TDM 001!!

[heckinmods]

[ SEE GAME NAVIGATION TO READ UP ON HECK GAME BEFORE PLAYING IF YOU SO DESIRE ]

A) MAY I OFFER U PIE IN THIS TRYING TIME(GARDEN LEVEL)
[OOPS YOU DIED. WELCOME TO THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL. If you're new here, have a sheep cherub or imp slap a "HI MY NAME IS--" sticker on you, and frantically explain "DON'T WORRY, WE'RE WORKING ON IT, WE'LL HAVE YOU OUT HERE....AT...SOME POINT..." Wack. Also, you may noticed that your body may or may not have changed. What's up with that??? Who cares, at least you have as spiffy new cell phone! You're also told you're free to take the elevators up to Heaven or down to Hell. Good luck!

In the mean time--join the garden party that's going on! Or at least, it seems like a party?? Except all they are serving is pie. Apple pie. Blueberry pie. The classics. For you more Carnivorous types, there's stuff like mince pie, and...the name is smudged, but maybe don't eat that one unless you're a cannibal.

But along with a variety of normal pies, if you accidentally eat a weird pie, your character might experience the following:
Vinegar Pie - It's tasty but suddenly you're compelled to blurt out an Insult or ruthlessly tease the next person you see.
"Sweet" Potato - If you're a normally grumpy or aggro character, this pie will suddenly make you want to be more affectionate! This can be anything from wanting to hold hands or saying genuine nice things.
Humble Pie - Suddenly you feel complimenting or praising others and might downplay your own achievements, or insult yourself.

You can probably shake off the effects, but hey. Free pie!! ]


B) LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE (HELL LEVEL)
[TIME TO EXPLORE. Today in the Hell Level, the Hotel (Ho-hell? Helll-tel? Okay just Hotel) it's time for spring cleaning! Wait, didn't they just have that? An Imp says yes, but this is a different type of cleaning. Time to TAKE OUT THE TRASH!!!!

Which is to say, out of no where you might receive a PUNCH in the face by a local, or an imp! If the latter it's like being bapped by a sick little lamb. Still, even if a local punches you, you suddenly heal immediately? That's right, TODAY ONLY, this is a 'get into a scrap injury free' spring holiday, and you can rough house as much as you want with each other today in the Hotel, and NO DAMAGE will remain! Ever wanted to get cut in half and suddenly stitch back together? WELL TODAY'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.

If you're not into PG rated guro however, why don't you try exploring:
-The clubs! The nightlife in hell is FANTASTIC and genuinely fun!
-Games! Along with casinos galore, there are also normal arcades! Any game you can imagine, it exists.
-Or explore parts of Hell's Hotel that don't involve getting into a dogpile! ]


C) MARCH COMES IN LIKE....(HEAVEN LEVEL)
[TODAY IN HEAVEN THOUGH, there are advertisements for the ZOO!! A zoo in heaven?? Fuck yea!! But when you get there you see nothing but...........lions. And lambs. Just, everywhere. They aren't fighting though, but being super cute and soft and have tiny wings. You can pet them and pick them up--well the lambs at least. The lion might crush you. But you're dead anyway so give it a shot champ!!

Local angels explain that every 'spring' the zoo does this, and it's a sign of good fortune! You might wonder why you need good fortune in Heaven, but fuck it, when it Rome!! If you stick around long enough the zoo will change back to 'normal' and you can find other animals to gawk at.

If zoos aren't your thing though, check out heaven's:
-BEACH!! How is there an ocean and sandy white beach in the sky! Who cares, it's heaven! Beach episode time!
-Coffee shops! There are no coffee shops in hell! LIVE YOUR COFFEE AU DREAMS.
-Or just explore the Heavenly hotel in general!]

D) WILDCARD
[DO WHATEVER ELSE or send text messages on your phone!! ]


OOC NOTES:
-This TDM is open to all! For now, you do NOT need to join the comm to play in it!
-Post questions for the mods here
-Remember, playing in the TDM does NOT guarantee your entry or app being accepted into the game proper later down the line!
-Apps open next Sunday! Be sure to read the rules linked there and check the current taken list!
-For current players: TDMs count as game canon AND threads may be used for AC if you wish!

Comments

➥ Hell

[nestingdevil]

[Just because he has his own place, it doesn't mean he can't wander. And if nothing else, Hell has a bar scene with variety. A variety of things to see, people to meet, and fresh faces to rub elbows with, if only to get them asking for a little bit more.]

[Which is why he's barside at this particular place, a glass of ice-topped scotch trapped between his cage of claws. It takes a specific kind of crowd to frequent a place like this. They're the wild kind: those that throw caution to the wind, that lose themselves in body after body until the whole world spins. Greed presses a smile to the lip of his drink as he takes a healthy swig, feeling the soft, familiar burn of a good liquor that's seen a year or few.]

[But then, the seat next him is moving, and the Sin slowly lowers his glass back onto the counter. The tattoo isn't the first thing he notices, oh no. It's that one line - that one, so-sure line, and doesn't it call to his core like a strummed string?]

