eyebrow and glances up at him. Worst kept secret in Hell! She always knew “partners” was a euphemism. ]

Would I lie? I think we got here at the same time. Stolas is here too, so is Blitzø and part of his fan club. [ Screw you, Moxxie, you don’t even get namedropped. Forever relegated to being a groupie. ] The Pride Ring is all the rage though, you can’t take two steps without stepping on someone from it.

Hell’s Princess wasn’t what I expected. [ She will never admit that she likes her, not even the big Oz himself can. ]

Brawl

[helluvamess]

Oh fuuuuck-!

[The voice is probably familiar and if it's not, then there's a good chance that the figure himself is, especially as he's hurtling towards Asmodeus as approximately chest height having been flung through the air by a more powerful than expected demon.]

I am sorry

[cockadoodledome]

[Blitzø is in luck. Because you don't date Fizz without being used to things hurtling at you out of relatively nowhere. Or blowing air horns in your face at 8am, but that's another thing entirely.]

[Oz catches him like a football, purely out of reflex and nothing else.]

[And then stares at Blitzø. Processing... this is not what he thought.]

Blitzø.

[And drops him.]

[... at least it's not as bad as getting chucked through the entire lobby? Sorry, Blitzø. Really. No hard feelings.] Fancy meetin' you here.

[helluvamess]

[There's a moment where they stare at each other and Blitzø opens his mouth... only to yell as he plummets down to the ground again.]

Christ on a stick, what was that for?!

text: un. angiefuzzyboots

[addickted]

oh fuck it's a party now
you just get in?
find fizz yet?
hear the whole jingle bullshit?
congrats on that, btw

[cockadoodledome]

uhhhh sorry i know you??
youre one of fizzie's pals?

because YES
it is ADORABLE like the rest of him!! 😍😍😍😍😍
but he says it pisses him off so i never said that

[So sorry Angel, he might not recognize your username, but ANY excuse to tell people how great Fizz is?? Yes, he'll take it.]

[addickted]

nahhhhh
i mean not at home but
here i guess? he's chill.
you're his big cock bf arencha?

that's
really cute wtf
okay
anyways
glad ya found each other
mazel tov

➥ Hell HOPE THIS WORKS ..

[nestingdevil]

Yeah, I get it. Got your hands a little full today, don't ya?

[After having taken a look-see at the brawl going on, the Sin's all coiled up at the front desk. With one of his elbows planted on the counter and another wrapped around his hip, he flaunts a third out at his side; his wrist spinning 'round, 'round, 'round to illustrate his point. The poor creature working it seems to be trying to apologize and the former homunculus shakes his head.] N'aw, I told you. Don't worry about it. Kinda of used to things like this -

[As if to make his point, he quickly jerks his hand away as another glass goes sailing by to smash into shards against the pillar next to him. Greed slumps his shoulders.] Like I said, looks like you got bigger problems here, friend. Take your time, huh? Just figured I'd let you know about it.

[The Sin lazily drops his other hands where he can fit them (one at his opposite hip, two more in the narrow part of his waist) and turns. This Afterlife brings all sorts, so he shouldn't be surprised when he sees another giant coming his way (what's with people being so tall anyway?), and he pauses. The fire is what catches his eye at first; the color of it, so blue, so bright, it'd be hard to miss.]

[Greed's mouth puckers and he sidesteps out of the way; his movement lax, yet intrigued.] Huh, haven't seen you around before. You new?

[Something about the way the demon looks: didn't someone say something before? Three heads - the Sin's eyebrows slowly slide up his forehead, as if a thought's clicking into place. Wasn't it Fizzarolli who said something about a Lust where he's from?]

[Ah, well. It could be anyone, really.]

[cockadoodledome]

[Now that's an interesting sight. He's got to admit. It's enough to give the big man pause, some of the flames dancing around his head dim down to normal. Distracted from the overwhelming surge of irritation by giving the stranger his own once-over. That's... a lot of hands. Interesting.]

[In a good way.]

[Look, he's the king of Lust, some things he doesn't turn off. Pun fully intended. Though looking again, the dollar signs plastered all over the guy's collar - ruff? - raise an unfortunate mental image in his head.]

[Oh the other hand.]

You could say that. [He settles his hands on his hips, thoughtfully.] Let me guess. Greed, I assume?