[Greed swipes his thumb along the lip of his glass.] I always see something I like, lovely. [The curdle to his voice is as thick as honeyed tar.] But that wasn't what you were asking, is it? [His sunglasses play back the bar in dark reflections - the lights from the dance floor, the blush of color rising up from the liquor display, all mirrored in black, black, black. Greed slides his nail up his glass to catch a bead of sweat.]

hell

[darkweb]

[Taranza is also Heaven-bound, also down here looking to see if someone is here, just in case. So he has his own not-from-around-here vibe that the locals are making obvious in their reactions to him, even if the only angelic trait he has are some silvery-white feathers on the top of his head.

He tilts that head, considering the description of Asmodeus very seriously. It's not an unheard-of description of someone, from his perspective, but he can't place it. This guy sounds like he probably looks really cool...]

Mmm, no, I don't think I've seen anyone like that, sorry. ... I don't suppose you've seen someone who looks like a wasp, a little larger than you?

[Spoilers, she's not here. But he has to at least ask.]

D

[darkweb]

i mean my thought is that portals seem more like a magic thing than a science thing

or at least magitech depending

but i am not a science minded individual

[grumpface]

[To be fair, Husk wanted to say 'ass' that last time. Husk huffs a little.]

Their best, as of right now, ain't worth s♣♦♥ to me.

[nestingdevil]

[Curiously, Greed watches with a bit of comical awe as the angel just. Lifts his hand above his head, plucks the halo down, and pockets it like a ornament.] Huh? Ha - ! [A billowing laugh slips out from between his teeth, making it whistle along their sharp points.] Now, that is a neat trick! Didn't think you could do that.

[The former homunculus slouches forward to try to inspect the handy work.] But there's really no such thing as no such thing. I shouldn't be so surprised.

[Ah, and BJ's asking the right questions, isn't he? Greed shifts his weight back onto his heels to balance on their sharper, square-cut edges.] Depends on what you think's fun. This place - [He thumbs behind him with one of his four arms.] - it isn't a bad one to start with. But if you can wait it out a while, I've got a place opening up soon. [He shifts forward again to slap his boots atop the concrete.]

But first thing's first - what is it you're looking for?

Re: Hell

[grumpface]

[Sad for you, imp, that Husk considers all of that a tell. As in that tells him you're going to be absolutely slaughtered during this game of poker.

Husk covertly looks at his own cards, mulling over what to do in his head before he makes a low/conservative bet, setting down a couple chips into the pot.]

[helluvamess]

Trust... [Look, Blitzø is just an imp, he hasn't got much of a defence against anything and he feels almost instinctively inclined to trust Vox for some reason. Which is a lot since he doesn't trust many people. However there is just one thing he needs to confirm...]

Wait, wait. This TV show you're going to put on... are there horses on it?

[helluvamess]

Hah! Fucking academia. You'll probably have nothing to show for it anyway unless you're willing to bury that face right up some old professor's ass, sweetheart.

At least here you can have a little fun first.

[helluvamess]

[Satan's ass, the whole motion is just like the weirdest cherub he's ever fucking seen.]

Not that, so don't get your fucking hopes up.

[He thinks for a second.]

Do any other voice at all while you're here and I'll let you in.

[twominutes]

Maybe I should save some for later... Which one was it?

[ but he's teasing. he really is, even when he wraps his arms tighter around blitzø twice apiece, and his tail around his waist for good measure. ]

I know! It's called positive reinforcement and reassurance.

[ said like fizz definitely has regulated emotions literally ever in his life. anyway he's teary-eyed too and a hand slides up to touch the other imp's nape gently. he wishes he could feel it, but that doesn't matter right now. ]

[twominutes]

Okay, so, I don't know if this weird Hell matches, but—oh hey, I can say Hell—but back home, ye olde angels flap on down from up high to murder as many Sinners as possible. To combat "overcrowding." [ yes, he makes air quotes. ]

It's as ██████ as it sounds. Imps like me aren't really affected because we're Hellborn and part of the contract that was made, but... It still ███████ sucks!

[twominutes]

Ouch, yeah, what ███holes.

[ but he considers the claim and nods, briefly looking uncomfortable. ]

It really doesn't seem that there's any of the, you know... The real big-wigs. That make sure everything doesn't go to absolute ████ worse than normal.

[bugbeverage]

[ Miraculously, BJ keeps his trap shut while his new friend explains. ]

So we're both from different Hells...and this is a third, weirder Hell. Holy moly, how many Hells are there?

[twominutes]

Clownery is an art, not a built-in gag!

[ how dare he!!! but like, he's still scary so fizz isn't going to tell him to absolutely fuck right off the face of hell, heaven, and the garden. ohhhh, but he wants to. ]

[twominutes]

Satan's ████—

[ it's for the best that one was censored, actually. in any case he physically jumps when he's startled, as one does, his hat jingling wildly before he sits up to stare at the........well, she's clearly from hell, but he's never met her before(like he's met everyone in hell, right) and she apparently doesn't know who he is, so maybe she's from this hell?

who knows!

anyway: ]

Yes, an imp. What the ████ do you need?

[twominutes]

[ hmmmm, another person that looks wildly out of place in hell due to angel-ness, but also looks wildly out of place as an angel... inchresting. very inchresting.

anyway he sighs, but does listen to the description he gets in return, genuinely thinking about it before shaking his head. ]

Nah man, I'm sorry. ████ sucks, this is even worse than normal Hell.

[twominutes]

[ oh... a bunny person... that's cute, actually. his hat kind of looks like bunny ears. it's a vibe! he sits up more properly, waving a metal hand like he's shooing away the apology. ]

Nah, it's okay. I'm just used to being bothered on purpose so it comes naturally.

[ or it does now, after he quit his shitty job and doesn't have to pretend, but hey. ]

It's really nice here, huh? Never thought I'd see it.

[twominutes]

[ eh, fizz has dealt with much worse than 'mildly unpleasant,' so this is probably going to be easy. we'll see!

he's never actually gotten a look like that before because he's... pretty normal back home... despite the metal limbs and all. which are still metal, despite apparently being sent to heaven. man, heaven fucking sucks.

he's not surprised by the fact she doesn't know where his ozzie is, but he'll mope about that later. he does answer the question, though: ]

Ugh. Normally, yes. Right now, no. Apparently I'm a ██████ ███████ angel ███████ here despite every bit of ███████ evidence to the contrary. I'm an imp! I was born in Hell!

[ oh, he's FUSSY fussy. ]

[twominutes]

I'm sure you'll get used to it. Sure, people can usually read your emotions off of it, but it's a small price to pay.

[ a beat, and then: ] Uhhhhh, well, yeah. Have you never dealt with a government agency before? When they say 'paperwork,' they mean paperwork, and that aaaaaaalways takes foreverrrrrrr.

[ oh no, his babies. oh no, his babies back home. if ozzie isn't here he'll take care of them, but... they'll miss their daddy... ]

I'm assuming you mean pets or companions or something? Yeah, mine aren't going to be happy I'm gone...

[twominutes]

[ wowee! if fizz had a gold star sticker he'd present him with one, genuinely. ]

There being even more than one is sure news to me! I don't have the brains to be existentially upset about this right now.

[respectless]

Naturally. I want to go back to being Hell's top fashion designer and having the perks that go with it. I'm fine with keeping a civil distance. Distract Alastor from provoking Valentino and I'll distract Valentino from Angel.

[bugbeverage]

For real for real. Heaven doesn't even exist where I'm from, it's just made up to make breathers feel better about kicking the bucket.

[ He reaches up to twirl his halo around one finger as though he's temporarily lost in thought. He's not dumb enough to think he ended up an angel on purpose. Something was going on. But it also wasn't his problem. SHRUG. ]

Oh, where are my manners? Call me BJ!

[ He extends a grubby hand. ]

[supersaver]

[Ochako would admire Penny's ears and ultra fluffy tail as well, but she's a little miffed, brows knit together as she pulls out a bandana and uses it to push back her hair and those ears to keep them from her face for the inevitable workout that's going to happen.]

Mm, if you don't mind...

[Scouring through the list of songs, Ochako finds one that definitely has a very...energized beat and selects it. It's about middling in terms of difficulty - not hard to the point of tripping over oneself, but enough to work up a sweat. She did say she needed to stomp around, sooo...]

Ready?

[outrageon]

[Velvet tries not to— oh no nevermind she absolutely doesn't try not to laugh. She laughs outright, brows creasing in her amused confusion—]

Waitwaitwaitwait, are they censoring you because you're an angel now?

[HA!]

Oh my god, I've gotta see if that works on my brother la— wait, you're an imp?

Why are you all— expensive looking? _{Seriously, those guys dress cheap.}

➥ Hell

[nestingdevil]

[He's halfway through peeling a board off the window of his new bar when he hears the question. The wood cracks under the pressure of his claws and as he yanks at it with one, final pull, it gives way, leaving splintering bits and cocked-crooked nails to meet the rest of the garbage on the street.]

Hmn? [Greed drops the wooden plank and shakes his wrist to remove any stubborn bits stuck to his nails. Truth be told, he's a little surprised by what he sees when he tips his head over his shoulder. Not that the High and Righteous types aren't allowed down below, but this one's all wild gestures, odd movements, and nothing that he's saying makes a lick of sense.]

[Still, he looks a little desperate, doesn't he?]

[The Sin flattens one of his four hands along the dip of his shoulder to knead at a stiff spot.] Oi, oi. Slow down for a second, would ya? [He's trying to catch up on everything Fizz is saying: big guy, purple, rooster tail, one (no three) faces. The former homunculus finds the spot, presses it, and a deep, pleased rumble teases in his chest.] Ah - sorry, friend. Haven't run into someone like that. [Slipping two of his claws into his pocket, Greed goes to pinch the lip of half-bent cigarette pack.]

[He pulls out two smokes in between his knuckles.] Let's start with a name, huh? Who's this person you're looking for?